Why Do People Say NOT To Approach Women?

[Anonymous]

I posted on here recently asking how to approach women. I got a lot of feedback, people telling me it is never a good idea to approach women and let them to come to you. Let me tell you a story: -Throughout my youth, I suffered with women, because I could never approach them and thus I could never get dates or get with women I liked. -I recently started approaching women (when the circumstances seemed right... such as a coffee shop) and I have been on 6 dates with 6 different women and have kissed 3 of those 6 women on dates. My problem is that I do not know how to approach women when they walk by me or past me... but people are telling me it is a bad idea to approach women. Why is it a bad idea? If you don't make an effort to approach women or talk to them, you're missing an opportunity to meet a great woman. There are so many lonely guys out there, because they see a cute girl... but they are too afraid to approach her or society has told them that approaching random girls is wrong and that you should only approach women you know.

[Nochielo]

Well, I'm sure that works for some. I'm more of the mindset that approaching a female stranger comes off as creepy or annoying. I say I must know the woman through some other means so when I approach, she at least knows who she's talking to. That's just me, I guess.

[heavensgift2girls]

There is nothing wrong with approaching a woman. Those guys didn't know what they were talking about. They were trying to sound cocky, and act like women are drawn to them. On the internet everyone comes off more sure off themselves than they really are.

[Asker]

Exactly... women aren't just "drawn" to men... unless your ridiculously good looking for a celeb. It is up to men to get women to notice them... and you do that by approaching them and making yourself known.

[heavensgift2girls]

When you wear a shirt like mine, everyone notices you. lol I don't normally wear a shirt this bright. I was on vacation and felt like being silly. It was really fun watching everyone's head spin around and stare at me. :p I actually don't approach nearly as many women as I should. It is something I have been trying to work on. I am a lot more shy in real life when it comes to women. Currently I still find online dating easier than walking up to strangers.

[cheeseysouffle]

pfft... look just say "oh, nice shirt" or "hey, I'm looking for (insert spot here). Can you point me in the right direction?" Now the last one works if you act a bit a the shirt is super effective (like over 9,000) if it's a graphic T with doctor who on it.

[cheeseysouffle]

*flips a table because of down vote* you know why I wait for a guy to approach me? Because a man with a spine takes initiative. The last time I asked a guy out instead of the other way around, he ended up being needy and didn't have any plans because he didn't have the chutzpah to take life head on.

[OHGEE]

LOL @cheeseysouffle if you ask someone out you're supposed to be the one with the plans. That situation can go both ways. Sad but true, you never know what kind of crap you are going to get yourself into when you take the initiative. Also, men often get put through a hazing process where the other party tries to sabotage or obstruct the building of love by playing games.

[cheeseysouffle]

@OHGEE by plans I meant he had no plans for his life in general, but yeah if I'm going to ask him out I should have a plan of what to do that night.

[freakyzeaky]

I just have trouble breaking the ice. Call it insecurity, call it lack of confidence, call it shyness, fear of rejection, whatever you want, but it is tough for me to get out of my head and approach. Wish it were different. Maybe I do lack the chuzpah in this aspect of my life, but to assume I don't have plans? A man can be confident in one area of his life and not in another. I have a decent job, not the best, but I pay my bills and have enough money to enjoy myself. I am going back to college for my BS in Cybersecurity. I go to concerts, take trips, have interests, have a sense of humor, and consider myself a decent overall guy. It is just in this one area that I struggle with. If you were scared of spiders, would it make sense for me to say "you need the chutzpah to take the spider head on?" 😂 You'd probably say "screw you alright! And screw that spider!" I guess that isn't a good comparison because unlike socializing, most people don't care about spiders, but whatever. 😂

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Those people are wrong. Go ahead and approach women

[Sinister]

@yaddayaddayadda02 - Some asshat down voted you, I up voted you. I 2nd this notion.