Why won't he let me touch IT? What's the problem here?

So, my new guy and I get pretty hot and heavy and touch each while making out, but whenever I go to touch his penis (over AND under the clothes) he kind of pushes my hands away. I thought I was just imagining things at first, but now I'm sure of it. We've gone so far as oral and that has gone very well, but I'm confused. Even leading up to a BJ the other day I was kissing his neck and reaching to touch it but he stopped me and said "I want your mouth to be the first thing that touches it". I obviously touched it with my hands later during the BJ and that was fine, but what's with the initial resistance to touching during making out or touching it before my mouth goes onto it? It's not like I ever hurt him before with my hands... What does this mean?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I have never heard of a guy that doesn't want his girl to touch him like that, but was still okay with her giving him a BJ. Otherwise I might guess he was shy or something. All I can do is make a wild guess, but maybe he was molested by someone at some point, and has boundary/control issues about sex now. On one hand he could carry this emotional baggage, but on the other hand still desires sex. So he is trying to find a middle ground where he can feel safe, but still enjoy sex.

  • It sounds like a fantasy crossed with a fetish. Does he grope you when you're making out? I'd bet the answer is a resounding yes. Well, what's good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander so tell him to man up and be fair. If you want to role play where you physically struggle over touching his member and all that, go for it. I suspect it would be great fun.

    • No -it has nothing to do with role-play

    • I understand that. I was suggesting that it might have some opportunities there.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • That is really weird/strange. Maybe he was harassed as a child? And you touching him down their with your hands might have brought back unwanted memories. I really can't think of many reasons for such behavior.

  • He might think it's small.

    • No that's not an issue. Just can't figure it out!

    • Maybe he just doesn't like hands to touch it.

    • Yeah! I just can't figure out why!

  • He's seen mine and is insecure of his, but once you are really into it he doesn't mind

  • Maybe he has some kind of trauma about having it touched? I don't understand why else a guy wouldn't want to be touched there.

  • I never ever heard of a guy not wanting to be touched by his partner. I think it might just be his thing like some people don't like to get food massages because the think its wrong or when they don't want to be kissed on the neck. Everyone has their thing.

    • Hmmm... maybe