Why does it feel good to be dominated?

[Anonymous]

I recently had sex with a guy that I'm talking to. He is a totally different person while having sex. He can be very bossy and dominating. He talks dirty to me and tells me how to do things and he tells me how and where he wants it. And his touch is firm but sensual. For some reason it turns me on so much. I guess I like to be dominated. I get joy out of pleasing him. He's the first guy to not be afraid to be dominating and I didn't have to ask him to. He did it on his own. I don't know why but I actually felt so feminine having this man tell me what to do and talk dirty to me. He can make me take my clothes off in a split second just by talking to me in my ear. He really does make me melt. I enjoy making slow sensual love, and I enjoy being in control as well but why do you think its such a turn on to be dominated? Is it just that we have a good chemistry?

[Anonymous]

Not everyone likes to be dominated. There are men and women who like to dominate, and men and women who like to be submissive.

While I am not submissive, I think one of the perks is that you don't have to have the responsibility of being in control. In life, we have to worry about things and make sure we handle our responsibilities, so I imagine some people like to just lay back and let someone else take over and pleasure them in the bedroom.

[Asker]

Yea i know. Everyone is different. And yea, I do like to let others pleasure me sometimes and other times I like to be in control =) it all depends on how I'm feeling lol

[Opinion Owner]

as long as you know what you like and feel comfortable saying so. It's good that you found a guy that is so sexually compatible with you! (And I just hate it when guys on this site expect the woman to be submissive simply because she is a woman. People have different preferences, and people like to be versatile. There is nothing wrong with being submissive, or looking for someone who is submissive, I just hate it when guys expect it)

[Asker]

That is very true. Women like different stuff. They shouldn't expect submissiveness. And sometimes what we want sexually changes from day to day lol. And I know right! I'm glad I found a guy so sexually compatible as well. I'm working on making him my man lol I hope it blossoms into that one day soon. I don't just want a sexual relationship with him.

[Sub_Girl]

I know right!

It just feels so good to surrender!

[AustinMan]

I can't believe this question hasn't gotten an answer before now. You're perfectly normal and it's really good that you recognize from the get go that he has two personalities: his "real life" persona and his sexual persona. I'm very much like that myself. You're a sexual submissive and he's a Dom. Just enjoy it. Has any kink come up yet? Has he spanked you or restrained you or pushed your limits?

[Asker]

No, not yet. I told him that I like to be spanked and would like to try being tied up and he said he would love to do that to me. It's funny though because I never told him that I like when a guy is dominating we just had sex and he was automatically like that. We became those roles naturally.

[AustinMan]

That's ideal. This is a little forward but it might be worth the fun it would win: order him a paddle as a gift, preferably something thinner as thicker ones are harder to learn to take on a bare bottom. I was thinking of a light wood with his name on the handle and your name on the blade. Another idea is to buy him a pair of fabric wrist cuffs. They are much less likely to bruise that traditional handcuffs.

[Asker]

You really think he would like that? =) I enjoy having sex with him but I really want him to be mine. I want him to be my man and lover before I start going all out and buying him gifts lol =(

[AustinMan]

There's certainly merit in what you say. I just thought it might move him toward treating you like the little tart you are. Another approach, as if you need advice from me, is to lean over to him in the car when you're on the way home and wetly whisper something like, "I've been very, very bad and deserve to be spanked hard on my naughty bare bottom."

[Asker]

Hmm I would definitely love to say that to him! He would probably love that. =)

[AustinMan]

So do it!! Kind of as a dare. Men love being challenged so they can have their "revenge"

[AdamThomas]

Because you're a woman.

[Asker]

I guess that's the way nature intended it to be? Lol

[Sub_Girl]

You love dominating woman sir?