Virgin in the borderline of becoming a nymphomaniac?

[Anonymous]

Hi, first of I am a virgin, and I have not done much sexually related, mainly because I have got a boyfriend who lives far away, but lately I have been going out to clubs and started doing stuff with guys, two first nights, the first one i brought a random guy home, second night i went to a random guy's house, and that same night kinda hooked up with another guy and almost hooked up with a third one, and almost had sex with the guy that took me to his house but for some strange reason I stopped him before doing it, the thing is that even though I still have a high control of what I do I still want it all the time, I masturbate all the time, I think about it all the time, I have cybersex the whole time with random people, the only thing that is keeping me from losing my virginity is that my boyfriend is far away, but I am always wet, which I think is not normal, what is your opinion? I know I cannot be a nymphomaniac because I am a virgin, but do you think I heading towards it? What do you think about me doing all that having a boyfriend? Do you think I am slutty? Just desperate? Sorry it's a bit long and thanks in advance!

[Kayssa123]

Hey im also like you except i dont have a boyfriend i masterbate all the time and i lost a lot of sensitivity now so my clitoris doesn't give me strong orgasm anymore and so i dont get satisfied so for right now i am trying not to masterbate to see if my sensitivity comes back but only lasted 5 days days so right now im looking for someone that is like me and that i can hookup with when ever i feel the need to have sex and speaking to a therapist can help if this started at a young age like me (my need for sex started around 8 or 9) than you are a Nymphomaniac if not then your just extremely horny and after you have sex you may calm down u need to break up with yr boyfriend ASAP

[PinkAcid]

thats cheating, your boyfriend deserves someone faithful and honest

[Asker]

what do you think about the nymphomaniac bit?

[PinkAcid]

its normal to become obsessed with it because everyones either doing it or talking about it but once you actually lose your virginity you're left thinking wow is that it? its not even as good as masturbation feels. its not normal to be so obsessed you put yourself in danger going to complete strangers houses where you could get raped or get an std and its no excuse to cheat on your bf as you said yourself you can control it you just dont want to

[Asker]

I know there's no valid excuse for cheating, and I feel extremely bad about it, but at the same time when I am with other guys it feels so good, I know I am putting myself in danger, but that kind of makes it more exciting for me, maybe I am just going mental

[PinkAcid]

the correct thing to do is to end it with the boyfriend and you'll be free to do what you like with no judgement and no hurting your partners feelings, how would you like it if you found out your boyfriend was bringing girls home with him because he was horny?

[Asker]

I know I just wouldn't like it, and I know it is unfair for him

[lkjhg69cum]

Hit me up, I'll help you out. Hahaha... Seriously, be careful. Going to a guy's house, messing around, getting him hard and horny, getting right to the point of penetration then stopping? You are playing with fire. It's a good thing he had self. control. You are putting yourself in a rape situation, even a guy who normally wouldn't force it may lose his mind with lust. Blue balls sucks! Be very careful. You not only have to worry about the rape, but some people will do truly terrible things to cover it up. Why not get a new boyfriend closer, or fly out to meet him to lose your virginity for the weekend or something?

[Asker]

Hehehe, and yes I know it is pretty serious, that is why I am worried, I am grateful the guys were very nice, and the one with whom I almost had sex was like the friend of a friend of a friend but yes still stranger to me, but my friends knew I stayed at his, which makes it kind of safer, but I know still very dangerous, and strangely exciting, it isn't that easy breaking up with my boyfriend or flying out to meet him, since first he lives very far away, second I don't have much spare time, and third plane tickets are extremely expensive and I don't have the money

[lkjhg69cum]

Those are barriers to seeing him, not breaking up with him and having sex with someone else right?

[CuddlesWillDie]

It's not fair on you to force yourself to be loyal to a man who can't please you physically, it really doesn't surprise me that you've been feeling pretty "adventurous" because you're more than ready to hit up that road and explore your sexuality. I think you are already technically cheating already but it does sound like a bad "ball and chain" sticking with him, well, you gotta ask yourself "What do I want more?" "Is it worth dating him?" I can't decide for you but seems to me like you're feeling pretty frustrated and that ain't healthy

[Asker]

Yes, I am pretty frustrated, I mean I love him and I want to be with him, the only problem is that he isn't here, I have waited a pretty long time already and I think I am becoming more and more impatient, do you think is normal being this obsessed though?

[CuddlesWillDie]

Well it sounds like you've got moral standards and thats good, you don't want to hurt the guy, I think it might be worth telling him how you feel about the long distance relationship however (Don't tell him you've been hitting up the clubs, cyber-sexing other guys ect) but it is certainly worth mentioning that you're not happy with the situation, hopefully when you let him know ye'll be able to work something out but sounds like you might have to move on if it doesn't change (Is it a serious relationship, more than a few years?) If leaving him and finding someone who can satisfy you makes you happier, he'll let you go if he understands and cares but hopefully it won't get to that point

[Asker]

I would hate myself if I hurt him, and I know if he finds out he will probably be hurt, I just don't know how to bring it up to him, see I am not happy with the situation but I am happy with him if that makes sense, and it is pretty serious, we've been together a couple years already, all of them long distance, he does care about me a lot and he is very understanding, I know he would do anything for me, but even though he would let me go and he will seem ok with it, I know it would devastate him, when we met he had already given up on love and we have been together through a lot, he has had some tough years but we managed to overcome them together, I had pretty rough times too, I know he is perfect for me, but yes I also have physical needs, and I know he is more than able to satisfy them but distance impedes it

[CuddlesWillDie]

Well, you're not crazy, the situation is making you crazy though, this wouldn't be a problem for you at all if he was there with you satisfying your sexual hungers (It's like real hunger, the long we go unfed the more and more desperate we get, till we get to a point and say "F*ck it, i'll take ANYTHING at this stage!") Well you obviously do care about him thats good, and you feel guilty over what happened but I wouldn't blame yourself, you're sex starved and nature is getting the better of your willpower, but even on the brink of losing your virginity you still said no. If possible move in together and soon, don't blame yourself over what you've already done/whats happening but realise the situation and see that something should be done before it's too late and disaster ensues, talk to him about it anyway, maybe try to have him visit once in a while

[Asker]

I'll definitely talk to him about it, though still not quite sure how am I gonna tell him, and it is not that easy for him to come visit often since we live very far away, and plane tickets aren't cheap, moving in right now it's quite impossible, though I have already told him he could come live here, but I undertand is very difficult for him at the moment, and yes I am definitely sex starved lol, I still cannot stop feeling bad about it, I feel cheap and slutty for doing what I have done, and the worse thing is that I feel like I would do it again because it felt too good, but thank you so much for your answers it really helped me

[CuddlesWillDie]

The reason why it felt good is because a hunger was being satisfied, but then you realised that it wasn't healthy for your relationship, but yeah like one user said, join up with your BF for a weekend and go at it like rabbits, that actually sounds like it would work, maybe take out a temporary loan to get plane tickets, I hope ye guys work it out though, good luck with it

[Asker]

I will have to see what I can do, I will talk to him about it, thanks a lot!

[OmniSlug]

First off... having a boyfriend and cheating on him with several guys? NOT. COOL. Cybersex DOES count, YES.

Secondly, if you have a higher than normal sex drive, you should talk to your doctor. He might be able to help you get it under control, so you stop doing such STUPID, STUPID things.

[Asker]

I know it is cheating, that is why I feel so bad, and can a doctor really help?

[AustinMan]

Girlfriend, you need to tell your bf that you just can't handle this long distance thing anymore and if he wants to be your bf, it's not gonna be exclusive. They safely go do what you need to do. I'm sure he'll be unhappy but that's life.

[Asker]

And I will probably be unhappy too, because I know that after doing it I would still feel bad because I hurt him and hurt myself alwell by doing that

[AustinMan]

What price, glory? It sounds to me like it clearly needs to happen so bite the bullet and do it.

[Asker]

I know it has to happen, but I don't think I want it to happen with just a random guy I met in a random club

[AustinMan]

We're talking about breaking up with the bf. That's step 1. Then who you choose to have sex with is another issue entirely.

[Daniela1982]

So you are basically a cheat. Congratulations! I don't think, if you are truly a nympho, that you could actually be faithful to one man so having a boyfriend is out. He would be the one that was desperate to hang with you. As for believing you are a virgin?

But it was a nice bedtime story.

[thisGUYknows]

Wow. U definitely are one, or at least will be. Break up with your bf. Maybe u can settle down with one u have access too daily. Better to be a nympho with one guy than many

[Asker]

Nymphos eventually cannot be satisfied with just one guy, that is why I am worried, and it is not that easy breaking up with my boyfriend, but I know I do need someone close by to satisfy me physically

[thisGUYknows]

Well then I guess you're only looking for open relationships? Or none?

[Asker]

Maybe :/

[KBob93]

Have you ever given oral at least?

[Asker]

No, probably the most extreme thing I have done is being fingered and masturbating a guy

[KBob93]

Ohhh, so getting a handy from a guy.

[Asker]

Yes, that's the furthest I have gone

[KBob93]

I'd say you just draw a line where your boundaries are.

[Asker]

What do you mean with that?

[KBob93]

Know what you're willing to do & what you're not willing to do.

[Asker]

The thing is that I shouldn't do anything if it isn't with my boyfriend

[KBob93]

So did you meet your bf online?

[Asker]

No, I didn't

[decemberxblue]

You have a boyfriend and you're hooking up with other men, sexting with other men. Do I think you're slutty? I'm sure you know the answer.

Unless your desire affects your day-to-day living you're "normal."

[Asker]

It kind of affects my day-to-day living, and yes I know the answer

[PhiOmega]

No, your not a slut, obviously you still care about how u affect others, I say drop this guy ur with and find someone you can explore with Sexually, it's much safer to keep it to one guy

[Asker]

I know it is much safer keeping it to one guy, that is why I don't wanna break up with my boyfriend, with him I kind of stay under control

[PhiOmega]

I guess but, if he can't fulfill ur needs u might need a new guy

[Asker]

Probably :/

[PhiOmega]

It's completely up to whatever you feel is best

[Asker]

Or whatever is the best

[ColourExplosion]

great and cool story.

so, what is my opition :

continue like that ! there should be more like you !

[Asker]

thanks I guess, but if it was so great and cool, why do I feel so bad? And do you think I'm heading towards becoming a nymphomaniac?

[ColourExplosion]

because you are young, and you seek on the internet for help, witch is quite the last thing you should do...

[Asker]

Maybe it is that last thing I should do, but, in my situation it seems like a great thing to do right now

[Cómoestás]

Nymphomaniac is unsexy

[Asker]

Do you think I am heading towards it?

[Cómoestás]

If you keep it up, then you might have sex with a stranger. So Yeaa This is also cheating and being unfaithful to your boyfriend.

[KBob93]

@comoestas what do you find sexy out of a girl?

[Cómoestás]

Someone who doesn't give their body away

[Cómoestás]

@Kbob93 And people who act upon sexy, not forcing it. If you force it, it doesn't become attractive

[KBob93]

I used to be like that until 19. Unfortunately that's gone. Still a virgin though.

[Asker]

I know I might end up having sex with a stranger, or strangers, I know it's cheating but I just don't know what to do, I am pretty obsessed with it

[Cómoestás]

You use to give your body away? @kbob93

[KBob93]

What do you mean by "give my body away?" In the sense that I was molested, and forced to give head to someone whom I didn't want to, no. @comoestas

[Cómoestás]

@Kbob93 No one deserves to go through hell like that :( Asker, You could try masturbating more? Maybe find a way to control your urges before the situation gets out of hand.

[Asker]

I already masturbate a lot, but it doesn't help

[Cómoestás]

How can masturbating not relieve sex urges? It always does for me. And is there anyway to calm the urges not doing sexual activites?

[Asker]

Well it does calm me for a bit, but then I want more

[Cómoestás]

Draw the line when you have a sexual active partner accompying you. Explore yourself more when you masturbate. Buy a sex toy also if you can't control it much anymore.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[JackSk3llington]

I don't really care man... If u wanna fuck everyone. Than just do it. Nobody cares.

[Asker]

If you don't care about it then don't answer nor read it, thanks