Guys, would your heart be open to a girl like this?
I used to want to save myself ENTIRELY for marriage, but I developed a condition whereas my neurons do not work right. We also think there's some damage to my hypothalamus, the part of the brain controlling appetite & sex, granted I have irregulation in my sexual temperance. Therefore, weeks before I turned 20, I began to do sexual stuff-anything that wasn't coitus, which I still feel is sacred and only for my groom alone. In order to work around this, I had/have anal sex so that my hymen remains in tact for my husband. My therapist, charge nurse & psychiatrist told me I can't hold a grudge against myself for it, since it is a factor with people who have this ( www.bphope.com/.../opening-the-door-on-hypersexuality ).
I feel bad sometimes, like my bipolar has reduced me to no guy wanting someone like this. This is why I hope I find another man who's mentally ill like me, who will understand. I also do not want my marital partner to be a virgin before our wedding; I'm not attracted to men who have never had coitus. I want him to know what he's doing. Anyway, off topic. Gentlemen, would you be able to look past this in a girl who's libido is disordered, but loves you enough to save the best thing for you?
Albeit, studies have shown bipolar maniacs to cheat a chillingly greater amount than stable people ( www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-infidelity.html ). That's not something I want to do, as to why I've taken the platform of technical virginity now-so that the best thing is his thing, and unlike those alternative shenanigans, with my true virginity I'll have a cognate sense of his ownership of me. I manage this the best I can, and can honestly say I've only been with 4 guys this entire year (better than last year!). Granted, I'm a lot less manic this year than I was last year.
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