Guys, is no blowjobs (ever) a deal breaker?

I'm very inexperienced with sex, because I'm demisexual and it takes a while for me to get intimate with a partner on my own. Which has caused problems with past relationships. My boyfriend of two years now have gotten to talking about actually having sex. I'm still a virgin, but we've done intimate stuff before. I told him bluntly I'd never give him a blowjob. They are disgusting to me (not his genitals, but having an area that also relieves waste the body doesn't need anywhere near my mouth. Same reason I don't want his mouth on my genitals) And I want to enjoy sex too throughout the experience without doing something I'm uncomfortable with, and I return that because I'm saying no to something he may like, he can turn me down for something I may like he won't enjoy. He then joked that he was fine with no blowjobs, though he had them and liked them before, but told me some guys would seriously dump a girl for saying no to something like that. A girl they love and cherish, but leave because of this one thing. Is he serious? And I'm not saying be in a relationship you're not happy with or sataified, but leave her when no bjs became clear after having possibly fallen in love and gotten serious?
Yes, I'd leave her. Most my relationships are strictly sexual. Why stay when I'm not satisfied?
Vote A
Yes, I'd leave her, because it's something Id want as part of my sex life and it's not like I wouldn't return the favor ;)
Vote B
No, I wouldn't leave for something like that
Vote C
No, but I'd deny her something she want as well.
Vote D
No, but I'd be upset she not at least try/offer on special occasions
Vote E
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Most Helpful Guys

  • If you don't want do something for a guy you shouldn't
    force yourself to do that stuff so if he threatens to
    break up there is guys out there who will live a loving
    relationship without engaging oral sex with girl
    my late mother never believed in giving oral sex to
    my dad so he was asshole divorced my mom (late)
    and took up with this woman who gave oral sex wow
    she is real loony but Hun your in the right don't let him
    make you feel guilty you don't need to do anything your
    not comfortable doing i wish more girls were out there
    didn't like oral sex

    • He's far from making me feel guilty. Three years older, with more experience and more history dating, and he choose me then getting with another girl? I'm over the f*cking moon with him. A true keeper. Thanks for answering :)

    • You really need to start treating people with respect and the vibes i get from you is very bad your very inexperience in sex and Karma's a bitch so treat people nice

    • Woah, where did that that come from?

  • I would be okay with no blowjobs, but if she wouldn't ever let me go down on her, that would be a huge disappointment for me.

    • Hmm, first time I heard that one. Thanks for letting for letting me know that and answering my question

    • I just like the idea of giving a woman pleasure and multiple orgasms (something that I can't do). That turns me on more than receiving oral.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15
  • Respectable.

    However, some of us like those unrespectable women >:)

    If it's someone you are with a long ass time it would be easier, but if it's just a temporary or short term lustful thing, do you really want to be that type of girl?

    • I want to be the girl that can be dirty with my boyfriend, but that takes time and I can have limits and standards, and he can have them back. If communication was strong, I can be open. But right now bj is far from a thing I'll do. Thanks for your answer.

  • It didn't used to be. But now, it definitely is.

  • What you won't do someone else will and if he wants it that bad instead of pressuring he will probably cheat

    • Hmm, good thing mine isn't like that. Sorry for girls who do have them. They deserve better. Guys as well, who have girls who cheat for reasons like these. Cheats are just vile in my eyes. Thanks for answering my question!

    • Well you are still very young and have a lot to learn about sex and pleasure. I know you are thinking about what comes out of out of private parts, but as long as a person has good hygiene and no diseases there is nothing wrong with oral sex. That's just food for thought.

    • I'm almost 20, I put the wrong year on my profile, but from what I've learned growing up, there is always stuff you don't know for every kind of topic. But I have my perferences and standards, and I think I'll just stick with them. Maybe I'll change, but only time will tell. For now, can i hear a "Hell No"? XD

  • Yes, it's a deal breaker for me. Oral sex is a huge part of foreplay and is also one of the most selfless and intimate acts one can perform.

    • I may not agree for it to be a deal breaker, but thanks for answering with an honest opinion. Some people are just different.

  • If the sex is great I wouldn't care.

  • I would hopefully know this very far in advance and it would not be too serious and I could just say sorry I need that in my sex life and leave. If I fell in love with a girl I wouldn't leave for that, but the girl I am dating I would want to be the kind that enjoys giving me a bj

  • When you're both adults, yes. You're young, and if he doesn't like it there's guys who will gladly take his place.

  • It would be really hard to go without. There would be severe sanctions if I didn't get it.

  • Then have fun being alone

  • My motto:no blow, gotta go! I love oral sex giving and receiving. It's a must have.

  • A preference is a preference. No need to get my panties in a bunch if she doesn't want to give a blowjob. Honestly, I'll think I'm very lucky to get one in the first place!

  • I last longer if I get oral first

  • I want blow jobs or you get no love.

    • Cool. Well, I hope you and your future or current partner are happy together. Thanks for the honesty

  • no blow jobs, no boyfriend.

    • Straight, blunt, and to the point. XD thanks for answering

  • Well, no, not absolutely. I can think of a lot of variety without the mouth, and if she kisses you can still enjoy that part of her.

    Although, to be frank, it would scare me if a girl said she had a low sex-drive.

    • Yeah. I got the low sex drive reaction thing alot. I have a good one once I get going as it is now with my bf, but it just takes a while to to get there, and some just can't wait. Thanks for answering :)

    • I am a bit ashamed to admit, I guess I did not realize what demi-sexual meant. I could really appreciate a girl who wanted to wait, so long as I thought she would desire me when the proper time came.

    • Not many people do. For the longest time i thought i had NO sex drive and was gonna miss out on a big part of life. But after dating a little, i figured out my self and my sexuality. Time is all i need, and I'm glad to know people out there can understand patience in dating for those like us.

  • well the last bf i have ever gotten she decided to fucking bite and make me bleed so you can take a guess on how much im pretty scared of putting my dick in a girls mouth atm

    • Well, sorry about that! XD Thanks for answering though!