Should I be worried about my boyfriends new obsession with bondage sex?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year now, both of us have always enjoyed rough sex and we have a lot of it. I've never been alarmed by anything we have done until now, most people in their 20s like having lots of sex anyway. We started having sex about five months into our relationship and since then we have been getting more daring and a little rougher with each other. The last two months he has shown a slight desire for bondage sex. It started out with him just wanting to tie me to the bed while he has sex with me and it has grown much more than that now. I'm all for trying new things in the bedroom especially if it make sex better it's just lately he's been going really far with this bondage thing. He's always having me on my knees with my hands tied up over my head and rope tied around my boobs while I give him head, he even bought a ball gag for me to wear while I'm tied up and he's having sex with me. The part that worries me the most was last week he asked me to put on some old clothes and underwear, I didn't really know why but I had a feeling it was something to do with sex so I did it. He came into the room wearing a black ski mask, I was a little startled by this but I just let him do his thing. He told me to lay on the bed he pulled my blue Jean skirt off and tied me up. he Put the ball gag in my mouth and violently ripped my shirt open, with a pair scissors he cut my bra and thong off and told me to resist him a little bit. Tied up I kind of wiggled around a little bit and he held me down by my throat and started having sex with me. After about 15 minutes of squirming around while he's having sex with me I had a thought go through my head like he was raping me. To make me feel more comfortable I told him to lay down and I got on top of him, I pulled his ski mask off and rode him until he finished. Is this normal behavior for someone who likes bondage? For a minute I felt like he was wanting to rape me. Should I be worried by this

[Kaynetime]

I'm very into bondage myself and I can tell you that both of you need to take some classes. Make some rules and make sure you both understand them. Good safety words and all that. It's a good thing that he let you on top of him when he did that ski mask thing, EVEN BETTER thing is you communicated that you were uncomfortable. BDSM is a game of trust, the sub needs to trust the dom of course but the dom needs to trust the sub aswell. We don't want to hurt our pets, he don't want them to feel raped or anything like that. We need to trust you to tell us when you are uncomfortable or else we can't go as far as we want to.

https://shiniez.deviantart.com/ I love this comic it goes over all the things I talked about and more. It's NSFW but it's not quite p*rn.

[Anonymous]

Well, bondage is a progressive thing.

If you get off on it, it kind of snowballs quickly. You're like, "well, that was awesome, what's the next step like? What else can I do?"

At some point, it's going to cross a line that you're going to be seriously uncomfortable with, and you're going to feel hurt and betrayed when it does, and it's not even going to really be his fault, but things won't be the same between you after that. I'd seriously recommend that you TELL him IMMEDIATELY when something's made you uncomfortable or made you feel a little disturbed, so that it never gets to that point.

It's okay to have boundaries, and you haven't really set any. It sounds like it's time to do that.

[letsgetlost]

He could just be into BDSM, but it sounds as if you are not, and that's perfectly fine. HOWEVER. If you are in a BDSM relationship, trust is and ABSOLUTE MUST. He needs to ask before he does things, ask what you're comfortable with, tell you what he wants to happen before it happens, not leave you guessing. You HAVE to know that there won't be surprises and that if you say stop or that you're uncomfortable or in pain, he will stop what he's doing immediately. Otherwise, it is actually rape punishable in the court of law.

[Anonymous]

It depends on whether or not you like it. I mean this is something I am totally into. But if you feel uncomfortable then let him know. Tell him to ease up, and that you feel it's going to far and your scared for your own safety,

[kheserthorpe]

I don't -think- so.

The reason I'm saying I don't -think- so is that even in the midst of his new rough fantasy, when you were uncomfortable and asked to change it up he seemed like he complied fairly easily, so it doesn't seem like he's getting all into it and ignoring what you request.

That said, he might want to get that 'surprises' aren't optimal, he should probably discuss stuff with you a little more. He needs to recognize that sometimes people may not feel comfortable with things, and you should likely have safe words if you don't (and a safe word alternative if you're gagged).

[Chlo3_2001]

Talk to him. Really, it sounds like you guys are just starting out. Have lots of big discussions and tell him what you do and don't like and what you aren't sure about and how you feel, what scares you. If he is a great Dom he will provide good after-care as well and he's gonna see if you're okay. Discussions on hard and soft limits too. I actually don't have any bindage experience but I've researched it extensively and it's something I'm really in to the idea of. How are you feeling? Are you alright? If it gets too much and you have anxiety or panic or something feels off and you want to stop or something triggers you make sure there is a way you can both communicate during play.

[Riribichri]

How old are u both

[tcwmass]

sounds like he is watching too much Internet p*rn and trying to imitate it LOL, if he i8s getting a bit too aggressive, talk to him and express your concerns

[slsmith0]

Depends are you into this. Bdsm comes in many forms and that is one of them. If you don't mind it then go for it if you do mind it then talk about it safe words or safe symbols also can help.

[RebeccaSJ]

Why would it worry you?

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[JennieF]

Nah.

[Chris0012]

This sounds a bit extreme. I wonder what he has in store for you next.

[QuietRunner]

if you don't like, either leave the guy or tell him to stop.

seems like it going down a dark path

[Raynera]

It’s normal. People like to try new things. I’m like a dominatrix now. People pay me to tie them up. 😈

[Anonymous]

Before the restraints are buckled in you should get a list of things that can be done or that you don't want to be done before that. if your partner has you tied up and goes beyond what you have agreed to before then that would be considered rape and Trust will be lost in him