Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Girlfriend is only 4'11, her vagina is extremely small and tight and sex is painful. How can I help loosen it up and make sex less painful for her?

When I first enter her she either complains that it hurts or I end up noticing that she is obviously wincing in a lot discomfort. She has told me that when my penis initially enters her it is rather painful, like a burning sensation and like it is stretching apart and tearing inside. Apparently the pain gradually goes away after a few minutes and she can feel her vagina loosening up to accommodate me but during these few minutes she makes me remain stationary and I can't thrust because it hurts. This kind of kills the mood for both of us, I loose my erection sometimes and I know it turns her off and frustrates her so it definitely is impacting our sex life. She has orgasmed with me once the pain has subsided or with the help of some alcohol but generally speaking she always experiences intense pain whenever we start having sex and it is a massive turn off to me and annoying for us both because I wan't her to enjoy it without this problem. Before anyone asks, yes she is sufficiently lubricated as I always go down on her before intercourse for a good ten minutes. Anyway, she is upset and embarrassed about this and doesn't think her body is normal. I have tried comforting her over the situation but she is convinced that she is too small and abnormally tight and not capable or 'suited' to being with guys that aren't short and petite like her. Well I certainly wouldn't say that I'm 'well endowed'. I'm probably about average or just below (around 6 inches) but I would say that I'm above average in the thickness/width department. Even still I can't see how this would make sex this painful for her. It's not like she is a virgin and she has told me that her previous ex partner who was only 5'5 had a slightly smaller penis, width-wise at least and that although sex was still a bit painful initially, it didn't hurt as much as it does with me. This clearly tells me that she is way too petite and tight for me. Can anyone with experience suggest how to help her with this?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I find the more relaxed she is, the more turned on, the more foreplay, the better and easier the sex is. She could have a shallow vagina. She might no be producing enough natural lube. Take you time, do it right and you both can enjoy it so much more.

    I find that if you take the slow romantic route it is better for her. Put her in a hot/warm bath, use some salts or "Calgon" or Epson Salts. A nice light floral scent and if you are of age, some wine or a light mixed drink. Some soft music and dim or candle lighting. Take out her feet, one at a time. Wash them. massage them. Wash her back and use that as an excuse to extend the massage to her neck and shoulders. Stray away from nipple and vaginal/clitoral contact. After she has soaked and had a drink and massage, help her stand up. Pat her dry with a comfortable soft towel. Lead her to the bed room. Make it all about her. Lick and kiss her body. Worship her. Touch, massage and play with her pubic mound and outer lips. Lick and kiss them - stay away from the man in the boat. It is much to early. Lick, blow, suck, nibble on the delicate inner upper thighs, tease her. Lightly touch her with fleeting touches with your finger tips. Stare in to her eyes. Kiss her. Tease the breasts but don't latch on to her nipple or tongue them... yet. Is she a little damp? Keep on going, Perform oral sex on her, slowly insert a finger. Be gentle, a little at a time. Slowly knuckle by knuckle. Half inch and stop, let her get used to - make sure your tongue is still at work on her folds Maybe use a vibe or egg on her outer lips or clit - where ever your mouth isn't. Insert the tip of the vibe. Move it in circles, shake it back and forth. In and out, slowly but a little deeper each time. While you are doing this take note of her bodies reactions. Sounds, shakes... Then when it comes to the point of sex, let her be on top, in control. Then it is out of your hands. Make sure you make her cum, or any girl, before you attempt penetration.

  • Put her up top with lots of lube and foreplay. Let he control the penetration. Don't let her quit until she has it fully in. I had a gf that size and while it was hard to take at first, we eventually made it work great

Most Helpful Girls

  • Maybe she suffers from vaginusmus. It happens with girls when they experience fear of what is coming, in her case it's pain. She is already anticipating the pain and basically subconsciously blocking herself. But it could also be physical. Best for her to talk to her doctor!

    From wikipedia: According to Ward and Ogden's qualitative study on the experience of vaginismus for women (1994), the three most common contributing factors to vaginismus are fear of painful sex; the belief that sex is wrong or shameful (often the case with patients who had a strict religious upbringing); and traumatic early childhood experiences (not necessarily sexual in nature).

  • I used to be the same! I'm also 4'11 and at first whenever I had sex it would hurt pretty bad and even my partner said that it was so tight it kind of hurt him. What he'd do is when he'd go down on me he'd also finger me for a while to try stretch me out a little. It'd help a little bit but honestly what worked best was to just keep having sex. Now when he enters me it isn't painful just slightly uncomfortable but after a few thrusts it's alllll good.

  • You can always get a lubricant that numbs her slightly. I also experience this bc im pregnant and it hurts. I still feels really good when im intamiant with my bf and I still get off but it takes the edge off. And eventually im not even thinking about it and it doesn't hurt anymore. Also four play does wonders. More the. 10 tens go down on her until she gets off and then she should be ready.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

What is it about sex that keeps you comming back for more?
What part of your body do you dislike the most?
Can a rich man fuck any woman he wants?
Should I be concerned that I got a boner seeing my cousin in a swimsuit?

What Girls & Guys Said

5 3

  • One of my fav girls was 4'11 also, and very tight.
    It was hard entering her initially, but not painful, just uncomfortable, until we got going.
    I would say use some extra lube, astroglide or KY, just to make entry even easier.
    Keep going at it, she will stretch some after a while.

  • Ask her to see her gyno doc. If she's really too tight (and the fault is not in insufficient arousal levels) it can be remedied by dilator.

  • First, height has nothing to do with female organs. Secondly I would encourage her to speak to a doctor, preferably and OBY if she's experiencing any discomfort during intercourse.

  • I am currently seeing a girl who is 4 ft 10. I am very well-endowed and I leave penetration until we have been sexually active for about 30 minutes. It isn't a problem for us.

    • That's probably because you are only 5 ft 3' yourself, though...

    • Haha no I am 5 ft 9 ish :)

  • im just like that, really short and tight. i just needed some "breaking in" so to speak

  • the burning is because you tearing her skin, just finger her a lot before you put it in. it helped with me and my bf

    • Unless you're a doctor who's seen this girl and examined her I don't see how you can come to that conclusion.

    • Im a girl and this has happened to me... to the question asker. finger her for 20 minutes and keep adding a finger till you get to about you penis size. once youve put it on her you'll notice that nothing burns or hurts.

    • i never knew what the burning was so i checked once he was finished and i had tears/bleeding in my opening. it hasn't happened since he started stretching me out. you dont need to be a dr to figure that out

  • This happen to me before, I would suggest getting some sex toys and play around with her. This helped me a lot! That will help open up her muscles a bit. Also when your playing with the toys use your penis afterwards for a bit which will help her, you will begin to see progress. Your a sweet boyfriend, continue to take your time and she will groom into your sex kitten :)

  • Use lube and stretch her out (make sure she is relaxed and not squeezing and flinching)

Latest Questions

Guys, what makes a guy who's in a relationship think it's ok to watch porn after saying he'll stop? ?
New positions in bed?
Can a man have sexual intercourse with a woman he doesn't like?
Ever fantasized about a teacher?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Girlfriend is only 4'11, her vagina is extremely small and tight and sex is painful. How can I help loosen it up and make sex less painful for her?