I've never really enjoyed sex. Is there something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

I've had a few one night stands when drunk but I never climax so it just gets awkward and I feel like the guy is disappointed. I don't think I'm good at sex at all. I'm so shy with sex with someone new... The idea of intimacy makes me anxious? Sexual Behavior So I'm a 28 year old single woman. Even thought I crave sex I find it a really awkward experience and feel very shy at the thought of doing it with someone new. I was fine doing it with my ex bf... lol I wasn't shy then... But to be honest I didn't really enjoy it that much... I get off better when I masturbate... Is there something wrong with me? There's so many young girls I know that just sleep around, or shag on the first date with someone new... I don't know how they do it... I'm so shy the first time... I need to feel comfortable with the guy before I have sex with him. The idea of being intimate with someone makes me so anxious that I avoid going on dates. Plus, my vagina is ugly.. My lips r too big and I'm scared a guy will think it looks like a little penis.

[MrOracle]

Many, MANY girls are like you in that they need an emotional connection with a guy before they can be comfortable being sexual with him. In fact, that's the norm, not the exception. Sure, there ARE exceptions, but even many girls who TRY to have ONSs end up falling for the guy or just having their emotions confuse them. Anyway, this part is fine - you know who you are and what you need, so you just need to be up-front about that with guys you date: sex is "on the menu" but you'll need a little while to get comfortable with the guy and work up to it. Most guys will be fine with that as long as you're at least on a trajectory that is moving towards sex.

As far as the second part, that's a bit more of concern. Sex SHOULD be enjoyable, especially when you have an emotional connection (it's understandable if it isn't when you don't). You say you can orgasm and presumably feel good when masturbating, so physical function is working. That to me makes it likely that you really just need a man who understands you, learns your body and your desires, isn't selfish, and has the experience and confidence to give you what you need. Even if your ex was a good guy, he may well have just been inexperienced/ignorant of how to please a woman, and if you don't help him along and communicate with him when things aren't working, sooner or later he'll give up and just do what he likes best.

So, my prescription for you is a large amount of communication (be honest and up-front, even if you don't give every detail at first), move slowly - but keep moving things along, and seek a man with some experience who also has a generous and loving nature. That's what you need.

[Anonymous]

Some people just don't enjoy it as much as others. Being confident and secure might have something to do with it, but even more so the partner you are with and probably drunk sex isn't that easy to do.

P. S Your vagina sounds hot as fuck, don't fret.

[crazyincalifornia]

I think you're pretty normal.
Especially about the masturbation part.
that's one thing god got right for us.
I don't get off every time with my guy either.
He does, but it is way easier for guys (hate that so much)
For me, extensive foreplay is key.
Lots of oral for and from both of us.
Just don't give up.
Sex is for sharing and sex is for caring.
It really doesn't come that natural.
Treat it like an art.
:)

[Anonymous]

you are human... you need emotional intimacy to enjoy sex. most women do and many men too. they deny it to themselves because nowadays it's all about instant gratification. i never enjoyed sex that much either even though the guy was my boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you don't like penetrative sex and maybe you should do other sex not all women like penetrative sex. Or maybe your too worried about your vagina.
Many women don't enjoy penis in vagina sex so that could be it.

[bestadviceguy]

There's a site that shows many vaginas that look normal, have you been there? Has someone said something hurtful about that part of you?

[Michael-in-SC]

Is there possibly anything in your past which may have tainted your view of sexuality, or of men? You obviously have issues with your vagina, but I think the real issue may lie somewhere else.

[Attila]

You probably haven't met the right guy yet... I can help you out

[I_M_LEGEND]

hows the rest of you look like?

[Anonymous]

Also, you can read some books on the psychology of human sexuality.