Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why does my best guy friend suddenly want to cuddle, put his arm around me, hold my hand in between his and call me sweetie?

He has a girlfriend and we are supposedly just friends. He doesn't act like this with any other girls. He told me last summer I was his other favorite person, besides gf. Is he trying to hit on me or just being a pal? He still sees his gf once a week for sexy time but if he and I are together his eyes are always on me, either staring hard at me or going from my eyes to my mouth to my chest and back again, like he's trying to figure out where to take a first bite, lol! He's always telling me when they have sex and how he's buying condoms, etc. He and I have a stormy relationship and fight a lot. He gave me food he'd made as a peace offering, then told me the gf made it! He loves to provoke me and I pretend that I'm going to punch him or choke him because he's being annoying on purpose. I think he likes the spark that we have. We basically have staring contests all the time. We've never kissed but he gets almost nose to nose with me a lot. Yesterday we were on a bus trip and he invited me to sit with him so we could cuddle (a first) and then he put his arm around me. We were making up from our fight and I put my hand on his to ask if we could try to not fight any more and he took my hand in both of his. He also says things like, "yes, darling/dear/sweetie" if I ask him to do something for me, like we're married. He loves to talk with me about sex, but never about us having sex together, except once he asked me jokingly to be in a three way with him and a guy we know. He has joked about us dating, too. I told him I didn't like him talking about penises all the time so he called me a penis phobe. I said I was actually quite a fan. I just wonder what he's doing with me, if anything? He says he doesn't understand why I like him and thinks he has nothing unique that I would want from him. I'm not trying to date him but we have strong chemistry and I know we're both really attracted to each other. Is he just flirting for fun or is he serious?
He's just flirting for fun and doesn't mean anything by it.
Vote A
He's seriously flirting and is trying to get physical with me.
Vote B
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+1 y
Today he called me sweets and wrote on a paper after where it said date "yes please :)" and pushed it over to me. I said anytime and he said now but we were in class! I was writing a note on his paper and he started nibbling on my hand! It got me so hot I blushed and he said I was all red. Then I got two nice hugs. I whispered in his ear that I'd missed him and he said he'd missed me too. Later I asked him what he was doing and he said "you, well you wish" and I said yeah I do. Finally it's out!
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • A purely platonic relationship between a man and a woman is pretty much impossible. No man is capable of being sweet to a girl without any sort of feelings for her. The only way a man notices a woman is if she attracts him in some way. Whether attraction turns to friendship is irrelevant. As long as they are round each other and he is paying attention to her and spend time with her, he is not feeling just friendly towards her. In your case he's obviously interested in you. The only question is how far is he willing (and hoping) to go - just sex or actual relationship. The way you describe your "fights" reminds me of pulling pigtails and pushing - he's trying to get a reaction out of you that will help him figure out if you have feelings for him too.

    • I've already told him I love him unconditionally. How much more of a clue does he need? I say "You're lucky I love you so much!" to him every time he makes me mad.

    • Well in that case you can simply ask him why is he so flirty with you when he has a gf. If you love him like a lover simply next time he's so touchy simply kiss him and see his reaction. As I already said - he's obviously interested in you. The question is whether he's actually in love with you (but too big of a chicken to admit) or he's simply looking for sex without any strings attached. Either way it's up to you to decide how you feel about the existence of his gf.

    • I can't believe he's just interested in sex because he won't put any moves on me at all. Other than kid stuff, like putting his arm around me or a cheek kiss. We've been alone in my car and had several awkward goodbye hugs that should have been kisses but we were too inept. He likes to lean back on me and rest his head on my shoulder but facing away from me, like out of the car (I'm driving). So next time I give him a ride I plan on either stopping him before he turns away from me or doing something so we kiss or at least I kiss him. I can't take this anymore! I think, based on the way he keeps rubbing his face on mine when we hug, that he's hinting for more. I don't do that with any other guys when we hug and he doesn't hug any other girls that way, so I think it's a good sign.

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  • he's trying to get out of the friend zone you two are in , and is starting to get interested in u more than his gf, i mean he does spend more time with u than he does with his girl, and u guys share everything, even his sex experience. but don't do anything with him until he breaks up with his gf. show him that if u guys are going to be together , he caint cheat on u, if he's showing interest in you while he's still with someone what makes u think he won't do it with u?

    but if u re looking for a friend with benefits have a go at it, but it'll hurt the current friendship u have with him.

    • Thanks for a logical and not hateful response. Here's the thing, I don't really care if he breaks up with her since we are only going to be in town until summer anyway, then we go to different states across the country for college. That's why I'm not hot to date him and don't care about him cheating on me. So, I would be okay with a friends with benefits situation, although that's something I would normally do. Why do you think it would hurt our current friendship? Or in what way, is a better question. I mean, we've said I love you before, lots of times, so it wouldn't strictly be a friends with benefits thing since we do have strong feelings for each other. Any advice would be helpful!

    • what u have now is a great guy, funny , honest , he trusts u with everything, that s an amazing friend to have, but when ur relationship with him become sexual, it ll be harder for u guys to be as relaxed around each other as you are right now, u might try to pretend like nothing s changed between u 2 but deep down u will feel more of a sexual attraction toward him, and in time u ll become more interested in him sexually and less in his personality. I mean u guys will feel closer sexually but not actually dating , what will u consider each other at that point. now i'm going to act as the devil's advocate :p (and im not like that usually). if u guys are moving and aren't going to see each other, why not have a little fun beforehand :p

    • oh no my conscience's back :p if ure thinking of doing that u need to know something. sex will stur some feelings between u 2, and u ll grow more attached to him. something u don't want to do when u're about to say goodbye to someone, trust me on this.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Honestly, it sounds like your his best friend. He can't act like that with a guy obviously. He likes getting the attention you're giving him. I can't explain it but a lot of my guy friends were like that with me. You need to ask yourself if your friendship with him is important. If it is, don't cross the boundary. You're important to him big time.

    • He's the one who's calling me sweetie, darling and putting his arm around ME to cuddle! I was just being friendly until he pushed things.

    • Yes I know lol he initiates and u follow through. So, u give him attention lol

  • For it it sounds like he likes you, because you can check out all the pages about love and dating and you will see these are the significant signs a guy likes you.
    So if you have the same feeling, go for him. But wait until he breaks up with his girlfriend. It's not cool to be a home-wrecker, no matter how bad the girlfriend is.

  • From what you saying he obviously wants you but he's probably waiting for you to initiate something but I would advise you not to since he has a gf. It's no fun being "the other one". I honestly think you should bring it up to him and Bc like I wanna know if you want to be more than just friends?

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 7

  • He is an asshole he has a gf but when she isn't there he spends times with you as though you are his gf, minus the physical part he probably is the exact same With her except they are intimate... you are an asshole too though you are letting him do this knowing he has a gf you should be backing off and reminding him of the moral values of a relationship but instead your letting him use you to fill his spare time. Sorry if that seems harsh but you are vetter than that girl

  • Lets think he dump his girlfriend, when he do that you will be new one for him and you should know that he will look for another woman when you are boring for him.

    • I'm not looking to be in a ltr's with him.

    • lol, so enjoy your time with him

  • He loves you but is in denial, he is probably afraid to leave his gf though. He just love you thats it. good luck

    • How do I get him out of denial? I'm pretty sure he does love me. He's said it before. Should I tell him I love him? I have before, but not like love, love. I do, though. Would that freak him out or scare him off? Is he hoping or waiting for me to say something or make a move on him? I am as scared as I think he is of doing something unwanted.

    • Its a sticky spot no doubt. I say next time you guys are face to face and he gets really close you lay a nice gentle kiss on his lips. He definitely thinks of you all the time, i do all the same things when i am in love with a girl. Its kind of funny actually.

    • Oh and after you kiss him just stare into his eyes and say you love him and also say you want to be more than friends and to stop playing games with you and his gf.

  • my guy friend started doing this and I was in denial about it.
    and then he told me he was taking the day off just for me and wanted to cuddle because it was cold...

    yeah. he likes or. or just wants sex. probably the former though.

    good luck.

  • He's probably secretly in love with you.

    • Why do you think that? I kind of think so, too. He's told me he's dumping gf in May when we graduate. I think they stay together because she likes him more than he likes her and he's said he doesn't want to hurt her. But next year we go to college, so that's a logical end point. He's told me he loves me, but I'm never sure how to take that. I do love him. I know, because he infuriates me and I want to kill him but I can't stay mad at him and it hurts me if he won't look me in the eye. I'm dying to know how he really feels about me but I'm too shy to ask. At the very least we are friends who are really into each other, like there's no one else around when we're together.

  • I think he wants t fuck but waiting for some mutuality

    • What would indicate that on my part? I'm definitely interested.

    • eye contact, smile... when he gets touchy, let him and touch him back... lead him on=)

    • ALL we do is stare into each other's eyes! He looks at me like he's searching my eyes for the answer to something. I practically beg him to hug me and have no problem setting things on his lap or reaching between his legs to get a water bottle. Will that get him thinking I want something? He said to me that he had no idea what unique thing he had that I would want so he has no idea what I'm interested in him for. How do I get him to see why I like him?

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  • if he holding your hand... he is trying to understand or letting u understand his feelings...
    if he wants to hug u he is making you his own property... he is making u reserved for u... if he hugs lightly then he is caring nd hugs you hard then he needs u a lot... he is alone nd u r like medication...
    if he kisses your hand or ur head then he is givin u respect nd showing u his care...
    if he kisses gently on ur lips nd moreover he is hugging then its true love...

  • He's a douche. Because he can do all this with you while having a girlfriend. If I were you I wouldn't want him anyways.

  • C He really likes you and yes, wants intimacy. Geez. How normal can you get?

    • I feel that way, too, and that's what so confusing! He says he hates cheaters and has never really tried to kiss me on the lips, but when we hug he's always nuzzling cheeks with me. It feels like we're a rubber band that's about to snap and I think that if we ever had the chance to act on our feelings it would be really hot. I know smoldering is a corny word, but when we stare at each other that's what it feels like. A lot of times, too, when he stares at me, it feels like he's looking in my eyes for an answer, but I don't know the question! That's why I ask him WHAT? and pretend to be annoyed. Then he says he's "just looking". Looking at me, obviously, but why?

  • Are you Flying Turtle?

    • What are you talking about?

    • your id name s flyng turtle?

    • Nope

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