Do I just happen to know a lot of bad guys, or are guys really this shitty?

[Anonymous]

My mom's father was a physically abusive drunk that cheated on her mom repeatedly before walking out when she was 15. My dad's father was also a dead beat drunk. I suspect my father has cheated. My brother has cheated. One friends real dad was a deadbeat. Her stepdad molested her and cheated on their mom. My mom was molested by two different men as a teen, as was a friend of mine. Another friends stepdad was also inappropriate with her. I know two rape victims. Raped by men. My elderly neighbors husband beats her. My first kiss was with a guy who had a girlfriend although I didn't know he did. He also had sex with my best friend shortly after. One of my friend's boyfriends tried to kiss me. Another's boyfriend cheated on her. When I was 17 a 29 year old man tried to sleep with me, aware of my age. When my friend was 14 a 20 year old convinced her to give him oral. When we were 16 my friend dated a 25 year old who pressured her into sex and then cheated on her. Actually I can't think of a girl over the age of 16 in my life who has yet to be cheated on by a man and/or sexually abused in some way. I can think of very few guys I know who have never cheated and would never cheat. Honestly at this point I don't even want to be with a man because I am very afraid of getting hurt. It seems more men than not have no issue being inappropriate with teen girls, cheating, etc etc. Taking advantage of drunk girls. Yadda yadda. I respected my friends stepdad for 6 years and thought of him as a decent man. Then it comes out he's a child molester, cheater, and wife abuser. I'm afraid of marrying someone who I *think* is perfect for me and it turns out they're satan in disguise. Someone please tell me that the universe just played a cruel joke on me and I just happen to know a bunch of douches and in reality most guys are decent?

[Anonymous]

What you say at the end, is actually kind of true. The universe did not play a cruel joke on you, you do just happen to know a bunch of douches and in reality most guys are decent, you might run into the ones you mentioned but if you go anywhere else in the world it could be better or worse. Which I think you might find a better guy somewhere where guys are raised right to be gentlemen. Find someone who cares for you.. and would never do anything to hurt you.

[Asker]

Its not even as if I live in a bad area. I'm smack dab in Bible Town. But thank you. Hope you're right.

[abzence]

Could be the environment you are living in.
Men who rape and beat women are a minority in this world. It may feel like there's many simply because that is what you notice. The good guys go by unnoticed. The same way you notice jerks but ignore the shy guys.

[Asker]

Its not that I'm not noticing the "good guys." There's simply just not that many in my life. Most of the guys my friends have dated have ended up being asses, and many men in my family are.

[Asker]

I live in a Christian community

[abzence]

I'm not saying that you are actively ignoring the good people. But it's like if a person is screaming in your ear it's really easy to not notice the hundreds of people who stand around whispering. A Christian community is no guarantee for high moral standards.

[Jersey1]

The universe has played a cruel joke on you. Look for a college guy in his last year or two of school. I think a guy like that would be open to a real relationship. Some of them are bad but I think you will have better odds there.

[Error_204]

thats just bad luck

[dx021]

don't worry, most women i know are just as shady, they're just better at rationalizing it, for both themselves and others

[Asker]

Yeah I'm not talking about shadiness. I'm talking about physical abuse, sexual abuse, cheating, etc

[dx021]

sure. that's most women i know once you peel back how they live their lives.. one of my closest friends is a loving father who's fat feminist wife constantly tells him how he's not good enough. she cheats on him and will take him to the cleaners if he leaves her. the only reason he doesn't divorce her is b/c he would lose his kids and "he loves his kids". most young girls i know bemoan how shady men are then sleep w/ tons of shady abuse guys. it's not til they get older and wrinkly that they start looking at family oriented men in the workplace, they are the first to cry victim and play people's sympathies because men are big mean abusive monsters while they are just little angels we all need to protect the narrative gets old

[Asker]

Your one example is so huge compared to my dozens

[dx021]

your huge examples are typical of a hysterical, histrionic woman thinking the big baaad evil world is out to get them. get over yourself and grow a backbone lol

[Asker]

When did I say that exactly.

[trojanDevil]

When you look for bad in this world you find bad. When you look for good you find good. All sorts of things happen everyday.

[Asker]

Like I've already said. I can only think of a few truly decent guys.

[Xiloquin]

You just live in a fucked up society. Molesters on the loose, divorce everywhere, and where cheating isn't a big deal. Stuff like you listed are bound to happen.

[Asker]

I'm not one for excuses.

[Anonymous]

Do you live in India or South Africa or somewhere along those lines?

[Asker]

I live in the south eastern united States

[Opinion Owner]

Oh wow... I didn't think someone in this country could experience so much in such a short time.

[Asker]

Think really hard about it, think of all the men and women you know. I'm sure you'll come up with several things as well.

[Anonymous]

Wow, talk about bad luck.