Is 'RAPE FANTASY' a real thing?

[Anonymous]

I'm so bothered by this term. Why is it called that? Im pretty sure they can find another word for it. As a rape victim I just find it so fucking offensive. There's nothing exciting about being raped. It's fucking disgusting and brutal and just horrible. And people who say it's their 'fantasy' make absolutely no sense to me. Why can't they use BDSM or super rough sex?

[ldrccarter]

I want it. i like being dominated. And i like pain and always wanted to be raped. My boyfriend is nice, when we have sex he is so big it hurts. And i just say stop and hr stops. One time he held my arms above my head so i was helpess. Loveeee iT. For Valentine's day he's planning to rape me.

Im so so sorry that happened to you sweetie. That is so tragic. Wow. You are a strong woman for even asking this. Mad respect.

And im sorry im insensative about it. But i have always wanted to be kidnapped and raped. I like thrill and excitement and fear and domination of a bigger stronger man. I have never been raped before, but i want my boyfriend to do it.

And psychological pain.. I've been cyber prostituted before. and almost raped. But the cyber prostitution i imagine feels like rape. Not fun at all. i have beeN through so much shit nothing can compare to my past.

[LegendaryKioshi]

I can't even describe the way i feel about your statements. "For Valentine's Day he's planning to rape me." false? you're already consenting. You like rough, animalistic physical encounters. were you ever actually kidnapped and raped, I'm sure you'd definitely rethink your statements.

[Asker]

Once it's consented it's not rape anymore.

[ldrccarter]

Ok well legendarykioshi Yes. And actually, when i was 14, i had a bad encounter with a 31 year old man. I've been through real shit and i like it! sadly in the middle of everything the police came and arrested him and took me and interviewed me and took me to the hispital. so i fucking know what its like! Its jusy better with my boyfriend. And with my boyfriend i actually dont want sex. im gonna be in the state of mind where i dont want sex. And i told him to do it anyway. THAT is rape wheN i dont want it. Another thing, im sadistic and masochistic.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is a real thing and is a fetish for some, I dont agree with it in the slightest, never have and never, I'm an attempted rape victim from an ex partner and so would never say that it was right, it's something that's seriously wrong and sick. It's called that because that's what it basically is, role play rape, played out by 2 consenting adults, I know because I'm into the BDSM scene and so know about this. I was with the partner and told him what I was and this is what he thought it was which is why he nearly succeed, obviously that ended the relationship and it took the longest time too get through it and back out there. I don't unders why it is peoples fantasy, as many others I don't agree with either. There truly are some sick, twisted, f****d up people out there

[LegendaryKioshi]

I could not agree more with how you feel. I believe people so carelessly throw this phrase out instead of explaining their, for a lack of a better word, fetishes. I believe what most people mean by that is that they like the idea of someone wanting them so intimately and so much, that in that very moment the partner ravages their body. It's all about dominance. They like their partner to be so aroused that they show a more aggressive side, a rougher side, in order to be physically intimate. For example, pinning their hands down, pushing them against a wall, roughly kissing them, rough sex, etc. I hope that cleared it up! :)

[RestlessYouth_]

Yes, it's a real thing on one of my many fantasies. The thing is, I know you have negative thoughts about it given your experiences, but when it comes to sex people have a WIDE range of interests, also those interests don't reflect who they are nor their thoughts. For instance, I on all scenarios am 100% against rape and even lead a group on my campus for prevention and to educate people on the real effects of rape, but my fantasies have nothing to do with how I really feel about the situation itself.

[Asker]

Will you be consenting to it? It's not rape then.

[RestlessYouth_]

Hence the "fantasy".

[Dandeus]

Yes it's a real thing. A couple of the prominently suggested reasons are

1) blame avoidance. as a result of being taught that women aren't supposed to desire sex, fantasizing about being raped provides a scenario where they can have guiltless sex by having it forced on them.

2) Desirability fantasy. In this case, it's suggested that the woman fantasizes about being raped because she actually fantasizes about being so desirable that a man loses control and takes her violently. Obviously it betrays a lack of understanding about the causes of rape, but that lack of understanding is well known.

3) Plain old masochism. People have masochistic streaks sometimes, though not often enough to warrant this being the sole reason for the fantasy in my opinion.

[Dandeus]

I'm speaking about women who have rape fantasies in particular.

[Asker]

But rape isn't like any of these. It just isn't.

[Dandeus]

Obviously it isn't, but only rape victims *truly* know that. The subconscious doesn't always make sense. Most women who have rape fantasies wish they didn't have them.

[AustinMan]

People confuse things. As you sadly know so well, and I'm sorry it happened to you, rape is a crime of violence and NOT a crime of passion. The term, to women who have not been through it, means to be overpowered and dominated sexually. That's not what rape is at all but it's just a phrase, not an attack on you or an attempt to minimize what you went' through.

[rachelbrrtt]

I am VERY, VERY sorry for you first and fore most.

Second it's because people misunderstand what rape really is, so they lump things that are not rape (such as these fantasies) in with it.

It's the same thing with lots of things. Like diabetes. I have a friend that has type 1 and gets mad when people talk about type 2 because they are completely different things, but are lumped together due to people's lack of understanding of the topic

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Because it's role playing rape. That is exactly what it is.

People understand the difference between a fantasy and role play session and an actual act of abuse.

I'm afraid you will just have to get used to the term and find a way to deal with others using it.

[Asker]

Umm do you get that once she/he is consenting it's not rape anymore? So the term is illogical?

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Uuummm do you get that fantasy means it is never supposed to be real? It's playing rape. You seem intelligent, why are you being deliberately obtuse? You know the difference. It isn't trying to be an actual incident of rape, it's a game of power.

[Asker]

I'm referring to girls who say 'My boyfriend is raping me this Valentine's Day! Yay or something stupid like that'. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm not trying to be obtuse.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

That's very different. They do sound like ignorant assholes and making rape a casual thing to refer to. I don't agree with that mindset, making it a socially acceptable term in such a way. I find it hard to believe anyone would say that, but I don't generally suffer fools so won't listen to their crap. The kind of person who would say that does not sound like the average consenting adult who enjoys Rape Play. They sound like kids playing kinky to me.

[Asker]

I agree, and it just frustrates me so much because they make rape into nothing.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I understand where you are coming from despite my initial response. Rape should never be made into something casual and referred to in such an ignorant way, I totally agree. The thing is, when I talk about rape play I KNOW the difference. The people I talk with about it KNOW the difference and would never ever condone rape being de-sensationalised, society should not be de-sensitised to rape. It shouldn't be a casual reference for rough sex. That is ignorant.

[Caliiipacific]

My EX had a eape fantasy and honestly it was the scariest shit ever... If I ever heard a guy say that again I'd run, fast.

[Lyndsielee666]

I was raped when i was young and my boyfriend and i have done a "rape famtasy" type thing.
i think its different when its with someone you trust and love. If it gets to intense you have a safe word and Stuff.
so.

[Asker]

Do you get that when its not being forced or you're consenting it's not rape anymore? Why aren't people getting that?

[Lyndsielee666]

Yea i get that, I've been in the bdsm lifestyle for a while now. I do agree that they ahould find a different name for it.

[DodgersGM]

I hope it goes without saying this: what's happened to you is awful. It really is, and it's not difficult for me to imagine why the concept of a rape fantasy might be offensive to you.

The semantics do kind of make it seem like rape fantasy is about rape, but it's not. For most people, it seems more like fantasizing about a make-believe forced sex scenario.

They don't actually want to be raped, because rape is awful and disgusting.

[Asker]

Once it's not forced its not rape anymore so the term just makes them sound uneducated and idiotic. This isn't only about me, I've heard from multiple rape victims how offensive it is to them. And if you think about it, it really is.

[DodgersGM]

I agree. The term "rape fantasy" isn't the most sensitive to rape victims, and it also seems to misrepresent what those people want anyway. Kinda seems like a lose-lose to me.

[Klaatu51]

unfortunately many girl fantasize about being raped, but they don't know that rape's not a good thing actually...

[PiuBelloAmante]

i think that is very disturbingw as well, people have very corrupted sexuality

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yes rape fantasy not good and if your running into
them situations with guys you better stand your ground
you got to be bold. Don't let men walk all over you
yes rape is serious matter, there is men out here
raped, molested, abused. let alone women Smh

[ranma187]

Yes. ever read "My secret Garden" by Nancy Friday . It contains a long set of sexual fntasies by various women and some are rape themed. Another note on this: Ted Bundy, who is suspected to have killed over a hundred women. Had endless marriage proposals from women while serving time on death row.

[Asker]

Once it's consented it's not rape anymore. People really need to start educating themselves on what rape really is.

[JackKerouac77]

Seems like it is to some people.

Perhaps "really rough sex" is a better term.

[SomeoneImportant]

Technically, it doesn't exist. Because what is rape? Forced into sex that you want no part of. Rape fantasy is "wanting" the guy to forcefully take advantage of you. There's no "want" in rape. So it's just an unfortunate name for a fantasy.

[badboygood]

Regardless of what its called, I am truly sorry for you to have experienced such a horrible thing. There is no excuse and it is unforgivable.

[bakuro]

I agree with u as rape fantasy is not the right term n also people don't really like it but they really want is rough sex. .. Coz rape itself is much hurting rough n also abusive if some like it than they will wish to do that but most of don't like to have it

[ApostleCat]

I like to violently spank girls bottoms in my fantasy... not sure if it counts as rape thow :/

[Asker]

You sound intelligent...

[Cowboy6666]

Hmmm better to call it sex fantasy. Or force sex fantasy.. Much Simpler.. ;)

[Anonymous]

We fantasise about a lot of things, some of which we would never do in real life, some of which we would never want to experience for real. That includes rape. Some guys get off on the fantasy but would never do it. Some girls actually do get off on the fantasy of being raped, but never want to be raped.

What happened to you was a horrible tragedy but it doesn't give you the right to say what other people can and can't fantasise about. Or call it when they do.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry to hear you were raped.

But BDSM and rough sex are not the same thing as a rape fantasy, which is a real thing and is actually relatively common among women. Not to be harsh but you really have no right to ask people not to call it a rape fantasy because that's what it really is. It's not about you or your experience, it's about other people's sexual fantasies.

[Asker]

Oh really? Go ask any one of my these girls what it is they really want. Do they want to be taken by a man WITHOUT their consent, hit, pulled, thrusted into without any compassion? And end up with scarred tissue and bleeding for days? Oh and let's not forget the emotional pain that never leaves <--- this is what rape is. Rape is not being dominated with your consent, by a man you trust. And guess what? I feel I have every right to ask people not to call it that, not even for me but, for every rape victim out there. They don't need to hear that what happened to them is considered a fantasy. Imagine how that makes them feel.

[Opinion Owner]

"I feel I have every right to ask people not to call it that" I'm sure you do. It's part of the entitlement mentality that is so common today. You don't have that right though.

[Asker]

It's funny that out of the whole paragraph, you picked that to comment on. I wonder why that is.

[Opinion Owner]

Because that sentence embodies the problem with your mindset about this. As I said, I'm very sorry you were raped. No one should ever have to experience that. But you can't tell people not to use the word. You don't have that right and it really wouldn't accomplish anything.

[Asker]

I don't see why not, if in reality what they want isn't rape.

[Opinion Owner]

Semantics, technicalities, minutia. You're still wrong. You are not entitled to that.

[Anonymous]

Because rapes the biggest part of it. Taking someone against their will is the catch.
It's not a natural fantasy for most people, but it makes interesting p*rn .

[Anonymous]

I've sometimes fantasized about overpowering a woman and having my way with her. But I'd never do it without consent.

[Anonymous]

sorry everybody isn't thinking of you while they have their own personal fantasy. I'll be sure to think of you next time I fantasize.

[Asker]

You're too kind.

[Song4TheBroken]

I can guarantee if you were actually raped one day, that you wouldn't think it was so hot anymore. I hope it never actually happens to you but if it ever does reality will hit you like a bitch.

[Opinion Owner]

Actually almost did and I fucked the guy up he actually ended up running from me, and got touched as a teen by a local man. The fantasy is totally different. It's totally different. It's somebody you actually like and want to just take control of you and force stuff. It's different to real rape obviously dumbass.