Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend wants to try anal sex?

I'm very concerned that it's going to hurt.. The conversation I had with him also worries me, he's a gentlemen and the sweetest guy outside the bedroom and he treats me like an princess. We only started having vaginal sex 3 weeks ago and it's been good after the first time. Last night I was chatting with him online and our convo went like this; Him:Next time I'll see you we'll have a wild time, we'll do anal too. Me: Well maybe Him:Not maybe I'm the man and you're the girl. So you'll just lay there and take it ;). I don't know if he was just joking but I feel a little scared. I'm worried he has just watched too much p*rn and will just go straight in and do me hard. I don't think that's how it goes in real world. I'm his first sex partner btw. I don't really know what to do. Should I do it? Does it hurt bad?
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Obviously he IS really interested in anal, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to. It is okay for you to say "no".

    If you are curious and willing, then, IMO, you need to talk about it first. p*rn is NOT real life, and a lot of prep goes on off-camera that you don't see before p*rn girls have anal ON camera. Without that prep, and without experience, it would likely be painful at least.

    Read my post here, which is my quick guide to first-time anal sex. Talk it out with him, and make sure he understands that the first few times, YOU are in charge and it's all about YOUR experience, and if he goes slow and follows your direction, then you may well come to really like it, at which time it can start to be as much about him as it is about you.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1186154-anal-for-the-first-time

    IMO, if he displays any selfish behavior, then you should stop things immediately.

  • he was probably thinking that was 'dirty talk' that would 'turn you on.'

    But yes, you want to emphasize caution. And if you don't want to try it, don't. You will not like it if you don't want to - that's universal. More than anything, he'll want you to like it. Even if he doesn't know that, he's going to want you to like it so much that you'll even ask for it. But that isn't going to happen if your first experience was nothing but pain. He needs to understand this.

    Also, relaxation is the key to anal sex.

    • Thanks for the advice.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Tell him you don't want to do it now. That you aren't ready. That you don't feel like it. He's probably playing dominant. .. sounds like a thing my guy would say, but never do. If that's thow he is, he will understand you. Don't ever do what you don't want to. - and if you enentually decide to do it, teach him that it must be slow and caring... like reeeeeeally slow.

  • Um, anal with a guy that dose not know what he is doing is terrible. If he is getting his tips from p*rn it won't work. I like anal but my husband is gentle and thoughtful. I have used a vibe on him so he has a good idea if what I go through. But he likes that kind of play too

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 17

  • Let me ask you a couple of questions: 1) if anal hadn't been mentioned, how would you have reacted to his cave man routine? Some women love it, others not so much. Where do you come down on it. 2) If you could have anal relatively comfortably, would you do it?

    • 1) been shocked probably 2) yes if it wasn't too painful I would

    • shocked just because it's out of his character a little

    • Sometimes a man just wants to assert himself as a man and in part to gauge his woman's reaction. Some love it. As for anal, it's doesn't have to be painful. If you'll message me where we have more space to type, I'll share what I've learned in hopes of helping you find a great first time anal experience.

  • Done right it does not hurt at all. Done wrong some describe it as having a hot poker shover up your arse (though i guess that's a bit of an exaggeration).
    But you should sit down with him and talk about it, get educated, and figure HOW to do it safely and without any pain.

    • a bit? that's a complete exaggeration. Since we're using "things shoved up your arse" as an analogy, you don't need to substitute any object. Just saying a hard dick would be a sufficient description :-P

    • True that... going in try is a very effective way to end up getting your jaw dislodged XD seriously though, you don't just randomly try anal. It takes preparation beforehand, planning, and knowledge on how to practice it safely. Also it requires patience and preparation of the girl, or else it will hurt.

  • Girls have told me mixed things. But some definitely say it hurts and they don't like it. I personally don't see it as "romantic." I also am not a fan of texting because you can't tell what tone of voice he's telling you to "lay there and take it" in.

    Also keep in mind that he may end up thinking "no condom needed as she wouldn't get pregnant" but keep in mind anal sex is one of the riskiest methods when it comes to catching HIV. So while I notice you are not exactly high number people on your partner counts just keep in mind that if he has HIV that this is one of the easiest ways to catch it.

  • From my past lays, all the girls say anal hurts, so expect some pain

  • Yep, he must be watching too much p*rn. Better tell him to go to church and confess...

    upload.wikimedia.org/.../...BrownOriginalCover.jpg

    My wife won't go for anal. She says she will get a strap on and do me first. Have him try a finger first. Tell him you want analingus first before he gets near you butt. Tell him he had better do a good job with his tongue too!! Good luck!

  • If he didn't just plow ahead with vaginal, I'd assume he's less likely to with anal, but you never know.

    • I hope so. Thanks.

  • it sounds like his texts were in a joking manner, based on the wink

    I think you should have a verbal conversation with him next time you see him. express your concerns and find out his plans for dealing with and soothing those concerns. and ultimately if you aren't ready for it or not interested express those feelings to him

  • that's kind of nasty, and you should clean your ass real good if you agree. don't want any shiet to get on his dick.

  • He was joking, and it does sound like he watches too much p*rn. You tell him that under no circumstances are you going to do anal right now, and if you do decide to do anal, he needs some education on how to do it right. You never 'jam it in' like you see in p*rn. You educate yourself on successful anal sex as well.

    • Thanks for the help!

  • Seems a bit soon to be trying things like that...

    Keep it romantic and fun for a while before you try anything like that!

  • It does not go straight in. You spend a lot of time loosening it up with fingers and toys, and then, only then, and if you feel ready, does he get to put his dick in, with a ton of lube on it. You go extremely slowly. Push out with your muscles like you're going to the toilet, that makes it easier. It is also best if he remains still and you push back against him so you control how much and how quickly.

    • Thank you so much!!

  • I totally agree with him. He's a man and you need to satisfy his needs. Even if it hurts, just hold up and let him cum inside your ass...

  • There are 2 types of Guys:

    1- Ones who love to do a girl in her ass and admit it

    2- Ones who love to do a girl in her ass but doesn't admit to it

  • Go Slow, Make Sure He Eases It In, No Need To Spit And Shove.
    Your Asshole Will Stretch And Easily Accommodate His Cock, It Will Start To Loosen And Anal Will Feel Great. Once It Feels Good, HE Can Start To Slowly Fuck Faster.

  • Yes it hurts like hell but it can also be pleasurable if done right.

  • I love anal play (including sex). I really wanted to try and have anal sex due to p*rn and wanting to explore. So here is my advice since I have been on both sides of the fence.

    You and your boyfriend have been having sex for only three weeks. You both (I think that is what was said) were virgins. Slow down. Take it easy. Learn what you both like before moving on. Enjoy touching, feeling, licking, sucking. Try some toys, enjoy them fingers. Most of all learn to communicate with each other.

    How bad does he want to try anal sex on you? I mean a lot of men say it just so that they can say they F'd you up your arse. Some just want to see if you will let them while others truly do want to know the joys.

    I was a little of all them groups. I was with a girl that was not an anal virgin. I thought it was my lucky day. I asked and what she said set me off on a whole different style.

    Basically, while going down on me and fingering herself, she used those same fingers to push and slide inside of my butt hole causing to explode instantly. At first I was pissed. Then I noticed I was still rock hard. Maybe a little harder then a moment ago. I asked her, "What the Fuck?" and she said you want to have anal with me? I smirked. Turns out she wanted me to treat her back door the same way I do the front. Play with it, lick it, finger it, use toys then finally entering it. Using my own spit and a some lube, I was finally buried balls deep. After it was over and done with, she said "Did you like that?" I replied that I had - a lot, and she smirked and simply said, "Your turn!" and pushed me onto my back raised my legs and gave that backdoor oral. At first I was shocked and then turned on. I was literally dripping pre-ejaculate as she went down on my especially when she started fingering me and then finished with a small vibe.

    • The orgasm was intense. As time went on a lot less lube was needed although always used. The toys worked up to a strap on then finally a threesome. Her motto is if you want it bad enough you will treat it like you do her vagina. They both deserve the same treatment. Either way, regardless of what you choose to do, be comfortable, relax, push out while he is pushing in (SLOWLY) and be sure there is a lot of lube and communication is key to any relationship. If he wants to enter you anally he should at least accept a finger in his! or be willing to. Best of luck and enjoy.

  • Yeah, he has no clue what he is doing and you need to know what you are both doing and the preperation that goes into good quality and healthy anal sex. Anal sex is not something they teach you in school, nor is it something you learn how to do just from watching a lot of p*rn. Which it sounds like he watches a ton. He sounds immature and inexperienced, because the first time you you have anal sex the girl should not just lay there and take it. You should be controlling his penis and communicating with him how you are feeling once it is inside your butt, letting him know to stop if its too much or continue if it feels good. You don't just decide to ram you dick into your girlfriend's ass. Thats not how anal work! Lol, tell him ok but you will try it when you are ready and that you both need to do your research on it first.

    • Thanks!

    • You are welcome! My girlfriend of almost three years and I have great analmsex and we both enjoy it a lot! It is a special thing for us though. It is not something we do everytime we have sex. Occasionally she will tell me to put it in her ass while we are having vaginal sex and she will have me cum inside her that way. That is when she is really horny and in the mood. Most of the time there is a lot of foreplay and build up before we have anal, because the asshole is not the natural hole for having sex. It can definitely be amazing for both parties though.

  • Be prepared to kick the shit out of him if he tries to do something you're not ready for.

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