I had sex with him on the first date... need male even female advice. Confused, Stupid Tinder app ugg😒?

[Anonymous]

There’s a huge huge huge difference between a girl who knows herself and recognizes a deep connection (and has sex on the first date) and a girl who thinks that sex will “get her somewhere” or “earn herself value in his eyes”. . I'm really picky. Men always consider me a beautiful good looking hot women. After getting out of a 5 year relationship to a cheating man that did not sexually satisfy me. I waited a year to date. I went on numerous dates that ended in no sex because I didn't like the guys at all. Then finally one I was completely attracted to he was interesting n fun n I was extremely attracted. He was passionate slow great kisser. After the pub we went to his place he set the mood, i almost backed out, like I was about to run. Went in the bathroom a few times to tell myself what are you doing? Then I said you know what screw it life's to short and the last relationship I was in was not satisfying. So I gave him a full body massage n we had sex for 3 hours he came like 6+ times and me as well. I was like ok I did it. Damn now what? Sex was amazing I'm actually ok with just having sex with him, but I know I will get attached. I actually Texed him that he did a great job the next day he Texed back quickly n Texed lol thnx. Not a you to or anything. I'm like wtf. I don't want to date him maybe cuddle n have some sex since I've been deprived. I sent him a sexy pic n he said ur big lips need my bleep in ur mouth. I was like damn what an asshole but then I though well damn why should I care if that's all I want from him too. Now I'm debating. Ignore him move on n try to find another 3 hour best sex, hopefully love of my life or to continue texting him by telling him hey let's have sex when I'm really needing it. I do have pride but I want more of him. Not really the relationship but the sex. I'm scared I'm going to get attached if I We have more sex. Attachment equals chance of regection which equals to heart break. advice please!! On n do most men cum 6+?

[Panorama]

It’s simple: if you want a guy to take you seriously, do not get him focused on learning and knowing about your vagina/oral sex skills over your intellect and heart. If you wanted to be taken seriously and treated like a respectable female, then you have to conduct yourself like a respectable female. Sharing your body and sexual gifts with a guy who hasn’t earned them after one date then sending him a sexy picture is directly not conducting yourself like a respectable female who wants to be taken seriously. You may be having fun in the moment but the harsh reality is that there’s nothing special or unique about what you’re doing. There are only several thousand vaginas in the state he lives in attached to plenty of easy females who will just give it up without making him work for it. Sexy pics? Six orgasms? It has all been done before and can all be achieved again. If you want to capture a man’s interest then you can’t be so centered on capturing his d*ck. You have to stop thinking “How can I make his d*ck happy? How can I take care of his d*ck? What will his d*ck like?” Not saying these are your precise thoughts, but based on the way you act, it’s as if you want a relationship with his d*ck not his head and/or heart so he’s going to follow suit. “Hey, it’s easy sex, why not? I don’t even have to work for it” that’s probably what he’s thinking.

Six orgasms is not some special thing that you should be praising yourself for. It’s a little sickening how you added that poll as if it’s a badge of honor.

[Anonymous]

Well, he sounds like a douche. And that's, in a way, the perfect friends with benefits material since it would be more difficult to fall for him if he keeps acting like a prick lol.
But it's clear that you want something serious and that you want to prioritize finding a boyfriend over finding a guy to just have sex with. And even though the guy is a douche, you said that you're scared of getting attached to him... so in my opinion, I don't think keeping in touch with him is a good idea. Even if you only want sex. Focus on finding someone you're more compatible with, someone who's actually boyfriend material. Trying to find something serious while having some casual sex on the side just doesn't really work in my opinion. You would be juggling, in a way, and that's only a recipe for drama and confusion. Focus on the thing that's more important to you. Is it finding a boyfriend, or just having random sex?

[Opinion Owner]

And if you think a lot of men are bad in bed, then you need to teach them how to pleasure you. You can't just expect them to know your body inside and out, you need to communicate with them and let them know when they're doing good and when they're doing bad. Show them how to get the job done. That will most likely make them a lot better at it.

[Stacyzee]

That's the risk you take when you enter into the fuck buddy relationship.
Try to read my take if u can.
If you are scared you may get attached then this relationship may not be for u.
Since u both only talk about sex, it's clear to c he wants the same thing.
Thinking about running to another man for sex isn't a great idea. Everytime u get a new partner u are at an increased risk of contracting an std.

[Asker]

Yes.. But I'm most likely going to find a wonderful man who won't pleasure me that great in bed the next time. a lot of men are not that great in bed n are jerks who try n act like their Gods gift to women. but ur on point with the STD comment. That's making me real scared... if that's the case I'd just rather stay celibate cuz every partner is a risk even if it's your first.

[abundantlyrich]

He must be a huge dude if he can cum six times. Why not take it slow and ignore him for the first few days.

[Asker]

The bigger the penis the more he can cum? Never heard that before. Interesting.

[abundantlyrich]

No i mean big guy. Not big dick. I said He must be a huge dude. :P Please don't misread dude for dick.

[MaxFe]

It really depends you know.
While most of the guys out there will see you as a ho, some won't.
I myself don't use this "in which date we had sex" as a criteria to tell if someone is or not a ho. But most man do!
It's really likely that he sees you as a ho.

About the cum part, it alone is not proof of nothing. He could've been longing for some for quite a while just like you, and that why so many times. But it could also just be way he is, as could be just cause he was really into you. You can't really know anything with this info alone.

You seems to be a relationship oriented person, so you really should've focus on letting him know you as a person. It would much more likely lead to somewhere better.

I would say, move on. But that, of course, is your call!

Best of luck

[DocT1977]

Okay, I am going to give you my take. If you are relationship oriented and not looking for some fly by night fling, You just messed up. You did not demonstrate your trait of being picky. This just shows me that it wouldn't take any effort at all getting you into bed. There is nothing that turns me away from women quicker than what you just did. Now, He's going to see you as a hit it and quit it situation, cause he isn't going to commit to an easy girl. Now just you watch. He's gonna bang you for a while, Then he'll see something he likes better and you are left all alone. These sort of "Fuckbuddy" relationships always crash and burn and after it's over, Guess whose gonna be the one cryin? You are. You might be having fun now, But the train wreck is coming.

[Asker]

Well um I was being picky physically n I also needed a strong connection. After being on numerous dates that I turned down with no sex. even one guy that I went on like 6 dates with. I'm a grown women who hates games n it's 2015. Not 1970's where women had a rep to uphold but men could screw who ever they want n are studs. STDs chooses all genders n women actually have more men to pick from then men have women. Oh n I won't cry just maybe be hurt if I get attached. Of course he didn't know that I was extremely careful selecting. So he might think like u do.

[DocT1977]

I understand what year it is. That is not going to change the fact that you have chosen to put the cart before the horse. Morals don't change with time. Wrong is still wrong, and right is still right. It does not matter what time we happen to live in. Actions still have consequences. And since you have given yourself up on the first date, It is very likely that you have been given bar fly status since he did not have to put forth any sort of effort to end up with you. My opinion, Your being picky has failed you.

[MaxFe]

Exactly what he just said, you didn't demonstrate your trait of being pick. You did not let him know who you are. You acted differently from who you are. So he's thinking of you as if you where this different person. If you won't detach the sex and your feelings, you should just move on. Or you will get hurt.

[GingerBiscuits]

If you don't want to short change yourself or be used, it's best to back off with him or not got to anywhere that you'd be tempted to have sex.
And yes, if you keep going you'll become attached & later disgusted with yourself for another failure :(

[TheWiseOwl]

11 times all the time. My dick ends up being so red, raw sore that like a lizard it sheds its own skin.

So what was the point of this question if not to boast about your sexual skillz?

[Asker]

I want to know if he was into it as much as me? bif it's normal for guys to cum that much. I want to know if he thinks I'm a ho? I want to know if I should continue the best sex I've had since i don't know when n de moralize myself. Should I call him wait for him to call me? I like him but it was the sex that got me sprung, lol. But then he probably thinks ima ho since I slept with him after the first date. How do II get him to have sex with me n just me I don't want STDs n if he finds somebody else we can stop. Does great sex get men to pursue women?

[TheWiseOwl]

Why don't you ask him if he enjoyed it as much as you? You can pop his penis into your orifices so you should be able to ask him a simple question right? Again ask him if he thinks you're a "ho"? Some men will and some won't, it depends on the person in question. Why not seize the initiative and call him? Equal rights means equal responsibility does it not? Does great sex get men to pursue? Yes but not when they open their legs at the first time of asking hence where the saying "you can't make a ho a house wife" stems from.

[Rissyanne]

Don't beat yourself up over this. You are not a big ho. Move on and learn from it. It is really hard to find a guy who is great in bed.

[hakannet55]

1-3 times...

[JohnDominik]

Of all the girls I had sex with, the reason for not considering a serious relationship with her were: We didn't click emotionally, we had different aims in life, just too different characters etc. But it never mattered to me when we had our first sex. Only if a girl wanted to wait really long (2 or 3 months) it was a turn-off for me.

Sex on the first date usually happens when two people find each other physically very attractive. This is one of the most important requirements for a happy and serious relationship. So, both know then that they click on that level and can go on with finding out how they do in other areas.

One thing that really bothers me is that a lot of people still have this stupid idea of purity in their head. Early sex would make a woman somehow impure, dirty or slutty. What does "slutty" even mean? My girlfriend and I had sex after we met in a night club and had sex again before our first date. Of course she had a lot of sexual partners before me. But isn't that really awsome: A woman who likes sex? I once dated a beautiful woman who said that sex wasn't that important for her. Believe me, such a relationship isn't gonna last.

Let's call a spade a spade here: Guys get intimidated by the idea that their potential girlfriend had a lot of sexual partners before because there might have been some guys with a larger penis, a more muscular body etc. They are worried if the can keep up with all those others. This is in my opinion the real reason for all that "wait till marriage", purity and slut-shaming stuff. Maybe guys should work a bit on their self-esteem instead. There is a big difference between a sexual active woman and a cheater.

Summing up, maybe you don't want to be in a relationship with a man who thinks less of a woman because she had sex with him on the first date. Sometimes I get the feeling that we're still living in the middle ages.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be completely honest. 6+ time I'm give you an A+ .. good job girl.
On the flip side girl never I repeat never sleep with a guy on the first night. It may lead to more sex and even a friends with benefits but almost never a real relationship. This is to the fact that if you fucked us the first night how many other guys have you fucked on day one. My advice if you're ever in a situation like this again, and everything is just going right! Tease him enough to let him know it's his but he's going to get it just yet. Make him work for it. I hate to say this but we are all dogs. Some of us are just trained better then others.