Any guys here who are AGAINST their gf masturbating? How can I get my boyfriend to join me?

[BuchitaBuchys]

My bf for some reason hates the idea of me masturbating. He says that he wants to be the only one to please me. He said before he would masturbate a lot as a teen and he doesn't want me to get like he was. I told him a showerhead is nice, but dick is better and he has nothing to worry about. I told him I just have a high sex drive and can't see him everytime I want to. I keep trying to reassure him that vibes, showerheads, nothing can replace his great penis, tongue, or his hands! I have fantasies where I'm using my showerhead to focus on my clit and him kissing my neck and licking and sucking my tits. I have other fantasies that involve me and him masturbating and watching each other. Many more that I'd like to do with him but he's so against it. :/ Any guys here against their gfs masturbating as well? Is there anything she can do to change your mind? Should I just give up on him accepting it? Any ideas? Help please? :/

[saccharose]

To be honest I do feel the same as your bf but there are always few reasons related to it. First of all I think if my gf is masturbating it does seem like I am not the sufficient provider. It doesn't have to do with shower or anything it is just that you need something else apart from your bf to get off. I mean you can have more and more sex or oral with him and he won't mind but when you are doing it alone on your own that actually does make him feel bad as he wants to be the one covering all your needs.

By the way I personally like your fantasy of masturbating in front of each other and oh it is pretty hot. I don't do it much but once in a long time it is super cool. In fact thinking of your fantasy I just realized that another reason could be that he doesn't want you to do it when he is not around.

Basically, try persuading him for your fantasy of masturbating in front of each other, maybe it will change his mind. Good Luck :)

[BuchitaBuchys]

But it's not like I'd ever leave him or deny him over my showerhead? lol wtf And I don't use it like after we have sex. He can make me cum and orgasms multiple times during sex. But I only use it when we can't see each other. He works a lot. 6days/week dayshift. I go to school and work nights as a bartender. So our schedules are always conflicting. Sometimes we both have to ask for a day off just to make time for each other. If I could, I'd fuck him senseless whenever, but right now we're both busy so I can't. :/ Seeing as you have similar issues, would there be anyway to persuade you? If you had a gf, what could she do to try to sway your opinion? I mean, I want him to join me because I have so many fantasies and I would love to fulfill them. I also don't want him to feel threatened by a damn showerhead because he can and does satisfy me, but not all the time like I want.

[saccharose]

Well, this is a pretty different situation you guys have, I mean you guys barely have time for each other. And you are right that it is hard to not have sex and not masturbate either. Umm, but you know if I think of myself and I feel like that I can stay without masturbating and only will have sex with you then I would expect the same from you. I mean in a relationship both partners have to sacrifice and if I feel bad to masturbate then I don't want my partner to masturbate either. It is not like I have some issue with shower-head or even vibrators for that matter, it is more like a matter of respect that I am not masturbating because it is basically awkward when I have someone special. It should be noted here that long distance is a different matter but here you both are near each other and at max can have sex at least once a week. Also if you want more sex then you guys can be do it before he leaves for work or before you leave for the bar.

[saccharose]

Also about your fantasies, I think you can only make him try those if you guys are bored from normal sex and trying to do something new. Or if you are having lots of sex. Ummm you can also try about your fantasies if you guys are just done with having sex. That time he will have less sex drive so that time is nice to try something different or new. I personally would not be persuaded for your masturbating fantasies unless I am kind of in a less horny position and already have sex and don't want to do it for now. In your case it is pretty hard as you guys are barely sleeping with each other. Good Luck :)

[BuchitaBuchys]

I see. He's somewhat fine with it, but he prefers I don't tell him. He says he loves me and wants to be the only one. He wants to be the only one who satisfies me. I told him he is. But when I remember how much he satisfies me, I get aroused and need to pleasure myself, while thinking about him. We don't see each other often, if we did, like if we lived together. I would stop for him if it bothered him. Because I'm certain if we lived together we'd be able to have sex before he leaves or before I go to work. I don't have a car right now and his car broke down. So we can't really see each other much. He's working a lot because he wants to move on his own. I have to help my mama with the bills and take care of my little brothers. So our living situations, it's hard to have time for ourselves alone, even harder with such busy schedules. :/ Oh well, I don't know if he'll fully accept it, but I do have to respect his boundaries.

[saccharose]

Now see this is called lack of information and due to that things change like I thought basically you guys are kind of living together. Hmm in this case, girl it will take time. Also if he is okay with you not telling him that your problem is solved right there. Although if you still want to tell him and you guys basically don't get the time for sex at all, like once or twice a month then it is different. I mean he shouldn't be having any problems with you masturbating unless he is not doing it because of you.

[Red_Arrow]

Tell him you will agree to never use the vibrator if he will please you every time you get the urge. Then call him at work and tell him you are horny and he has to come over right then. If he can't be there to pleasure you, deal off.

If he wants to be the one and only with the stipulation that you cannot even masturbate, he has to be there any time you "need" it. Maybe he will get it through his thick skull that since he can't be there always, there has to be times you take care of yourself.

His expectations are immature and very unrealistic. You will not be able to stand him if he does not get over it soon!

[BuchitaBuchys]

I'm trying to convince him. He says he just wants to be the only one to satisfy me. Which I said he is. But he said the thought of a showerhead, vibrator, dildo, doing the job he loves to do just troubles him. I told him that I love him, I love his penis, I love his hands, I love his tongue, I love to hold his body during, I even love him cumming all over me. No toy, dildo, vibrator, showerhead, will ever give me that full experience! But even if it somehow did, I'd still choose his penis over some wonderous toy that could give me the full experience as sex. I told him sex is a 2way street and I like pleasuring him too, I can't please a toy because it doesn't feel anything lol

[Red_Arrow]

I already understood all that. But point out that there are times you want/need satisfaction and if he insists that only he, in person, is to give you satisfaction, then he needs to be there at that moment! Ask him if he is willing to drop everything and come to you when you are so horny you are quivering, and he can either say he will do it or he will say he cannot. And when he says he cannot, ask him why he would deny you satisfying that urgent need with only your hands, toys, and thoughts of him. There are NO others in that for him to be jealous of. If he cannot see any logic in providing a reasonable way for you to handle those moments, then he does not want to care for your needs; instead he wants you to be dependent on him completely. Not a good relationship.

[Red_Arrow]

Your profile says "Just broke up". So I guess you can find a guy who does not feel so intimidated by your sexuality. Or was the "broke up" before this guy?

[BuchitaBuchys]

He was cheating on me. I can't tolerate a liar or cheater

[Red_Arrow]

Agree with you completely. Hope your next is a guy who recognizes your vibrator is a friend not his enemy. And that he can share that time with you, watching or helping. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

My friend's fiancee made her return the vibrator she bought because he felt so insecure about it. Even though she bought it for them to use together. He said she was cheating on him when she used it and that it was unnatural and not the way God intended women to be sexually pleased.

My also Christian boyfriend said that he'd rather I get my rocks off with a vibrator than with another man lol.

[BuchitaBuchys]

That's how he is! He told me that he never wants to see or hear about my vibrators again. I told him it's never gonna replace him, but he said it feels like cheating. I told him no dildo or vibrator will ever feel as good as his penis. None will ever do all the things his tongue, hands, fingers do. But he's so against me masturbating! He's also Christian.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah well I think it's more of a personal thing than a religious thing. I've only ever heard of her fiancee thinking that way. He also doesn't like it when she opens the door in lingerie or attempts to initiate sex with him. They waited until they were engaged to have sex but you would think he'd be all over that but he's not.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Yea. I don't know why he's so insecure. I've never tried to open the door in lingerie, that sounds really hot. ;) lol he's willing to fulfill my fantasies, as I try his, but masturbation is a big no-no for him. :( Which sucks because there's SOOOO many things I wanna try with him. :/

[Opinion Owner]

Don't tell him then. He can't really deny you from doing it. When he's not around... go wild haha

[Anonymous]

This is why I don't tell him that I do it ;) It's not really his business.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I was like that too. But then I just got the urge of him to join me. And to my surprise he said he didn't want me to masturbate. I told him I would fuck him senseless if I could, but we're both busy and we can't.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Now I just had all these erotic fantasies of us doing things with masturbation and I want him to give them a try, but he says he doesn't like the idea of anyone else pleasing me, even if that other person is me -_-

[soulmanUK]

Holy crap, that's horny!! What's wrong with him?
Actually, I had a partner once who couldn't reach an orgasm when we were having sex, so finished herself of afterwards. That messed with my head and I was very offended by it. But mutual masturbation or watching a girl masturbating would be really hot!!

[Prilee1992]

There are a few ways to interpret this situation:
A) He's selfish, he thought he's the king of orgasm
B) He's controlling, like the king of the house before even marriage
C) You better watch out this quality of guys.

Good Luck

[bDizzie]

It's absurd that he is jealous of the showerhead. Are you going to sleep with the showerhead? lol

His being irrational could be a sign of things to come, you might want to be careful about him.

Also, I never thought about having the girl masturbate while I kiss her neck and play with her tits. Now if I ever get a girl, I might have to try that!

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lol that is exactly what I said! I told him why would I stay with a showerhead when I can have him? I told him it's just that we see each other like every 2weeks. He works mornings, 6days/week. I work fulltime, bartender and go to school. So when he gets off work, I'm barely headed to work. And we can't really see each other because of our conflicting schedule. :/ And he loves to send me dirty texts and he knows that turns me off. I'd rather have sex with him, but he can't be there all the time so that's when I need my showerhead. I told him I only think of him, which I do. I reread the texts, and I just think about what we do during sex, how he kisses me, how he touches me. He said he kinda was addicted to masturbating when he was a teen and he was single for a while because he only wanted to masturbate. And he doesn't want that to happen to me. I told him "why would you stay with your hands when a pussy is much better?" Same with me. Why my shower when his penis is much better?

[stevie123]

I encourage my Gf to pleasure herself, with or without me.
It is a huge turn on to watch her do it, or hear her on the phone if i'm not around.
I don't know what your BF is thinking, I would want my GF to be satisfied, even if i couldn't be there.
You could try to make him come over every time you are horny, and inconvenience him.
That way he will get tired of dropping everything on a whim, and will just let you do it.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Yea but we're both busy lol I don't wanna get him fired for my excessive needs. He says he want to be the only one to satisfy me, arouse me, etc. And I tell him of course he is. I don't get turned on when I see my showerhead lol I don't even get turned when I think about it. I actually use the naughty texts we send each other that and me thinking about all we do during sex, and I just think about him as I pleasure myself. And it's always like that. So I don't know why but he says it bother him. He doesn't mind too much, but he just doesn't wanna hear about it. He said he used to be addicted to it as a teen and he was single and never wanted to stop. I said that's absurd how can a hand be better than pussy? How can my showerhead be better than his penis? lol I'm not addicted, nor near it. It's not like I do it everyday or mutliple x/day like he said he used to, I do it like 2-3x/week when he texts me naughty things or when I remember our sex or think of new fantasies for us to do.

[thisGUYknows]

That's fucking awesome... But he's gotta be open to it. Maybe send him a video of u doing it? Or will that only piss him off?

[BuchitaBuchys]

I was thinking about that. But I don't know if it will piss him off. I told him why the fuck does a damn showerhead threaten his "manhood" so much? It's not like I'm gonna deny his penis over it lol wtf -_- I told him I only think about him when I do it. Which is true. He loves to send me dirty texts about what he wants to do to me, he asks me to take racy pics for him (so I find it hard to believe that he supposedly doesn't masturbate because I've never had him flaccid when I get nude, maybe that only works in person), and I think about what our sex as I pleasure myself. I keep telling him I love him, I love his penis, I love his tongue, I love his hands, I love holding his body close to mine during passion, I even love him cumming all over me. No toy, dildo, vibrator, showerhead would ever give me all that. And even if it could, I love to please my partner too, and I can't please a showerhead back because it can't feel it lol I wanna sway him cuz I have so many fantasies. .

[chocolatedragon]

Just stuff his mouth with Buchita goodness whenever he complains about it. That's what my last gf did whenever we got in a stupid arguement. It made me shut up quite fast and it made her happy too. And yes, your bf is being unreasonable. He must really think you're not fully pleased by his performance if he's getting worried about masturbation.

[BuchitaBuchys]

You and "Buchita goodness" lol :P And I don't know why he's so hellbent against the thought of me masturbating. He says he just feels like he isn't doing the job right. I told him no, I only do it when he isn't around. It's not like after we finish having sex I go straight to the shower to finish myself off lol I tell him I love him, I love his penis, I love his hands, I love his tongue, I love holding his body close to mine during passion, I even love him cumming all over me, no toy, vibrator, dildo, showerhead could ever come close to all that! Lol And even if some magic sex toy did give me the full experience, I like to please back, a showerhead cannot feel it even if I tried haha. But he says he just wants to be the only one to satisfy me. :/ We don't see each other much, like every 2weeks, we're both busy. He works days as a mechanic, and I'm night as a bartender and have school. So our schedules conflict. So we're busy and I can't fuck him senseless like I want to whenever

[chocolatedragon]

Oh i see. But it's bad that the guy expects you to bottle up all that sexual energy until you can see him again. Masturbation is natural ans good for quick relief. Heck, his reaction still cracks me up lol. I'd ask my gf what scene she thought of when masturbating instead of telling her I'm jealous of it lol.

[Klaatu51]

who am i to tell her that she shouldn't masturbate?

[That0neGuy]

he has very unrealistic expectations if he cannot allow you to pleasure yourself, that is just how nature works, and humans are allowed to be pleasured by the thought of more than just their mate, it isn't illegal to my knowledge, or any form of cheating to use p*rn or whatever gets you off to do just that get you off.

[BuchitaBuchys]

No, I just think of him. I can't bring myself to fantasize about other men. I think about what we do, how he kisses me, how he touches me. I reread our sexy conversations and sext messages. I think about all that as I pleasure myself. But he says he just wants to be the only one to fully pleasure me. So even me pleasuring myself is a "threat" I guess. But I told him I love him, I love his penis, I love his tongue, I love his fingers, I love his body I love holding it against me as we make love, I even love him cumming all over me. And no vibrator, dildo, toy, showerhead would ever be able to give me the full experience and ever replace him. But he still doesn't like it. :/ I just have a really high sex drive and could fuck him senseless for hours if we didn't have work, school, conflicting schedules or our busy lives. :/

[That0neGuy]

and as i said he has very unrealistic expectations if he cannot allow you to pleasure yourself,

[TadCurious]

Well I don't get his position on this. He doesn't seem to understand that this is a "win-win" situation. It's actually in his interest as your boyfriend to have you jilling yourself. That means you're in touch with your sexuality and he should welcome that. You're able to communicate to him how best to pleasure you. So I don't get this guy.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Are you a Tad Curious as to why? Haha sorry, I just had to make that lame word play on your username :P Well he says it feels like he can't fully satisfy me. Which I said is ridiculous because I cum, orgasm, squirt with him all the time. I don't fake it with him and it's just that I have a really high sex drive. If I could, I'd fuck him senseless almost every chance I get. But we're both busy with work, school, conflicting schedules and we can't :/ So the next best thing for me is to masturbate while thinking about him.

[TadCurious]

@asker No problem. I love it when that happens. So what's his deal?

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lol I said why. He just feels that he wants to be the only one to satisfy me. So even me satisfying myself is bad for him. But I keep telling him I love him, I love his penis, I love his tongue, I love his fingers, I love his hands, I love holding his body against mine as we're in passion, I even love him shooting his cum all over me, and no vibrator, dildo, toy, showerhead would ever give me the complete experience as he does. But he still doesn't understand me :/

[TadCurious]

@asker He needs to accept that you're a wild mare with a free spirit that needs to run. He really should embrace this. You sound like a great girlfriend.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Wild mare is that a bad thing?

[TadCurious]

@asker No, wild mare is just a figure of speech. Not a bad thing. No offense intended. :)

[BuchitaBuchys]

Haha ok. Thanks I guess. And I am a great girlfriend if I do say so myself :P I just love to keep trying sexy and new things. I love when we fulfill each others fantasies. ;) Like fucking against the wall, such a turn on and so good. But now as I masturbated I want for him to join me or watch me. I think it'd be arousing for both of us. Especially if I stimulate my clit with my showerhead while he sucks or licks my breasts. So arousing but he's just so "anti-masturbation" bleh :P lol I don't mind trying his fantasies I just wish he'd do all of mine too. :/

[Matt2k]

No, I'm not against it. I know some girls hate the idea of their bf watching p*rn because they want their guy to only be turned on by them. He probably hates the idea of you fantasising about someone else. Tell him you think of him when you do it and he'll probably be more open to the idea. Personally, I think he sound s a bit insecure.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I do tell him I only think about him. Which I do. I tell him exactly how I get aroused rereading our sexts. Remembering our sex, the things we do, how he kisses me, how he touches me. Then I go to my showerhead because we're both very busy, if not I'd fuck him senseless. But he's so against it still. He says it feels like he's not pleasing me fully. I tell him he always is. But I just want it all the time, and time isn't on our side because of work, school, and our conflicting schedules. :/

[Matt2k]

I hear you, I'm the same, but not everyone has the same libido. If you're sexting and telling him you're thinking of him, I really don't understand his problem.

[ronnie14]

Personally i will be happy for my female partner masturbating and want us to do it together. but u must not be hard on him buchy. everyone is different. Do tryvto force it unto him but respect for it. in the mean time do your thing. the time will come when he will want to share it with you. So give him some time.

[Prof_Don]

I'm totally for my girlfriend masturbating, I'm not ALWAYS available to fuck when she has the urge 😝

[ledfoot64]

next time you two are together get naked sit on other side of room spread your legs and start to play with yourself and call his name when you start to orgasm or video yourself playing with yourself ad have him watch it and see what he says or does then

[BuchitaBuchys]

I don't know if he'd be ok with that though. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. He's really "anti-masturbation". So I don't want him getting upset with me. :/

[ledfoot64]

well then play with yourself when your alone naked

[BuchitaBuchys]

That's fun, but I'd LOVE if he joined me. It sounds so arousing if he did. :/ I have so many fantasies that would just make me melt with pleasure. Oh well :(

[genericname85]

my opinion on that is the same as for masturbating guys: if the partner can´t deal with it, too bad for him. masturbation is fine and if you expect your partner not to do it, you don´t life in the real world. if he is not interested in your sexual phantasies, he might not be the right guy for you. sexual phantasies of both partners in a relationship should be adressed and if possible at least given a try.

[Dannytellos]

You are awesome girl

[neoagent1]

Your boyfriend is ignorant. He could learn a lot about your pussy from watching you masturbate. I would want to know where to put my tongue to get the best results personally.

[BuchitaBuchys]

He's not ignorant, he just wants to be the only one to satisfy me.. He says anyone pleasing, even if it's just myself pleasing me, bothers him because he wants to be the only one, he doesn't wanna be replaced. But I told him many times I only think about him and how he pleases me when I pleasure myself. And I love him, I love his penis, I love his tongue, I love his fingers, I love holding his body against mine, I even love him cumming all over me. No toy, vibrator, dildo, showerhead, will ever replace that. But he still doesn't wanna. I just have a very high sex drive and masturbation helps when I'm missing his body because we have very busy and conflicting schedules and don't see each other often. :/

[neoagent1]

Then he's extremely selfish. being the "only one to ever please you" is ridiculous. People masturbate, it's true, I'm willing to bet money he masturbates when you're not around.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Maybe because he's always asking for nudes/racy pics of me. I asked him if he masturbates to them, and he said he quit that addiction in his teens. So I asked him wtf did he want nudes for? lol And he said "to admire them." Not sure if he's lying, but in person, he can't really control himself when I'm nude in front of him.

[jmstarling]

I am definitely in favor of my partner masturbating. It's really healthy until you reach a point that you're denying sex to your partner once you've been sexually active together.

I want to take things slow with someone, and I expect her to masturbate.

[CT_CD]

I'm against it

[Number1NoReplace]

Usually when a guy doesn't want is gf masterbating is because he feels he's not good enough like "in bed" like you wouldn't have to do that if he was "good" if you guys are in a good relationship he should at least be open to the idea

[Floridahiker]

Why does it have to be your boyfriend? Maybe you should do it with someone you don't know to see how you like it.