Sexual Relationships
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Should I be let down and mad if I my girlfriend didn't give me a blowjob on my birthday?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. Yesterday was my birthday and I will say, she made quite an effort for it to be a special day for me. She helped plan for some friends to come into town, helped get supplies for a party and made sure that I wasn't doing chores, etc. She also got me a nice pair of shoes, and other material gifts. When all the friends left, and we were all alone once again, it was time. Time for what men wait for all year: birthday sex. I think my expectation wasn't that high, just sex with the birthday boy being the center of attention, and definitely, at least for a few minutes, oral sex. It started like it always does. I actually went down on her for a while. But from start to finish, at no point was I the only focus of attention, at no point was there a blowjob. She knows, as it has been a topic of discussion in the past, that I want more blowjobs. I figured at least I could expect one on my birthday. Of course, not meeting my expectations led to disappointment which I could not hide. When I couldn't hide my disappointment, she knew the problem immediately and she became defensive, saying that I shouldn't expect blowjobs at any time. Regardless of it was my bday. She also added that she prefers if I'm fresh out of the shower first. I totally get that- but- being my birthday, maybe tell me to go take a quick shower bc i have a surprise for you... What do I do here? Am I being selfish for picking out the one thing she didn't do to make me feel special? Or, is she wrong for ignoring my sexual desires because she "doesn't like giving blowjobs" in general and especially on my birthday?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • you can feel how you like, but fact of the matter is you've been with a woman four 3 years whim you know doesn't like bjs. that was YOUR CHOICE. its cowardly to stuck with her then hold it against her bc ;'even on your b day' she turns out to be the same person she always was.

    if you want someone who likes bus, or who will do it even though they hate it. go find them.

    this culture is way typo caught up in ' if you really love me you'll do things you hate' or prove you love me by being uncomfortable. its sick.

    anyhows she is who she is. take it per leave it. you obviously like her enough that you got on without the bjs... not being into bjs is part of what makes her her. if you like her consider that. if she gave bjs even though she hates it, shed be a diff person.

    she's not a potato head. you can't pick and choose pieces you like dont like. she's her. and the person she is doesn't do things she's uncomfortable with sand doesn't expect it to be demanded. thats what makes her her. jot might be inconvenient for some things bu if you like who she is then you should be glad in a sense that she is how she is.

    its like when someone says they want a tough person who doesn't cling or expect too much. then they turn around and get upset bc the person isn't affectionate.

    you chose her./ you want her or you dont,

    she's not comfortable with bjs. this is about her being in control of her body. not about screwing up your b day.,

    stay opt get out but dont hope shell change. you got what you went after. three years ago.

  • You can feel disappointed and I get why you would, but in reality, you know she doesn't like it and hardly does it, so maybe next time don't expect it too much.
    You can't exactly be pissed off about it or anything, because she made her decision and that's it, not much you can do.

  • I think she should have at least on your birthday. And if she doesn't start giving you blowjobs more often , stop giving her oral sex a lot. Show her how it feels. And ESPECIALLY, don't do it on her birthday if she didn't do it to you. Unfair treatment.

    • Well stated. I personally would leave her as that is simply boring, selfish and isn't worth the time of day to any guy with any form of confidence that is based on realism. That said, someone such as yourself (@rdxoxo) obviously get it and understand what makes men tick so I always appreciate seeing attractive girls who do as it reminds me of many things (not in a sexual manner that is).

Most Helpful Guys

  • I saw a childhood BF-GF turned into love & marriage break up over this
    it drove him crazy, be he rather selfish, spoiled growing up
    but so was she (same privileged neighborhood) and too shy to go out in public sometimes

    I would say that 3 years was too big an investment in this gal - this is obviously the most she can give you = her limit, so accept it or go shopping, dude.

    That said, I was reading a book long ago some prostitute wrote. What is the most ordered sex act on your menu she was asked. A: whatever they can't get from their GF/wife. In those days, it was BJs but that pendulum has swung over time.
    So what I saying is... once you find that gal that loves giving BJs at snap of fingers... guess what? You'll crave that one thing she hates to give OR worse... can't physically give (e. g. cowgirl due to a) bad hip b) no pleasure to her).

    That's how we are played in this ironic world my friend.
    Voluptuous breasted but no cowgirl
    A giver in all things except BJs

    If you're not married, dude you are free to scratch itches not scratched by one single gal, so go shopping scratch that itch and see what's worth it and what's not for future reference

  • Hmm. I think not having a shower at the end of the day may be the key here. Making the deed as pleasant and as enjoyable as possible is the least we can do. I fault you for not having a shower. This may be one of issues of why she doesn't like it. It can be embarrassing to talk about. I think you would have gotten your BDBJ if you showered. I think you should be honest with her. Tell her how disappointed you where because that is what you wanted the most. Tell her how much you appreciate what she did for you that day and tell her you were wrong to start an argument over that. Tell her you would love to shower up next time if she was willing.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 5

  • Well wait for her bday and dont go down on her. Gauge results. That or start hinting for your next birthday you and all your guy friends might go to Vegas... then casualy mention the prostiution laws in Nevada.

    • What that it's still illegal except in a couple of Podunk counties in the desert that are far from anywhere worth going. Plus it's ridiculously expensive

  • Seriously? This is an issue? If the girl doesn't want to give oral, never force her, no matter what the occassion is.

  • no you shouldn't be. its still her body and she can do as she wants with it, and she can say no to Blow J's. bf/gf is not obligated to do sexual anything to each other.

  • um, are you not putting her feelings into thought? She feels uncomfortable doing it. How would you like if she kept pressuring and forcing you to do something she's uncomfortable with? It's her choice, you should think of her feelings as well, not only your own.

  • I know you pain, man - I never got birthday sex in my LTR.

    It doesn't sound like you're sexually compatible. You like and crave stuff and she's not prepared to do it to make you happy, even as a special treat. She has no problem receiving oral, of course, and knows that no BJs is making you unhappy and DOESN'T CARE.

  • Yeah, she draws a line in the sand so should you

    • Yes he could also stop going down on her lol an eye for an eye? Lol

  • I don't know why but I did this to be kind of a cute & sad lol

  • Maybe this is just me but I think you should tell women what you want, and I guess it works both ways, communication is key. If you wanted a blow job you should have told her to do it, and I'm not saying to force her but tell her what you want, gotta be assertive with these biches. People will say I'm wrong but I haven't been so far when telling women what I want, being respectful of course.

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