My girlfriend is boring/annoying in bed. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We are each others first sexualy. When we first met she kinda portraied her self to like some kinky stuff during sex. Well it turns out I'm a really kinky person and on top of that a sexual sadist. My girlfriend on the other hand is basically only excited with normal missionary sex. So ya complete opposite sexually. Also it makes her feel bad. I don't know y cause all she has to do is try to be sexy. Maybe not look so bored while I'm tying her up or actually initiate sex. Maybe do something this time. I can get her there A LOT and I can last as long as need be and she obviously feels great and she loves it but I'm getting bored as fuck. Oh another super annoying thing is she gets sore really quick. That may be because my size though but I don't know -.- And yes I do find her sexy. Any suggestions?

[madhatters4]

first off don't call her annoying/boring. you have preferences she has preferences. that's all there is to it. no need to throw around names and labels.

the only thing you can do is talk to her about things. see if she is willing to open up a bit. it's a step by step process and you can't expect her to go from 0 to 60 but perhaps she go from 0 to 10 or 20.

if she is unwilling to be more adventurous (on your terms) then you have to decide if you can stay in a relationship where the sex is the status quo

[Asker]

0 to 60? Dude iv been with her for 2 years. And she thinks she likes things but the moment we do them she realizes she doesn't like it. Also labeling her as boring, from my perspective she is. There for the term boring is correct. As for annoying, its mor frustrating than annoying cause I try with her and just get no where

[madhatters4]

well you see my point. she is your gf. she isnt' annoying in bed, it just annoys you that she doesn't do the things you want. but no sense in applying negative labels about her. it's disrespectful. I offered you suggestions and then the ultimate end game... if she is unwilling to change and you require this sexual activity then you need to decide if you can stay in the relationship. there's literally nothing else you can do. you voice your desires and if she is willing to go along then there you go. if not. then there you go

[Prof_Don]

Have an open talk about sex with her, ask her if she has any hangups with sex. Why she isn't as adventurous. Why she's so shy.

Ask her what her fantasies are.

------

With an open dialogue about this, u may find a way to unlock her kinkiness.

Otherwise this relationship won't work, because a guy chronically dissatisfied with his sex life, is unfair to him.

[Account]

You should talk to her. If she would do anything in the world for you, just suggest her to be.. wilder or something? Tell her that it would make you happy if she did... /insert things you'd like her to do.
I have no idea why people don't discuss sexual stuff with their partners. It's the healthy thing to do.
Plus, if she tells you that it hurts her, then you're probably not doing something right. It's not her fault.

[itsnotcreative]

Ask what she wants to do, like new things to try. Or maybe get one of those sex position books like Kama Sutra and look through that together and hopefully you'll find a position that you both really enjoy.

[Asker]

We have tried at least 100 positions but most of them make her sore. No idea if it has to do with my size or what...

[Stacyzee]

A little alcohol works wonders.

[Prof_Don]

That may loosen her up into some kinkier stuff, @Asker !

[AustinMan]

I suggest you engage the services of a good couple's counselor. Go in there and lay it all out and see where the chips fall. It feels like there's some disconnect between the two of you and hopefully the therapist can figure it out.

[serp777]

have an in depth conversation about your sexuality with her. Bring it up gently. I mean this sounds like a relatively minor problem though. I'd trade places with you in a second.

[Asker]

Trust me iv tried. I do my best to be nice about it but it just seems to make her feel bad then she just apologieses a million times during sex cause she thinks she is messing up. Then I start to feel a bit guilty cause I'm pushing her a bit.

[BertMacklinFBI]

mmm maybe tell her she can be a little more enthusiastic.

[Asker]

Tried. She kinda does it, gets frustrated with it for no reason then she just hates her self. I don't know y she is so tense about it.

[BertMacklinFBI]

maybe if you are enthusiastic with her it will ease up the tension and she'll feel the mood.

[Michaelfreltofte]

ask her how she would like it, cause youve seen bags of potatoes being more active than her

[Asker]

I have said something similar lol same basic principle though lol but she has no idea what she likes. Everything either hurts too much or makes her sqimish.

[Michaelfreltofte]

you tried the different positions with her? Dont mind im under 18, just get on with it ;)

[Asker]

No worries my girlfriend is 17 :p lol and yes. She gets sore in 2 seconds. That's not even an exaggerating. She does try to find positions for us but all have failed.

[Michaelfreltofte]

even like doggy?

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure doggy style hurts her the worst. I know she isn't taking either

[Michaelfreltofte]

im sorry dude, my best guess would be for her to start yoga

[Asker]

Oh she is very flexible lol its not how she is setting that hurts. Its her vag cause the angle it puts my d**k.

[Michaelfreltofte]

She must be super tight then

[Error_204]

You can't fix this.

[Asker]

Starting to feel that way -.- lol

[ultraleftist]

send me her...

[Anonymous]

Stop being mean to her