Sexual Relationships
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Girlfriend lied about being a virgin?

So today my girlfriend told me that she really wasn't a virgin. I'm 17 and she is 16, and we've been together for almost 4 months now. A while back I had asked her if she was a virgin, she lied and said yes (she knew I was that type of person that saves virginity till marriage) {I'm like this because she's basically my first girlfriend so I never had opportunities to have sex in the past} BUT now I have a gf and I'm 17, so of course I'd like to have sex with her, but I never thought she was like that. Anyway she told me during her first relationship during her freshman year she Had No real urge to have sex with her ex, just did it to win him from another girl that her ex was cheating on her with. She said she didn't know what she was doing, didn't like it, didn't enjoy it at all, and the whole thing lasted like a minute. She said she would take it back if she could. And I forgave her, because we all do stupid things, and it's in the past. Am I making the right decision? I really don't want to end our relationship over this, but i don't feel right now. Like knowing I'm a virgin and my girlfriend isn't doesn't feel right. Especially that one day I'd like to have sex with her, but it would be weird loosing my virginity to someone who technically isn't a virgin. I feel like I should be loosing my virginity to another virgin. Please help
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Most Helpful Guys

  • First of all God bless you on this, cuz it's gonna be really hurting when you step into that but you have to be peaceful and calm, ask yourself do you really want that girl who can play with her virginity and create a mess, first of all if you think like this and expect a virgin girl then you shud be honest too in urself and never lie about ur virginity, i have seen people who lie about their virginity but when they get caught then they says yes they lied and they did nothing wrong losing their virginity, well if they really think so, then why the hell they hided it? it's the first clue they are not truthful and not honest they might hit on ur back again so it is always better to stay away, if u believe in one and only soulmate cuz you deserve the one who thinks like you, so is this girl really worthful to give a chance? i have researched on this type of girls a lot in my life, those who are really easy with sex just with anyone and think is not a big deal for them usually are the one who moves out fast for weird and nonsense things you can never satisfy them, you can't expect anything from them, they have tendency to cheat on your back always if they have chance just because they find some guy sexy and hot and attracted to them, they will always have a reason for sex with anyone besides of you, and this is really disgusting when such girls talk about giving them respect and call other guys pervert, today i want to disclose you a fact, nowadays you can still find many guys who are still virgin like you and me, and who thinks to preserve virginity for marriage, but u rarely find a girl who is virgin and plus all this in very early age, u are 17 and a virgin and she is 16 and already lost virginity half an year ago u can see difference in my case as well i am 27 still a virgin waiting for the right one but u will never find a girl of my age is virgin, it's cuz girl's are sort of very choosy and classy, they stick around the common guys who are famous, classy and cool.

    • Only read half. She's not some loose careless girl, she has very strict parents, is very undereducated about sex, and has only mastebates once and felt like it was wrong. I think this was just a mistake to win someone's love, but a very costly one

    • I appreciate that you do care about this girl and trying to get over this, it's very nice of you to love someone this way, there are many people who loves someone for their good but there are very less people who loves someone for what they are, if you already knows a lot then i don't think u need much opinions on this, and everything cannot be explained and taught somethings must needs to be experienced to learn it, by the time u will get it more right and understand what i was saying, and i wasn't talking about your girl particularly there are many who knows what they are doing still they do it and are not innocent but they are responsible for what they have done. and the fact that i heard many times that girls are losing virginity and at very early age, i was wondering if most of the girls are losing virginity then why there are lots of guy still virgin yet? there is a scientific thought that they might getting attracted to the common group of guys cool & famous

  • don't over think it son.. She confessed, it means she likes and respects you enough to do that. so she lied, women lie all the time, little white ones here and there, point is that she said she didn't like it with that other guy. I know you feel like you want to lose ur virginity to another virgin... thats what virgins feel.. but believe me it is way better to lose it to someone who has some kind of experience. i don't think that what she did warrants you dumping her, i believe she came clean which makes her trustworthy, she's a keeper bro.

    • Thank you dude

    • I only speak the truth man, girls are shadier than us and never talk but she talked... dont push her away by focusing on the lie.. focus on the fact that she came clean and there will be much more to come in the future. You are definitely welcome bro.

    • And this just happened tonight, and I'll see her at school tomorrow

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Most Helpful Girls

  • If she lied about that its not a good sign. In my expierence the saying "Once a _____ always a _____" is unfortunately often true. One thing I do is write a list of positives & negatives, look it over &, for me, the answer becomes clear. Seems to me you have high, strong morals, follow them because you are a good person, dont settle for less, you deserve to have a happy marriage/life. Sounds to me like you know this... your remark "doesnt feel right" screams the answer & I think deep down you know what to do.

    • She lied because she knew I wasn't that type of person and thought I would leave which she didn't want so that's why she lied. And she didn't like or enjoy her first time, she saw and STILL SEES it as a huge mistake

    • Yes, but she kind of lied to her ex too, or at least about her intentions :p

    • 1AMinthemorning; How will you know that with you she will have good experience? May be she will give the same excuse to her next boyfriend after dumping her present boyfriend

  • Well nowadays its hard to find virgins. I think you were right to forgive her. She had a bad experience was ashamed to tell you but she did. Now if you really cared about her that wouldn't matter, and when you finally do have sex with her you make sure it was better then her last.

    • The point is why it's getting hard to find virgins? when there are already virgin guys, let's have sex for fun right now and later say that was a bad experience? isn't it hypocritical with people who are waiting and honest? are u trying to say lately all girl's are turning in to social and legal good form of sluts? we shud let the girl's live like a slut just cuz it's their life and accept later when she acquire all the bad experiences? where are u trying to take the society? people like you have over crossed the social barriers and have broken every limits just for have sex like animals in every corners of street and make it legal and acceptable to prove urself correct. and eventually this all shud be forgiven just cuz u say it was all the bad experience? i want to ask why so early why so rush for sex it is hard to wait till marriage? at least it clarifies ur intentions of clean relation if u are married. not cuz ur sex hormones are over flooded.

    • How will he make sure? Because here he is virgin and she slept already... so she will be in the dominant place

  • It doesn't matter, if u care about her it basically doesn't mean anything. It sounds like it wasn't so great for her, so her first time with u will be much more special

    • May be this time too willbe like the previous one. N after breaking up with him she will give yhe same excuse to her next boyfriend

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 7

  • A person's sexual history is their business and no one else's. She shouldn't have to lie. All this big deal over the V card is completely over the top. Her history is irrelevant unless she has a lingering effect like children or disease. If you love her and trust her, that's sufficient to form a relationship.

    • So not true

  • Hey she was honest with you and I think you should both have a conversation about why she lied about it. If it's because she was embarrassed or she didn't really count that as her first time since she didn't really like it. I mean it's nothing you should dump her over because trust me virgins are not all they're cracked up to be you often have to stop, if it hurts especially if your new to it to because you don't know what your doing. I was "lucky" enough to be taken advantage of by an older woman who showed me the basics. So enjoy each other's company chances are she won't be your last, not to say you guys won't work out, but you're still young and young love often doesn't work out in the end so best to make time while you have it like it's the last time you two will see each other at least for now, since you're only four months in and both not adults yet

  • Stay with her everyone makes mistakes don't break with someone because of their past and definitely because she's not a virgin and you are its normal

    • But it will be unequal n imbalanced. N what if she dumps him n goes to someone else? Will she give the same excuse to her next boyfriend that her exes were not good at bed

  • i wonder why girls lie about being a virgin. i think someone must be proud if he/she lost him/her virginity

  • I wouldn't be angry with her not being a virgin because well that's just dumb. People have sex, it's natural. I'd be angry about her lying and I would break up with a girl that lied to me. It's a sign of disrespect and brings her reputation in my eyes into disrepute.

  • I'd break up

  • Stay with her just don't talk about it have fun.

  • "And I forgave her" For lying to you?

    • I understood the situation and why she didn't tell me before, and leaving her didn't seem right.

  • Not because she's not a virgin, but because she lied and it was a lie that would of made or broken it from the start. So basically lying to make you like her, and once you're into her enough telling you the truth. Very deceptive.

  • She is still clueless about what to do in bed... That's what you will get with any virgin. Sex will still hurt her, She at least told you. If you were to have sex with her, before she told, you would have never guessed she wasn't a virgin. having sex once for a minute doesn't sound like he even had a chance to stick his head in much

    • Sex will still hurt her? And "only lasted a minute" meaning that's how long it took him to climax... I'm guessing

    • Yep, sex will still hurt after your first time, and jeeze what a terrible first time.

    • I guess so, I have fingered her twice, she's fairly tight with one finger, and I'm a good 5-6 inches😬

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  • it depends. Do you like her enough to ignore that she lied and isn't a virgin? like is she worth it?

    • That's why I'm looking for advice from people like you!

    • well you've only known her a few months, and there's plenty of other girls out there.

    • Not even, I'm the really timid type, the only reason I got her was because I was in yolo mode, and decide to be straight up. I'm a senior, and I don't really like anyone else in my class, and I'm pretty sure nobody else in my class likes me, and I'm not starting over with another underclassmen

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  • Staying with her is the right thing to do, she seems to care enough about you to tell you in the end (she was probably just scared because of your beliefs to start off with)

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