My Girl ISN'T aggressive during bed?

I'm being honest here, I've slept with plenty of other women... some aggressive. I like it when women are aggressive. However the girl of my dreams, soon to be my wife isn't aggressive in bed. I have to do all of the work. She tells me she loves sex but it doesn't make more sense why she isn't into it? I have to initiate I have to do it all. I have to change the position etc. I've tried it all, letting her come on to me (She doesnt:she got sad and asked why we haven't done it in a while.) i've straight up told her: "id like it if you were more aggressive for our sex life." She says okay, but it never happens. I almost think she still feels insecure. She has gone on about how my penis is too big. I've measured i'm 9'11 yes i'm black. Anyways. Help please i don't know how to get her to be more aggressive it doesn't add up. Should I thrust less or? We've had sessions up to 1 hour... and i'm still doing it all. I feel as if I deprive her of it she will only feel insecure HALP
Should I just keep bothering her about it until she decides to be?
Vote A
Or should I just let her be aggressive and deprive her of sex?
Vote B
Something Else? Comments please.
Vote C
Or leave it be, because my fetish is gone.
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
sex* XD fail heading.
+1 y
All She just told me was that she gets hurt too often and her tummy feels enflamed for a day and she can't walk. I'm really not trolling... 100% real. I've seen it.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think that you should talk to her about it. I dont mean bug her about it and keep nagging about how you want this that and the other thing done. I mean talk to her about how you really feel and ask her how SHE feels. Ask her if she is uncomfortable or if she is insecure and if she is that she doesn't have to be. Maybe she just isn't an agressive person in bed, some people are just kinda boring. I've never slept with anyone so Im not even sure how that whole thing works, but what I do know is that you have to be considerate of everyone's feelings or else people get hurt or feel unvalued..

  • Doesn't make sense. If she's overwhelmed can't handle the size, that's be a reason to want to take control so she doesn't get hurt. Letting you control things when she ends up in pain ha completely counter productive as compared to controlling things so she's not in pain.

    If I was iflamed there's NO WAY id let the guy strake control.

    Is it possible she doesn't actually want to have sex bc it is painful, and that's why she doesn't initiate it, but doesn't want to hurt you if disappoint you so she just lets you do your thing?

    • Yeah, i'm with you there on that. However I don't think she dislikes it much. But then again I will have to ask, thanks for the comment though helpful.

    • sure,. good luck:)

  • There are many things wrong with the picture. You need to try different positions so she dosent get hurt, talk about you sexual fantasies were so she understands the picture, and just compliment her here and there so she gains confidence and after having sex point out the the enjoble things that she took control in.
    www.sofeminine.co.uk/.../...arge-penis-d49853.html will help so the end of her vagina gets penetrated properly.

    • haha, i'll check this out, thank you

    • I think in her mind riding is aggressive.. you can explain why talking that it's much more than that.. it about slightily nipping on the dick, dirty talking, lap dancing./.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Hm... it sounds like she's a sub. Also it sounds like you two need to sit down and talk through it; not to agree but to understand. So that you can explain how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you would like. And so she can explain how she feel, why she feel that way, and what she would like.
    That way you two will better understand eachother's opinions!

    • May I ask what you mean by sub.

    • it means she's submissive. She preffers to recieve, rather than give.

  • Clearly the two of you aren't making any progress toward resolving this. I'd get in touch with a couple's therapist that specializes in sexual practices. One important question: are either or both of you kinky?

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 1
  • So she doesn't satisfy your expectations fully? It's her temper I believe, it may not change at all. All you can do is let her feel hottest woman in the world, then she may get warmer in that, sexual, way. Maybe it is your expectations that bother her, she feels compared with somebody else. That may really destroy sexual appetite.

    • EVe heyyyyy!!!

  • I hate lazy people in bed. I've been with a guy like that to, I ended that of course. I love to give but I also love to receive back! It's extremely frustrating!

    You have to sit with here and have a serious dicussion how this effects you and your relationship. Because an unhappy life can destroy a relationship. You need to make her understand that and you both need to compromise. It seems you do comprimise and she doesn't.

    It's not like you're forcing things on her, you just want her to be more active during sex. And dick size is no excuse for being lazy in bed. I'm sorry but my ex was your size (he was white by the way lol) so I KNOW that that's a bullshit excuse.

  • You should sit down and communicate what you're feeling. Without communication, nothing will get resolved. Can't speak with little sentences and inderect communication. You want to try and see how she's feeling about it. Either she doesn't realize, get what you really want or you need to get her to talk about what she's thinking/feeling about it.

  • i think she is seriously overwhelmed by a huge dick and don't know how to deal with it.

  • Try wrestling her, and then let her win, maybe she'll get turned on and start acting more self-confident.

  • Here is the deal u have to be on the same page on this. Sorry but sex os what makes your union unique not a friendship. It is for LIFE.

    Here is the advice I give to my married friends...

    Make her want it!!!
    Make her beg for it!!!
    Ask her how bad she wants it!!!
    What she wants to do to it!!!
    Tell her to show with only her mouth how she wants to fuck you.
    Prove with your mouth how much you want it!
    It isn't fun for me if you aren't really into it
    I love you and I can not feel like I am disrespecting you.
    I need you to really be down for me.
    Know there are other ways to arouse her with touch hair pulling massage and playing with her breasts you can be aggressive just take her to the edge don't actually hurt her. Make her feel good and wanted all over and she will want to do oral. I dated a black guy!!! Yes he was hung!!! Yes it was a challenge but with the right amount of magic it could be handled!!! It isn't the size it is the artistry in the way you spin the magic!!

  • C. As long as she is compliant and un-inhibited, why should it matter? Nothing wrong with asking and coaching so long as you know she will do what you ask