My boyfriend feels like he missed out on my sexual prime?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has had a crush on me since high school but we only got together in our 4th year of college. I used to be really loose sexually, I have to admit, slutty. Before I got together with him I decided to change to a decent life attitude, stopped being a slut and started a relationship with him. We are really happy together. But before that, he had tried to get me for so long and I just fucked around with other 'hotter' guys and turned him down because I was 'out of his league'. I broke his heart so many times back then for which I feel terrible. I can't help but notice that he feels frustrated about the fact that other guys got me when I was horny all the time and now I'm not anymore. We do have sex but in a very different and more calm way then I used to before him. I don't feel like doing for instance doggystyle or blowjobs anymore cause I link it to that past that I want to forget. I also got a breast reduction because I felt that men constantly looked at my breasts and I didn't get taken seriously (I had 34DDD). First year of college, I was his prom date because I felt bad for him. I became prom queen and this popular guy (real asshole) became king. I got drunk and gave that guy a blowjob. Me being drunk, I let him film a part with his phone and he sent it around. Now recently we ran into that guy. I was being friendly and my bf too since he didn't know about that leaked tape. Same day that guy sent my bf that blowjob tape to make fun of him, "to remind him what my tits used to looked like back then" as he wrote. My bf says he's ok, that it's just the past but I notice that he is seriously hurt in what he says. It's like those guys back then had me in a more sexual way and in a better shape and he just gets what's left over and they laugh at him about it. What should I do to help him get over this?

[ekelly217]

Oh boy this is a tough one. First off, people go to college act stupid, do stupid things, and change stupidly. I understand the whole best four years of your life, and letting loose. But too often then not, people act like when they hook up with people, its like no one ever knows. WRONG. A hook up is perfect thing guys want so they can brag to there friends, especially their frat boys. In my experience, people in relationships keep there intimate life private. Even the stuck up frat boys. I tell this to my ex who going to school in fall. I said meet new people, have fun do cool things, but set the line. Because boys, especially, find out real quick who the easy girls are. And the girls don't notice. So i said be careful or the best 4 years will be the best 2 fun years, and two years of being the slut. But she didn't listen, she already went up there and hooked up with a guy. But this is all over now. He knows some stories. He knows who you were. And in his mind, he's been telling him self for years, that he would take you out, love you, spend on you, and make you happy, all for what you did to these other guys for nothing. So your really lucky that you have a guy like this im serious. Girls are crazy man, so many guys out there that would give you the world for just a glance from your eyes, and they give it up to some jerk. Its the boys fault too though, there some really big d bags at university's.

Hope you can fix it, but it will be a lot of work, and your gonna have to keep reassuring him of the path your taking now instead of before. Don't be upset if there's some underlying trust issues coming from him.
But still good luck and be well

[Red_Arrow]

You have not yet reached your sexual prime (according to the experts). So you should be hornier now than before. It was wise of you to clean up your act, but in the sense that you don't screw around, have drunken sex with guys you consider assholes, etc. But forget the idea of linking what you did to who you did it with. For instance blow jobs. You obviously like them, and now you have a guy that you care about that would really like them. In a sense you are punishing him by associating great sexual things to otheres and refusing to do them with him. Same goes for positions. If you like it doggy style before, then you should like it more with him.

I know that it is not you trying to punish your bf, but that is what it has become. And I know that you do link it to your past, but you need to learn to unlink it. You may even need counseling to help you do this, but You should do what it takes for him, and also for yourself. No reason to not do things you have enjoyed just because you have calmed down to one guy. Work on getting your enjoyment of sexual things back, while keeping it to just the one guy.

[ami04]

Let him know a woman's sexual prime actually isn't until 30 or older. If I were you, I would find some way to let go of the past yourself or it may stop you from enjoying your real "prime"!

[truthbeknown]

I think your bf likes you way more than you like him. You don't have that passion with him and it is reflecting in your sexual interested in him, or lack there of.

[kheserthorpe]

Why would he get over it?

It's either true that your sexual days are mainly over or you're punishing him for resentment you feel about not getting the guys you wanted.

I suspect he will simply feel more and more bitter over time.

[heavymetalbrotha]

jeez that's scary idea as soon as sex gets stale i kind of lose interest in hanging around for it