My bf would rather masterbate than have sex?

So I've been with him for almost a year. We have been through many problems about his sexual habits. Anyways, i found out that he has an obseesion about sexual stuffs. So it's a heartbreaking that he wants to have sex with me once a week or sometimes it takes longer than a week to have him wanted to have sex. The thing is i know he keeps on masturbating and it makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I couldn't bare it and had an awkward talk to him about it. He said, our sex life is normal. (he doesn't even know how often we recently have sex since he keeps on pleasing himself) and he likes masturbating because it is easy, fast, different from sex and doesn't have to pleased one another. (At this point i think it sounds a bit selfish somehow) i got a little upset from what he said so i told him that so the problem is he wants to masturbate and i want more sex? And you are telling me to accept that? So i want sex more than you and you are okay if i use a dildo when turned on and i have to let you masturbate? AND HE SAID YES! IT IS HURTFUL TO GET TO ACCEPT THIS. ANY ADVICES? PLEASE HELP! and i make a poll to find out if it is normal fr a guy to not want sex, to prefer masturbating and leave his girl dry and high.
Normal
Vote A
Not normal
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • His thinking and lifestyle are not normal. People turn to masturbating when they have no partner, their partner is unavailable, or they want a quick wank with no worries about pleasing someone else. The last one only happens once in a while in a relationship. This guy is always wanking and barely ever having sex with you. You are normal, You desire sex with your partner. He is not going to change, and I sure hope you never do. You mentioned marriage. Run, girl, run! Things will only get worse for you. Find a guy that is normal. There are plenty of them out there. Us guys love a gal like you wanting to have sex with us. Really, run from him, fast.

    • Thank you! Your post makes me smile haha I wish i could do that. My bf is kind of weird. Like, he doesn't care much about others feelings. He is an angry person, cannot control his anger. I sure want to run away even when im still in love with him. Anyway, thank you so much!

    • 10000% agree. one of the biggest misconception with break ups is that sex isn't a reason. Guess what, IT IS! sex is such a huge part of relation ships, if you are not satisfied now, chances are you never will be. sounds like the all too common guy who's sex fantasies he creates in his head surpass his real life experience. Its a shame, but trust me, there are tons of guys dying, and i mean DYING to have a relationship with a girl who's sexual apetite is yours.

    • Please stop "wanting" to run away. Do it. Your question showed a man who doesn't care for your sexual needs and even mocks you about them. Your latest comment states he "cannot control his anger." You are being emotionally hurt now. It sounds like you may get physically hurt later. Please get out.

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  • Not normal, it's either he isn't attracted to you, but is in the relationship for the hell of it or that he just simply isn't finding pleasure in sex because you are not pleasing him enough,

    • I have asked my ex-partner about when we had sex and he said it was great or at least there was nothing to complain about. I tried everything. I even do a better job with my recent bf since we planned to get married. I pleased him every fetish he has. I t was great at first but still it turned out this way.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I can't say for sure, because obviously I'm not him. But to me it seems like he isn't enjoying sex with you for whatever reason. Or perhaps he's getting it elsewhere..

    I hate to think that he might be cheating on you, but I don't know. It seems strange for a guy not to want sex. That just gives me the impression that he's getting it somewhere else. Or maybe that's not the case, and maybe you two are just sexually incompatible. Which could also explain why he isn't too eager to have sex. Which doesn't mean it's your fault or anything, just that you guys aren't a good fit, sexually speaking. Sometimes that happens.

    • We had a talk and it ended up awful so i don't want to bring it up anymore. I just don't know what to do now since he keeps putting it all on me that i am overthinking and he is just normal. Anyways, i ca feel your kindness here. Thanks a lot!

    • No problem (: Maybe wait a couple days or a week and then re-approach the subject again after he's had some time to cool off. This isn't really an issue that you can just let go. Sexual compatibility is extremely important in a relationship. If he doesn't care about pleasing you, he seems a little selfish. I mean, you mentioned marriage.. do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling sexually frustrated?

  • It's not normal. I do know some people who still masturbate when they're in a relationship but only when their SO is away or busy. I just don't feel there's anything greater than having the company of your SO in bed with you... than masturbating in a room alone to p*rn . Your Bf.. I don't know.. he needs to be realistic

    • Thank you so much. It helps a lot.

  • Tell him to try and take a break from fapping for like a month and see how he feels

    • Thanks for your advice sweetie but i have tried asking him and he couldn't do it.

    • I think that if he isn't considorate of your feelings and won't do whatever you want to make you happy then he isn't in love

    • It's pretty weird. He does not care much about anyone's feelings. But im here just to make sure that his behavior is not normal and i am not over reacted.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 6
  • Wow !! This is absurd.. I can not relate to a guy that feels like that at all. I can't say that I feel this is normal at all. Does he give any reason beside not feeling pressured to please you?

    • He said he always does this all his life and does it less for me. I dont know how to say. Another heartbreaking thing is he once asked me to blow him when he watches porns. It ended up with me blowing him with macbook covered my face. That was so hurtful. I was shocked and my mind went blank so i did it with confusing.

  • This is normal for him. You've always had these problems. Sexual incompatibility.

    • How do you know i have always had these problems? Would it be healthy for your relationship if you want more sex than your gf and she keeps rejecting you? I'm a girl and have been told all my life that men thinks about sex all the time (thats exaggerated but well they sure do think a lot about sex and porns)

    • "How do you know i have always had these problems?" "We have been through many problems about his sexual habits.", you told me. Anyway, it's normal for him, he's always been this way, and what you are experiencing now is likely his baseline and how he will be throughout his life if you continue onward with him.

    • Well, the latest problem is i found out the videos of him having sex with his ex-girlfriends. Is it still my fault now? So i am being unreasonable to have more desire? That once a week is not enough? It is okay for him to masturbate but i just do not understand why does he do it instead of having aex with his girl, alright?

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  • It's not normal, u need to ask yourself does he find u attractive

    And together u need to adress what problems ur having in the bedroom

    • Thanks for saying. I just want to be sure im not over reacted or something. I try to do best in bed. It seems fine. But well even though he does it less, still he can't stop wanking off.

    • I mean personally i don't kno the relationship you two have, but his lack of consideration coupled with an aggravated sex life, It sounds like u need to rethink ur relationship, have u asked your self how all this will play out? Can u see a future with him?

    • I cannot picture our future together anymore. Its like 60% happiness i have and dont know what the rest are. But the last time i told him to break up he said i was disappointing him and everyone. He told me how he loves me and won't let me go. Tried to jump off the balcony. He's an angry person. Every time i try to have talk it turns into a fight. I'm trying to be okay with all these things but i am hurt as my post says for now. I feel like if i do something wrong anf why he doesn't want me.

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  • What @red_arrow said. I won't even get into what the moral ramifications this is (cheating).

  • I'll take the warmth of my gf's pussy over my own hand any day. Why someone wouldn't want to have sex in favor of masturbating is beyond me

    • Yeah thats why it drives me crazy! I am not ugly that random guys always comes up to talk everywhere i go. So i guess i am not that ugly to be so unattractive for him and get him turned off


  • When he masturbating pm me I love to eat and fuck you