Why does my boyfriend not want anything sexual from me anymore?

[Anonymous]

It's coming up to 9 months of being with my bf and we started doing stuff like handjobs, blowjobs etc 3 months in and he was so into it (we'd end up doing something everytime we saw each other, he ended up having a bj a day for 4 days before he went away on holiday) and we'd always be all over each other. The past month I hadn't done stuff for him but he had for me, he thought it was only benefiting me and unfair. Three weeks ago we were about to have sex for the first time but we couldn't because I had an appointment and afterwards he wasn't feeling it/mood had gone - I hate how we can only do stuff when he's feeling it and I feel it's kind of selfish. The next three weeks would be like normal hanging out and then getting excited to see each other at the weekend but we suddenly stopped doing stuff and end up fighting or having the talk where we would consider breaking up but it would never happen. The last time we fought was because I didn't know what was up with him. We were perfectly fine and it felt like how it was at the start, no problems but he didn't want to do stuff? It's like he's not into it anymore. Is it me? Do I not make him feel excited anymore? Getting boring maybe? I went back to his the other day after we had been out and we'd had such a good time where I think we both felt we had sorted things out finally. It was normal again such as kissing with legs wrapped around etc but after dry humping he wouldn't do anything else (I know it can be sore for the guys but he initiated it and wanted that) why would he choose that when there are already handjobs or blowjobs on offer? When I asked him why he didn't want to do anything lately he said because family were in the house even though that's never stopped him before, after realizing it was a poor excuse he then said it was just "bad timing" what does this mean? Does the problem lie with it being me or him and is there a way I can fix this and get him back to being as horny as before?

[Grumar]

Well first thing I noticed your age really shows when you consider someone not having sex with you just because they aren't in mood makes them selfish? Um no other way around trying to make someone do something they don't want just cause do is super selfish and maybe the guy is Just nervous.. Although with you doing oral and handies that probably isn't it.. my best advice back of let him come to you with sexual advantages lat thing you want is to feel forced into something like sex..

[Asker]

It's not sex, I don't want to do that or anything new. I'm more worried that we aren't doing the stuff we normally do

[summiter]

It sounds like you both should talk about it. Are you guys virgins? Does he jerk off a lot? That could be why he hesitated the one time. I think you should find the right time and the right place and have some un-rushed fun. If it leads to sex (have plenty of condoms ready) then go for it. He may feel uncomfortable in his place. Do you have any other options? hotel room for one night?

[Najii]

Just tell him you simply need sex. Don't fight with him about it but maybe while your making out with him.

[Tractorbeam]

It sounds like he's not really into you. Maybe women aren't his type.
I've never refused sex once in any relationship. Open for business. 24 x 7. It didn't even matter if I'd been working 20 hour days all week, I was never to tired or "not in the mood".

[PhoebeCaulfield]

He is breaking up with you.