I like this guy and I want him to like me back.. I don't want to mess up..

This guys is simply amazing and I am amazing too so we are perfect. We hang out a lot, like every couple of days I spend the night over there. I don't want a relationship outside of our friends with benefits thing, but I do want him to have feelings for me if he doesn't already.

If he does, how can I tell?

Usually he texts me daily, but sometimes he'll skip a day.. is it okay if I text him before he texts me..

I don't want to be too available.. I just want him to want me..

What can I do? Is the sex hindering my chances of winning his affection?


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What Guys Said 1

  • "I don't want a relationship outside of our friends with benefits thing, but I do want him to have feelings for me if he doesn't already."

    Well, you're contradicting yourself here. You want it to be the same friends with benefits relationship but you're more or less wanting him to 'want you' or you're wanting him to fall for you in some way.

    This is deceitful, at best.

    The sex is the relationship and ultimately, you DO want to change the relationship although you're telling yourself that you don't.

    This is called the bait-and-switch tactic. You give him a relationship that involves your mutual understanding that you're both in this for mutual satisfaction, you tell people on this website that the relationship is friends w/benefits and you're happy with it yet you want to make him somehow more affectionate and you're asking a question that would lead to your holding out on the sex in order to get something that you want more now.

    This is what upsets all people involved in friends with benefits situations. One party will inevitably want something more even if both understood going into the situation that it was only going to be sex. Just because you're unable to control your feelings doesn't mean he should be subject to your manipulation tactics. ie; your holding out sex in order to gain a different type of relationship than currently agreed upon.

    Whenever I see this situation come up, I cringe.

    • I'm not ready for a relationship, but I really like him. I'm not being deceitful. Is it so wrong? I would never "hold out on him" that's why I don't know what to do. I wouldn't do him wrong because he is my friend first and he's been good to me as a friend as well as a lover.

      But I want him to like me and enjoy the sex. Is it wrong that I don't want to be just a piece of ass? Is it wrong that I want him to feel just a little emotional connection with me?

      I'm not baiting and switching anything.

    • Show All
    • And I know exactly what I want. I'm not being irrational. I'm not ready for the situation to change I just want him to like me. I don't need him to treat me any different, I just want him to like me and I actually think he might already, but besides asking him I don't know how to find out. He just sent me a random text. He does this all the time. I know he doesn't want to date me right now either. We're both weird about commitment.

    • And didn't anyone ever tell you that alls fair in love and war? All you've really managed to do is make me feel guilty for having feelings for him and for wanting him to feel the same way. And I know what I've said, but you are interpreting it wrong. Like when I say, "Is the sex hindering my chances," I'm not saying I'll stop if it is, I'm trying to get opinions on the sitch.

      And you did give me a very detailed opinion and even though I don't agree with it I do appreciate the time.


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