Sexual Relationships
+1 y

My boyfriend can only "finish" once a day?

and he can either only finish in the first couple minutes or he won't be able to finish at all in that session. He can be erect for a long time, but he says if he holds off an orgasm, he quickly loses his ability to, but he can still "keep going." Then, if he does finish, we are done for the day. We can have sex again later, but no orgasm for him. He understands that I want to have sex all the time, and he insists on going down on me as much as possible to satiate that need (I would never request that he does, but I won't complain...) A part of me wonders if this is normal? I've never experienced this with a guy before. Normally we can go several times a day. Part of me feels bad that maybe he's not that into me?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'd think it's quite "normal". All guys are different, and can go through different phases too.

    For long, I've been happiest if I got sex once every 2 to 2.5 days. But when in new relationships, the (woman) partner is usually hyper-enthusiastic, so we're doing it once a day and sometimes more.

    After childbirth with my partner, I found it harder to climax (maybe it was the stretching of the vagina, or that she had lost her earlier interest in sex). Then we stumbled across doggie style and that helped.

    In her 20s, it was very tough for my partner to climax... Now, we use mutual masturbation a lot, and quite often she climaxes hard.

    Since I don't get regular sex, I sometimes masturbate and then get the opportunity for sex within hours. It sometimes becomes hard for me to climax in such a situation (in which case, I'd need to finish myself off by hand!)

    In short: there's no point being too dogmatic about such situations, but just play it by ear.

    I've also experienced the situation where I can easily climax in 5-7 minutes (if I concentrate on my own feelings and pleasure), but if I try to be considerate and make sure she climaxes, I usually tend to lose my ability to climax for myself. It's as if the heat of the moment is just lost, and then doesn't come back once again! So it's either her or me... I prefer the first.

  • Yeah, guys can have different refractory periods. It takes me a while to recuperate too. I can pull off multiple times a day if needed, but the first one is the only one that really feels good if I haven't had like 6-12 hours between sessions. It's just kinda numb otherwise, albeit operational. Well, I guess it's alright once I get there. Like you know how they say about traveling: "getting there is half the fun?" That definitely applies for the first round, but if she wants more like an hour later, I don't HATE it obviously, and there's a visually satisfying aspect, but as far as sensation goes, she's having most of the fun. Like if the first round is a 10, sensationally, a hurried Round 2 is a 6. Round 3 is just kind of painful. I remember having sex with my girlfriend in high school 5 times in one day, probably in a span of 12-14 hours, and after the second time, I was just doing it for the story, haha.

    • Hmm, actually just read your details more closely. So he can have problems getting the FIRST one off? That's a little... strange? I don't know. Everybody's different I guess.

    • No, not necessarily. His first one is usually his only one, and it typically happens really quickly. If he holds back, he doesn't finish. He is able to once a day, as long as it is relatively soon in the session. and then that is it.

    • if he doesn't cum, we usually try again a few hours later and he can do it, but he just can't be holding it off at all

Most Helpful Girls

  • This is normal. If you hold back to keep satisfying your SO then you run the risk of going past the point of no return and not being able to cum, or it takes a loooot of effort...

    The option from him that I can think about is to cum when he's ready.
    If he finishes before you then he can have some fun using toys on you or eating you X)
    Or maybe have a moment of foreplay so you can get even more aroused, so when you have sex maybe you two can come together (or at least have you finish first and then him, depending on the situation)

    Then again, a guy needs at least a day to replentish his goods. So letting him just pleasure you using toys or anything he things you might enjoy on some days, and have sex on others. Variety is good! :) Maybe that'll help improve this.

    As a last resort you can always go to a doctor and explain the situation, he or she might have a idea of what's going on :)

  • It's totally normal. It may get worse with age. My husband can only cum once a day and only in the morning. I hear with some guys they can only cum every other morning and I fear my husband is heading that way too. That doesn't in any way interfere with him being able to totally satisfy me any time I want him to. At least not unless I'm hungry for cum which unfortunately I usually am.

  • Im not sure how normal that is but if he's sure to try and satisfy you, that he really does like you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 5

  • I've had that issue once but only once really. It really varies from guy to guy. I usually have 2 rounds but everyone is different. If I have sex very frequently though it can wear overtime.

  • You are describing me. I have the choice between orgasm and duration. I would much rather make love for as long as an hour than be done in 5 minutes. Orgasm is easy for men, erection is where we lose control.

  • It's how his body behaves. Mine doesn't behave this way, so I can't really tell you if it's normal. At least he can finish, even if it's once a day it's better than nothing...

    Well, if he agrees, I think that seeing a doctor to try to correct it wouldn't be bad.

  • it's just as much as he can handle...

    oh well... better once than never... no? :-P

  • I doubt it's anything to do with you, but I'm not sure it's normal

  • Technically yes some guys can take 24 hours to recharge after finishing.

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