My boyfriend 'punishes" me via sex? I'm confused, frustrated, and just angry. I'd really like to hear a males perspective on this?

[Islandgirl94]

1st thing, there is a huge anatomical difference between us size wise in the genitalia department. He is usually extremely conscious of that but when we argue it seems like the more pain he gives me the more he gets off. Anyways, im noticing that instead of telling me he's still angry he tends to settle scores w/ sex. I don't mind playing rough as a means of blowing off steam but it's gotten pretty out of hand recently. I went to the gynecologist last week bc I was hurting down there a week later after sex. Apparently, I had bad vaginal bruising!! Basically, we've been fighting over his dislike & jealousy of my boss lately. Nothing inappropriate has ever gone on but I have worked late with him alone a few times & now my boyfriend hates him. We had sex about 2 days after the argument had died down (in my mind, anyways...). He positioned himself on top in such a way that he locked my legs open, I thought he was just teasing at 1st but then he'd ask me a question like "What were you doing with Josh in the office Monday night?" I'd say nothing and he'd ram me really hard. I'd start trying to close my legs but they were locked open and he'd kiss me, rub my face and say "Ok, Sam let's try this again, don't lie to me.." This crazy sex interrogation lasted a good hour to where I was raw, in pain, in tears and begging him to stop. I ran to the shower locking him out but he forced the door open and got in with me. He's sometimes very loving in bed but this was different. He held me in the shower in silence while I cried & then said "I want you home by 10 Sam" and left the room. I went to bed bruised and sore but he held me all night & I fell asleep. The next night I confronted him, I started telling him how hurt & upset I was that he didn't trust me and how what he did physically hurt. He was holding me, kissing my tears but not saying anything. It's never been this bad before but one time we were arguing, he did lick my tears... is he sadistic? I'm afraid to have sex now

[AustinMan]

He's violated you and your trust. You were raped, brutally. It sounds like there's good here but if you have the slightest doubt that you can get him to agree completely that he'll not use his cock as a weapon again, you need to dump him and dump him completely. If he wants to discipline you and you're willing to submit, there are many ways much less abusive and dangerous.

[Islandgirl94]

I do think there's some good, I just don't know how to approach him because he won't say much to me about what happened. I didn't even know he was still upset until we had sex. I am a naturally submissive woman and am happy to let him exert some control but I don't want to be tortured! Im terrified to sleep with him again because all I can think of is whether or not ill be punished for something else he deems offensive!

[AustinMan]

He was clearly very angry and took it out on you with his cock as a weapon. You need to sit him down and just tell him you know what he did and that he has two choices: he can try to convince you he'll never do that again, not matter how angry or he can pack up and leave.

[AustinMan]

Thanks for the MHO. What's the latest?

[Islandgirl94]

I messaged you

[godfatherfan]

Jesus christ... that dude is sick. And honestly it sounds like rape more then sex. You need to get away from this guy as quickly as you possibly can. He is a sick individual and needs serious help. If it was actual "Rape" would depend on if you told him to stop or not. if you did, and he didn't, then all the police and report it. Before he does it to more women.

[Prettykangaroos]

This is an abusive relationship. If you're not consenting to this type of sex, which I'm assume you're not because you're crying this is absolutely assault and it's both physically and mentally abusing you

[aficionado]

You need to DUMP this guy asap. And perhaps even file a case of harassment against him. I shuddered while reading your description.

[parkway]

You are not very bright to put up with that crap and to top things off, sounds like you live with him. If you don't see it, this guy has everything necessary to kill you. You don't seem smart enought to leave him.

No one can help you but you. If you are in love then there is no hope. Just go out and get some life insurance write a will pointing to possible person who would kill you and make someone a very wealthy person when you die. If you love this guy, you are a fool and do not love yourself.

[slackercruster]

Look, tell him if he does it again... he is done. Be clear, be direct, be firm and be 100% serious. Abuse like this usually gets worse as time goes on.

If you are a glutton for abuse, fine stay with it. But from my perspective, no excuse for hurting your loved one. When our sex session is over I want my partner to feel exquisite afterglow. I do not want them to have to cry from pain and have to go to the doctor from physical and mental abuse.

[kheserthorpe]

Seems abusive.

Some women find it hot, and you might too, but much like the guy in that fifty shades book, you shouldn't play those games without rules and trust, and you don't have them here.

[Vanessaaa]

How is this abuse? He taught her a lesson... I wish more men had the guts! I find this sexy

[kheserthorpe]

@Vanessaaa Because she hasn't - to my knowledge- consented to a relationship where he uses physical punishment to discipline her. If she had, I'd be happy for both of them, and don't get me wrong, if she did... I might find it hot -too-. BUT. You dont' get to hurt people in a sexy way to discipline them without them agreeing to that type of relationship, and a partner while the idea of a partner pushing through consent is hot, and people have safe words and so on specifically to play with that, a partner who actually doesn't... is dangerous. Not hot and dominant, they're reckless and out of control.

[Vanessaaa]

@kheserthorpe Are there any men in this thread? He held her all night and kissed her tears after, he clearly isn't a monster! Whats the point in men being bigger and stronger than us if they can't use it to their advantage sometimes when we step out of line? And yes, she stepped out of line!! Why is she working late alone with her male boss anyways? He didn't hit her with a closed fist, he pounded her raw till it hurt so shed think twice before giving whats his to another man. I think he claimed whats his and thats hot

[kheserthorpe]

I can't speak for anyone, but I know Austinman and I both think spanking and anal sex with a woman saying no (but not a safe word) is hot as hell. But that's using strength to exercise control that she willingly gave over. Dominance and rape are not the same thing. Being physically dominant and abuse are not the same thing. I get why you find it hot, but you really, really, really should be careful if you're drawn to men like that. Because they are NOT in control. Not of themselves, so certainly not of you, even if it feels like they are.

[Mesonfielde]

This guy is clearly insane and doesn't respect you as a human being and you should get away as soon as possible.

[Scooterdude]

GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP!! NOW! That is sexual assault. You told him to stop and he kept going? That's Rape!!! You should try to press charges so he doesn't do this to another woman. You're a human being, you deserve to be treated like one

[Bandit74]

Yeah, I'd consider finding a new boyfriend if I were you.

[loveladies1]

Sounds like he is an angry asshole. Move on

[Anonymous]

The difference between this and a wife-beater? Absolutely nothing at all beyond the choice of weapons.

I used to work for a counselling unit for domestic violence at a military base. It isn't anything terribly unusual to hear a woman get battered around and then she finds him being touchy feely with her.

From what you have said, it does appear that you've been raped and it will only get worse later on. He sounds like a n****r tell him to bugger off.

[Anonymous]

So wrong. I don't know whats wrong with the girls on here but that is not okay. GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP

[Anonymous]

this is some freaky shit! I'm seriously jealous... I love aggressive shit like that! Either do what your told or get used to sitting o ice packs love...

[Anonymous]

I know two or three women who'd kill for this. Also, yeah, sadism.

[Vanessaaa]

I was thinking the same thing... I would love a man to fearlessly OWN me in this way. Maybe I'm a perv but this is the sexiest thing I've read in a while. I want a man with this kind of balls ;-)

[Opinion Owner]

... But I don't care. Tell her in your own comment.