Something I dont get with women, relationships and sex, need insight?

[Scrambled]

Ok, yes I get it, many of us guys get. Women are different and a guy has to just be confident and himself and put himself out there to raise his chances of attracting a girl that finds that type of person attractive. If she isn't into him, move on and find a girl that does. BUT, that's normal and boring. What about those guys who attract MANY girls in one go. The guy who has like several FWB's, the guy who rocks up at a club with 2 women! What does THAT guy do? Is he THAT hot? or THAT rich? Would that mean those qualities are an override of the normal advice given by women. I think the answer to this may help us understand the situation. Most women can get whatever sex fantasy they desire, they dictate their sex life and have the choice, whereas most men don't. Only those particular men mentioned above do. Most men can't "choose" their sex destinies but there are those men that do. I have a friend for example who has had a threesome. I want a threesome (don't judge).. but the point is he is just so good he can do this shit, where I cant? A girl just puts any of her desires out there and she has an ocean of options. I also refer to those few men who pick up several women at the same club on the same night and things like that. Surely some of you girls can see that but still go with the dude... like I don't get it. lots of questions here ha ha

[fearful]

I think its about how considerate a guy is. There is a very enticing way to say to a girl you just met "ok lets hook up". Of course it may not matter if she's already drunk but Im talking about a girl who is still sober. Then there's also a way to say it where you can be sure she'll say no. You've got to be direct, but you've also got to follow her in her thinking and not push too much. You need to make her feel that she can change plans and back out when she wants. No matter how into you a girl is into you she needs to feel that she can back off whenever she wants without any problem. I've had guys who've I've been crushing on suggesting we hook up, but with the ones I've not hooked up with are the ones that i thought wouldn't take no for an answer once I said yes. And that's honestly scary n will feel forced.

[Scrambled]

That's a very interesting opinion. Thanks, will keep check of that. Makes sense. It's always in the delivery of the intentions;)

[ladieslady50]

It could also just be that the girl who hooks up with that guy is wanting the same thing he is. You have explained a scenario where one gender has something, almost an advantage over another to woo, or appeal to their sexuality for a brief enjoyable interlude, whether it's a man seducing one/two women or vice versa.
Here's a notion: what if both genders are after the same thing, have the same thing to offer, (gender specific of course) and have a mutual understanding of what pleasure they want for that night.
For someone seeing that, I can understand that it could be daunting but that outgoing person does suffer knockbacks but they just don't care. They are almost the consummate salesperson - 'every no is another step closer to a yes'

[Scrambled]

I get what you saying. But then (because you don't find this in dating advice pages or GAG) you say the above so elegantly but its... different when you actually go out and do it. I go to a pub for example, chat to a girl, try build it up but then get shot down when I pull the trigger on a 'potential' hook up. Verse my friend who just, well, true story, made out with SEVEN.. lol... seven women at the same club in the same night. I know its probably my delivery but what I am gunning for is what attributes makes a man this good? This guy had mediocre looks but is a bit of a bad boy. p. s. if that's your pic... you are cooking as a 44 yr old. I may have managed to get a friends with benefits and she is 45. She is naughty as shit and good looking for a 45 yr old. I think I may learn something;)

[ladieslady50]

It has to do with confidence... you're harping on getting shot down so on your next approach (now it sounds like a fighter jet scenario), you're half expecting to get shot down in flames. It's a vicious circle, I know. I'm not 44, it's a typo.

[Scrambled]

Ha ha... yeah like the analogy. Actually I love the analogy. Go in like a fighter pilot. Ha... the typo is funny. You are going to get msg's from every old person on gag. You better change that;)

[ladieslady50]

I've tried changing it, but it won't let me. I've actually found that it works as a deterrent, really and I've found there are not many old people on here.

[kelly173815]

Unfortunately it usually is because a guy is that hot. If a bunch of girls are readily putting themselves out there knowing they are going to be used for a one night stand or something either he's really hot. Really rich. Or she's really drunk lol

[Scrambled]

Really drunk (im taking notes) that helps. This particular friend of mine isn't that hot. My female friends who know him well think he is disgusting. I have been told (whether its true or not... because I do have a great body) that I am hotter than this dude. But that makes it even more perplexing you know. Like these guys are "chick magnets". What creates "chick magnets'. Im like a boring "so, how are you, lets go for coffee sometime" kind of guy. Its so lame and boring but when I go more fully in... Its to overt and creepy and... its irritating. arrg

[kelly173815]

Do they think he's disgusting personality wise or looks wise? Maybe you just omit some sort of look that makes you look like you want a relationship not just a one time thing? But if you have a good body and get a really really drunk chick you shouldn't Really have much problems

[Scrambled]

A little both. He is getting older... he is 35 now but his FB feed still pumps with new girls befriending him. They young and hot. I don't know how he does it. You right though... I am a "nice guy" but do stand my ground. I do gym and boxing and the leader of my band (im a muso). So I keep attracting nice girls who are usually on the prudish scale. I want naughty but my social face isn't naughty. Im like the "librarian" I think. I look vanilla at face value but am mr grey back home.

[kelly173815]

Well maybe update your look if that's what you're after? Ask your friend for some tips?

[Scrambled]

I need to update my personality. But Im trying to update it correctly (i. e. what personality traits do I need to be a "chick magnet") Shallow sounding I know, but it sums that group of behaviors. My friend told me by the way... before I left the country, that the key is to treat women like shit. That's what he told me. He said he just gets to know them and then commands them. It must be that super confidence or arrogant bad boy crap that women go for. I can't do that. I know taking the initiative is key and being... yeah another term "alpha" but I don't know how to treat anyone like shit. Not my style.

[AustinMan]

The biggest single thing he does is likely listen. I strongly suggest that you read John Gray's book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In there he says a lot of interesting things but one of the best things was what is the most important thing to each sex. For women, it's to be heard. That's right. It's just that simple. Listen and HEAR. For men, it's to be appreciated. Those girls in high school and college that weren't all that hot or easy but had guys falling all over themselves? They knew about the addictive drug: appreciation.

Read the book and then let's talk.

[Scrambled]

Thanks for the opinion. I have read the book:) but that's not the key here. That's general good advice for any social situation. That won't make you a "chick magnet", there needs to be more.

[AustinMan]

Confidence and great verbal skills combined with good looks though the good looks aren't all that necessary if he has the other two.

[Klaatu51]

"What about those guys who attract MANY girls in one go. The guy who has like several FWB's, the guy who rocks up at a club with 2 women! What does THAT guy do? " <---- those dudes are called popular. some girls like them because they believe they're cool and confident

bullshit

[Scrambled]

Popular works... not going to deny. But then there is a solution then. Get out more and get more friends and lead social circles. I wouldn't do this just for women though. It's just a good trait to have if you want to be successful in life (not the only trait, but a good one)

[Virulent]

The shallow shoals of the human organism at play.

[Scrambled]

I would say the unrepressed full human at play here. You want to judge? go comment on the news forums where that poor pilot just got burnt to death at the hands of ISIS. That is living proof to live your life.

[Virulent]

I'm not even going to wonder how that relates to why women are attracted to status.

[Scrambled]

I dont even know how that opinion means anything with women and status. I think we both had a miscommunication.