Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why does my boyfriend rarely ever eat me out?

I give him like hour long blowjobs. he takes a long time to cum so my mouth hurts but i enjoy the feeling and taste and i like to make him feel good and happy. But he doesn't really eat me out alot.. well barely. It's occasional. I dont smell bad down there, i always wash right before and if i know it smells odd i dont let him do it, so he won't feel obligated. But sometimes i just get really sad and feel so gross because he doesn't do it as much as i would like. it actually makes me very very sad, i feel like i do enough you know and lots of my other friends get it. I enjoy when he eats me out so much that id want it everyday but thats never gonna happen. I've asked him why he rarely does it and he says because he's had bad experiences where other girls tasted weird and had to adjust. but that was years ago.. we've been together for 1 year and we have great sex. and its still an issue. I've told him about how i feel and he tells me that he just gets scared it'll taste weird, Its really weird because the first night we started going out he ate me out so good.. like amazing. and made me think he was really into it, he said he loved the taste and everything but now ugh,, He does it like once a month , sometimes not even. I don't know why he doesn't like it i feel so bad. it hurts me and i dont want to make him feel forced i just wish he'd offer it. its not something i would leave him for but i just dont feel like im enough :( what do i do? should i be this sad or get over it?
i eat my girl out very often/ i get eaten out very often
Vote A
i do it occasionally/i get it occasionally
Vote B
as a guy i understand him/ my guy is the same
Vote C
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Updates:
+1 y
SO he came upon this post and he told me he'll do it more. I was embarrassed but its good right? :)
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Hey you answered my Q, so I thought I'd return the favor -

    I'll list a few pointers here, but ultimately it comes down to communication - which it sounds like you've been trying. I would keep trying to talk about it if it's really important to you - think about what you want to say before hand and what you want the goal of the conversation to be. Does he know how much it matters to you/ how much you like it/ how much it can impact you when it doesn't happen/ etc? If he really cares about you, he'll listen and adjust, or at least open up more about why it's hard for him.
    I get it, personally. I consider myself a pretty giving/caring guy, but I'll admit I haven't always been great at this. In my 20's, it was kind of weird for me - I think it's much different than a BJ, which is kind of like sucking on another body part (like fingers, or a breast for guys) - it's actually putting your tongue inside of someone else's body/ the things associated with that, and in my more immature days I'll admit it kinda grossed me out. Having grown since then, I have come to like and appreciate it, especially if it's with someone I really love and I care about their happiness.
    One thing that worked with my long term girlfriend - There's a legit physiological response for men after they orgasm that makes them immediately tired - If I came first, I would be more likely to forget/ or just lack the energy to go down on her. So, me going down on her first worked better for both of us.
    I hope that helped - good luck!

  • You're letting him get away with not doing it. For lack of a better term, you're going to have to "make" him do it. You can use it as an incentive (he goes down on you, you go down on him), as a punishment (no sex of any kind unless he does), or find out some way to make a game out of it.

    If he's worried about smell or taste, just make sure you're always clean down there. Don't give him any excuse to get out of doing it.

    • Thanks. When i feel bad about it and i try to give him a BJ he's like "no babe don't, it's not fair you don't have to" But i just don't have a problem with it :/ I just wish he'd want to. i really dont want to force it cause i wouldn't feel right.

    • It's sweet of you to think that way, but it's a bit of a problem if he doesn't reciprocate. You're clearly troubled by it. Most guys are worried that they aren't any good at it. It can be tricky. But I really enjoy doing it - it can be really sexy for me. So you just have to get him into it. Otherwise, he's going to keep taking without giving back.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Key to good sex: Ask for what you want & don't be bashful about it.

    Guys want to be good at sex. That's a universal trait (and believe me, there aren't that many). It helps him when you tell him what you want. He WANTS to have you climbing the walls (thanks to what he's doing). He WANTS to have you bragging about how good he is in bed. He WANTS to have you jump him as soon as you get through the door because you couldn't stop thinking about what he did last time.

    If oral is on the list of things that will get you to do that, he will consider it- trust me. Especially when he's done a considerable amount of it before. All you have to do is bring it up. Conversations about sex are one of the few times when you're guaranteed to have 100% of your man's attention (because as we discussed, he's looking for any tip, any little hint of something that'll get you up on that ceiling).

    If he's not (or if he doesn't care about pleasuring you), then it's probably best that you find a sexual partner that does (& there are plenty of them that'll be lining up for the job as soon as they know the position is open to be filled, take my word for it). The sex should be getting better over time (as you learn what the other person likes) not worse.

  • I dated a guy like that once around 10 years ago he hated eating P ! He took 3 baths a day and was a major clean freak I am a very clean person but not crazy ocd like him we had sex like rabbits everyday for like 6 months but he just wasn't into that I broke up with him because of it. Ok I am older now I wouldn't break up with someone because of that but it hints at a pattern of not caring about your needs pr addressing them. If he is good in every other way and you are otherwise happy I would say I want more foreplay until he goes down on you refuse having sex with him just don't be like eat it or I'm not giving you any. You have to be subtle and stop giving him head ! Guys who get head all the time think they are walking on clouds ! They really have no clue how spoiled they are and 1 hour geez why does he take so long annoying ! Stop at 10 minutes tell him you are bored or tired and turn on the tv... you have the pussy take back your control ! I wouldn't mind 20 minutes by the way I enjoy doing it just it hurts my jaw any more than that and it just isn't happening.

  • Even though he's not willing to say it, it's an odor / taste problem. Don't shoot the messenger here; I'm only saying what I believe is the case. Showers and wipes don't do the trick. Baths are the only way to get clean and even then there can still be smegma in the folds and under your hood. Also, clean puss, but unclean butt is a major showstopper. My taste changes throughout the month. Best taste is when I'm ovulating. Diet and vitamins make a big difference in taste, so if for example, you're eating asparagus and B vitamins, you're gonna be stinky.

    • Not even a butt problem. he has licked that too.. >_< But yeah i know it's a smell/taste problem but what am i suppose to do? even when i know i smell good down there and shave he'll hesitate. its so annoying because obviously he doesn't have to go through a period or anything that's why he doesn't have the same smells. But it just makes me feel like im not clean enough for him and i always shower right before i clean everything out, i even smell it to see. i feel like he's just lazy and i hate it because it's not fair. i wish he woud offer it to me. i never ask him but he does it rarely and surprises me and its fun but it just makes meant it more so yeah.

    • Have you tried having him do it while you're both in the shower together. Husband and I have had some amazing results there. The water keeps everything fresh. It's not so relaxing as lying in bed, but it's oral and it's good.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 3

  • I would eat a girl that is shaven, fit, smart, cute, someone who I've got an emotional connection with. I guess guy's tend to be reluctant because... Well, I don't know to be honest. If you want, you could refuse him blow jobs until he's willing to meet you halfway.

  • Stop giving him blow jobs.

    • I agree, as much as you love giving them - a tit for tat approach.

  • I'd finish the job for her first... then I'd let her get to me after.

  • I swear people will think this answer is bad but here goes. I want someone to love (love is an action) me as I love them. If I am with a woman and I really dig her and I adore pleasing her it is a big disappointment to see a lack of effort on her part. That tells me something. That tells me there is no love for me or not enough. I deserve more so I get more. I won't date any woman no matter how gorgeous if we do not both truly dig each other. Sure discuss it with him and if he has a valid excuse for not pleasing you as much it may be worked out. Other than a feasible explanation I would leave him.

  • I know the feeling my boyfriend barely eats me out either and I give him BJs every time but they don't last long but still. I think you're being too kind an hour long BJ is a lot. Even if he doesn't like it he should try pleasing you more.

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