My boyfriend 'punishes" me via sex? I'm confused, frustrated, and just angry. I'd really like to hear a males perspective on this?

Islandgirl94
1st thing, there is a huge anatomical difference between us size wise in the genitalia department. He is usually extremely conscious of that but when we argue it seems like the more pain he gives me the more he gets off. Anyways, im noticing that instead of telling me he's still angry he tends to settle scores w/ sex. I don't mind playing rough as a means of blowing off steam but it's gotten pretty out of hand recently. I went to the gynecologist last week bc I was hurting down there a week later after sex. Apparently, I had bad vaginal bruising!! Basically, we've been fighting over his dislike & jealousy of my boss lately. Nothing inappropriate has ever gone on but I have worked late with him alone a few times & now my boyfriend hates him. We had sex about 2 days after the argument had died down (in my mind, anyways...). He positioned himself on top in such a way that he locked my legs open, I thought he was just teasing at 1st but then he'd ask me a question like "What were you doing with Josh in the office Monday night?" I'd say nothing and he'd ram me really hard. I'd start trying to close my legs but they were locked open and he'd kiss me, rub my face and say "Ok, Sam let's try this again, don't lie to me.." This crazy sex interrogation lasted a good hour to where I was raw, in pain, in tears and begging him to stop. I ran to the shower locking him out but he forced the door open and got in with me. He's sometimes very loving in bed but this was different. He held me in the shower in silence while I cried & then said "I want you home by 10 Sam" and left the room. I went to bed bruised and sore but he held me all night & I fell asleep. The next night I confronted him, I started telling him how hurt & upset I was that he didn't trust me and how what he did physically hurt. He was holding me, kissing my tears but not saying anything. It's never been this bad before but one time we were arguing, he did lick my tears... is he sadistic? I'm afraid to have sex now
My boyfriend 'punishes" me via sex? I'm confused, frustrated, and just angry. I'd really like to hear a males perspective on this?
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