Why do women have no sympathy for men losing their V card and tell them to live life and have fun and blah blah (like its not a big thing) and yet?

[Scrambled]

... women have such issues about waiting for the "right guy" or "the one" or have serious issues with their first time and stuff like that, projecting the notion that it is indeed a big thing? Its more like a spit in the face to men: women have issues regarding HOW they going to lose, or how they have lost their V card, whereas men are told not to even worry about it? A little one sided if you ask me. Generalist I know... but an interesting thought.

[Yeatts]

Because the world is full of bs double standards like if a girl gets around she is a slut if a guy gets around he is "cool". Yeah it's kinda stupid but you have the mass media to blame for this and the fact that at least 80% of people are incapable of thinking for themselves. In school people aren't taught this is how you assess a situation they are taught this is how it is accept it without question. If people were actually taught how to assess social standards or assess situations as opposed to being taught don't go against what you are told this would not be as big of an issue.

[Scrambled]

Yeah, good angle too. I agree with everything you say except there is one thing that I need to add too, why do you think most people don't think for themselves, or make poor decisions in general? You rightfully mentioned mass media abut there is the major problem of dysfunctional childhoods (and this could be overt abuse, over-caring parents, strict religious upbringings etc and you right, I like it: It fucks up a persons ability to assess their social environment.

[Yeatts]

Because people are not taught how to reason. In school you are taught HOW to do things but you are not taught WHY you should do them or view it that way. You are taught TO DO but not TO THINK. They teach formulas for doing things but do not teach the reason behind the formula. Because of the lack of exercise the reasoning part of the brain gets is the reason why people can't reason.

[Scrambled]

Again, fully agree with your school thing, but childhood upbringing counts more. Your world is your parents when you are a kid and if that is wrong, it goes south even before school. School just reinforces the rest.

[Yeatts]

Question. Have you seen the shit parents let their kids get away with? Yeah I agree parents have a huge impact but it will be a negative thus reinforcing their bad behavior unless the parents actually do a good or passable job. Not only that the parents need to realize the value the ability to think is, if they don't they could be good parents but leave out that important lesson due to not seeing the true value of it.

[Scrambled]

Im reading a psychology book on what causes nice guy syndrome. Overly caring parents, religious parents and most parents where there is a lack of male presence or traits is devastating for a kid. Today most parents want to be their kids "friends" rather than a guiding light.

[Scrambled]

I think I was blocked by prettygurl? ha ha... anyway. Yeah.

[Yeatts]

Yeah that is the issue. kids need somebody to (figuratively) slap them upside the head when they fuck up and then tell them why they just got slapped upside the head.

[Yeatts]

ah one of those... That's annoying when someone can't handle to truth and then they just run off... 2 people that I gave hell for over their bs deactivated their accounts >.> kind of silly if you can't handle people telling you the truth about the bs you say then you should shut up.

[Scrambled]

Lol... I don't know if it was you or me;) I will give you the credit for her blockage. High 5.

[Yeatts]

lol thanks :P high five

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

I think men should share their viriginity with a girl they really like or care about but if they don't want to that's fine too. I advocate for doing what's right for you, what makes you happy, and what you're comfortable with.

And I think it's a big deal for guys too. They'll remember it and it could be special to them, I've never denied that. I was excited and teased (playfully) my guy friend when he lost his. I was happy for him, and sad when she turned around and hurt him.

[Scrambled]

I am saying that some men can't choose the person they want to lose their virginity too;) its just that the V card thing is a bigger deal for men than what women give credit for.

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

Why can't men choose the person they want to lose their virginity to?

[Scrambled]

Some can't, like me. The lady I liked went for another guy. That cycle happened many times until I was over it. So I did the quick fix (im an impatient guy) and got a sex worker. But to be honest, there are tons of guys who settle for girls they don't like so I don't feel so bad.

[Prettygurl12]

I encourage men to pick their first partner wisely.

I encourage everyone to wait to have their first time be with their spouse. But I know you all think that that's a stupid idea. Which is sad because for girls who value waiting it's such an immense turn off when a guy is interesting and you find out he lost it to some bimbo.

[Scrambled]

... some guys (like me) had no choice but to lose it to a bimbo (and mine is an extreme case ha ha). But when you get to 25 and all the people you like never loved you in return, you start to question your "value" that you have to offer. I advocate ugly men who don't have a choice to be promiscuous or have a colorful sex life, get sex workers.

[Prettygurl12]

They'd be more respected by women if they didn't take your advice. Your value is not determined by the number of people who want to sleep with you.

[KHaskins]

"No sex without love" seems a good metric to me. "No sex without marriage" is fine too, hopefully they'd be the same person.

[Scrambled]

But you just proved my point. If virginity is such a "bleh thing" and it does not mean much in terms of value, then why would women disrespect a man who has a sex worker? Another thing, the consequence for a man who has a sex worker or not, or who is respected more by a women or not, will die with the same end consequence. They will never have the woman they want. So basically whether a sex worker option is good or bad, it doesn't matter for guys like us.

[Prettygurl12]

Sex IS that important.

[Scrambled]

Ok... so we agree sex is important. But now what happens to a man when he can't get this important thing? lol... and I laugh at your "i encourage men to pick their partner wisely" like some men have a choice. Some don't... the sex work industry is massive and if I get another Asian or Russian bride ad popping up here I will vomit... but there is a pay-for-wife- market out there. Many men can't choose and have to settle for whatever they can get... or pay for.

[Prettygurl12]

They should just stay alone as opposed to stooping so low

[Scrambled]

How can they stay alone when WE both agreed sex is important? Whats the poor person supposed to do? Like I said the consequences of doing it or not doing it the exact same for the guy.

[Scrambled]

Just to add on, I think its unfair to call it "stooping so low" . Again, if I want to be promiscuous (like every girl or guy has a right to), and can't, why should I NOT do this. How unfair would it be if mr or mrs beauty can get any form of sex they want but an ugly person can't just because its "frowned upon" to find other avenues for this? Its liberating for me to admit that I am who I am (like any person coming out the closet) and do what I do even though its frowned upon by people who don't understand.

[Yeatts]

I don't disagree that people should be more patient when it comes to sex but the way you phrase it you sound very arrogant. You make it sound like you are above it all which is not helping your argument out in the slightest. You assume that all men just want sex 24/7 and don't want to wait for it. This is an extreme generalization of the situation. You also imply that women somehow are inherently more pure then men and that women's and men's desires differ greatly. When in fact if you look at the questions some men ask and some women ask they really aren't all that different. Also I have to point out to the @asker that ugly women to some extent if not more so are on the same boat as ugly men.

[Scrambled]

Let me re-phrase, I don't mean to come off as arrogant (eventhough I do think my anger sometimes shows in my words... I am truly an angry person at the moment). When you see guys complaining that they are virgins, most women don't give them the time of day in terms of empathy or sympathy (I even saw some person put a"cry me a river meme". Then the good ones will just say wait or don't worry about or its not important. It implies that men are making a mountain from a mole hill. Yet, women always want advice (or maybe that sympathy or empathy) when they trying to wait for the one, or lose their V card to somebody they don't like, thereby bringing the V thing into play like it is important? That's my question. And no... not all men want sex 24/7, but some do... and can't unfortunately. I also refer to those men that will never be able to get a one night stand. I do not imply women are more pure than men, but in general, a woman can dictate her sex life while many men can't.

[Prettygurl12]

I believe she was referring to me with that comment.

[Scrambled]

... and an ugly girl can get laid easier than an ugly guy. It kills me when I see it all the time ha ha.

[Prettygurl12]

You assume that sex is everything - the most important. It's not. You CAN live without it.

[Scrambled]

I can live without it sure (well not really as I was cursed with high testosterone), but lets say I do, its not the act that kills me: Its the knowledge knowing that I am not worthy of something beautiful that many people get. Its a bitter pill to swallow. Sex (or lack thereof) is a symptom of something deeper, like being poor, or ugly or socially inept. I can't watch sex, or here sex stories because it triggers a depression in me and its because I know I can't get THAT. That highlights my symptoms of "no sex" which highlights the disease that is my ugliness or social inequality

[Prettygurl12]

The thing you need to get is that your worth is NOT indicated by whether or not you can get laid. You're going to continue to be miserable if you keep associating the two.

[Scrambled]

Ok cool, I know my worth isn't dictated by sex. Life is awesome. Please send me a detailed post card on what its like to make love to a person you attracted to... I will never have that. I will just follow the model I am doing at the moment, make tons of cash and screw prozzies. Im so worthy;)

[Yeatts]

@asker the last paragraph was for you the rest was for the person who posted the opinion.

[Klaatu51]

damn... i'm afraid that there are girls, who hate it when the guy has lost his virginity to a prostitute... :-/

[Scrambled]

Im one! In front of a crowd too... I don't think about what girls hate or not.

[BellePepper]

Women are constantly told to hold on to our virginity so it's weird to us when someone wants to loose it. It comes across as weak to societal pressures.

Then again holding on to when you don't want to kind of does that too... I guess it's a complex situation.

[Scrambled]

Boom... that's it Ms Pepper;) its complicated. Just be open minded when some guys get very angry or depressed about losing their V card. Its not an easy subject. Its complicated.

[BellePepper]

It actually kind of bothers me that guys are allowed to be angry that they haven't had sex. It gives the impression that they believe they're *owed* sex. Bad behavior is even attributed to not having sex. That's actually super creepy. Like I can't even think of a good emoji creepy.

[Scrambled]

Men do get angry that they can't get sex, I am one of them. Truth is, I can. I pay for sex workers and I found a potential friends with benefits that is like 45 ha ha. I would rather have a fun, beautiful girlfriend, but some of us guys can't get this. Don't confuse this with the notion that men believe they are owed sex. Its just a really terrible thought that people are happy and having sex and fun, while others can't. Its like you not invited to a really awesome party. You bummed that you do not "qualify" for something that's like so awesome.

[BellePepper]

Eeeee that reasoning does not make me feel any better. Why does it matter so much if you're having sex or not? It's like you can't just be happy for other people and do your own thing?

[Scrambled]

Ok... well what happens if I want sex? that's the thing I want to do? I am happy for people, don't get me wrong but you must understand that sex is very important to a human. Every psychological theory mentions this (and many people get psychologically damaged due to lack of this). In summary, I am angry at who I am.. its like a self hate that I can't get what I want. Many men can't admit its them and project that to other things.

[BellePepper]

That is surprisingly deep and sad that you're in a situation where you feel like you can't like yourself. Sex is so dependent on others that you can't place too much value in it. Your selfworth comes from inside you not other people.

[Scrambled]

Lol... surprisingly deep? Im the deepest person on the planet unfortunately. I channel this through song writing. Im bringing out this very strange album and the funniest thing that I had to explain to my singer is that the songs are really cool but the lyrics are dark as hell.

[MargaritaPeach]

Sympathy? Hmmmm... I would think probably because losing your virginity is something fabulous, incredible, exciting, fun, and very worth waiting for. It's not something that garners sympathy! Unless you're doing it very, very wrong.

[Scrambled]

Exactly... my question implies Not losing virginity. Like you said... its fun, incredible exciting etc, so do you blame men for being angry for not getting it/ or even complaining that they not getting it? Most women just say that men must get over it and just live life but its really tough when you are actually saying that you missing out on all those good things you mention above. It makes it worse when that same advice is given by a person who makes it a big deal in other ways.

[MargaritaPeach]

I see... I thought you meant sympathy for how/when/where and why men were losing their virginity. If you are talking about not getting lucky, then you/they have my sincerest condolences. First time, or any time spent in between.

[Scrambled]

Truthful... amen sister. I will tell my "downstairs" you send your condolences. He needs to hear these things sometimes. Feel sorry for the guy.

[MargaritaPeach]

Yes, please do! Introduce him to few ladies for me lol

[Scrambled]

Lol... thanks... will try. I just need to dust off the cobwebs and chase away the daddy-long-legs down there. I think if I had to get a boner it would sound like a creaking door opening slowly ha ha

[dbkiykwim]

I think it's a bigger deal for men. They end up doing most of the work anyway.

[Scrambled]

Lol... yeah... I truly appreciate the word "work" when it comes to guys and relationships. Go look at the price of a high class escort, just for curiosity. Its like a couple of thousand dollars for a weekend for her company. It begs the question: Is it easier to make a shitload of money (a hard feat in itself) and just pay for it? or actually put up with all this hard work just so that you have a potential gf that you actually like. Some rich guys seem to prefer the former... maybe they rich for a reason.

[dbkiykwim]

I meant with sex. Most girls are content just laying there.

[Scrambled]

Ok... never knew that.

[been_waiting]

Um... usually when a girl tells a guy virginity isn't a big deal, its because he's freaking out about being older than 16 and still a virgin.
She's not saying "your virginity carries zero significance! Ha!"

[Scrambled]

You get guys shot down that are 25 and over. Barring sex workers, Im basically virgin but keep getting told to "not worry about it"

[been_waiting]

You don't make much sense when you type.. Like I said when a guy says "pooooor me I'm such a loser I'm 22 and a fucking virgin" the girls will say not to worry about it, but they're not saying "haha ur virginity means nothing! !"

[Scrambled]

Apologies.. the grammar does go when I have a lot of typing to do;) But not worrying about something means its trivial and hence not special. Its the same as me coldly telling a girl to shut up about their regrettable firsts or past. It doesn't matter. Just sleep with whoever as virginity means nothing. Just get over it.

[been_waiting]

They're telling them not to worry about being a virgin. They're not saying you should sleep with whoever

[Scrambled]

Im saying that sleeping with whomever shouldn't be a problem for you ladies as much as not worrying about virginity should worry guys.

[been_waiting]

Well that's not what you said in your question. Whatever, you're always whining about being victimized on here so I'll just leave :3

[Scrambled]

I never said I was victimized;) Im highlighting what happens. But I am going off track. But just be more... educationally open... to a guys desperation when he can't lose his v card.

[atomique]

Live life, have fun and don't worry about it.

[Scrambled]

Im not worried about it, just an interesting notion. I get plenty of sex workers to get my kicks off.

[Scrambled]

And two girls upped your advice ha ha... its exactly what im arguing against.

[atomique]

It just the way I live.

[Scrambled]

Good for you man... and its Friday . Good times. You can be that dude jamming on the dance floor and I will be that dude drinking by the bar;)

[atomique]

I don't dance or drink. Friday night starts at the gym

[Scrambled]

Hope its not leg day! Makes the weekend activities sore.

[Anonymous]

It is of my oppinion to where I would say I want to wait, I may not be a committed religious but I try. I disgust myself anyway so maybe not even them. Of course if you were to have sex I'd say even if a 'quickie' make sure you at least have a little more than an interest of someone's oppinion. A guys v card is just the same as a girls to me, but I think everyone has the right to do as they feel necessary within reason of course

[Scrambled]

I don't like your "i disgust myself" opinion. That is the core of why people struggle in life. You are worth more than that.

[Opinion Owner]

Well it doesn't matter either way, does it. All I mean is everyone should have the same education about sex, relationships, and when it is ok; afterwards everyone should consider their options and go based off of what the person feels is best for their interest as well as the other persons interest. Everyone deserves the same education and oppertunities but deserve different oppinions and choices

[Scrambled]

Its a wonderful belief. You are correct.

[Anonymous]

I've never heard that. Men are told by us not to worry about it?

[Scrambled]

I found several posts on todays GAG alone where women have questions about their first time, or sex history with guys they have had, and then just go to the guy below on THIS post and see what he says. He is guy but proof is there;)