My boyfriend shows my nudes to his friends: what should I do?

I send my boyfriend a special nude pic JUST FOR HIM at least once a week but I recently got a message from one of his mates saying "Hey ***** showed me that sexy pic of you, have you got any for me?" and after getting more information I found that he shows his friends WILLINGLY! I feel like a complete slut that he can just pass around when I was doing it to please him and only him! I feel so ashamed :'(
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I disagree with 99% of comments here. Which ironically aren't all guys by the looks.

    That's because they are giving you a certain emotional cultural aspect they've learnt. but it's not a educated one Nor neccessaryily correct. As Culture (including morality) changes with times.

    Assuming this is legitimate query your boyfriend is neither bad nor good , right or wrong. It depends on your thoughts and the fact you ask here means you don't know your own thoughts. You're asking is it right or is it normal as in acceptable ie will people think better or less or me because of it.. In today's cultural vacuum the answer is prob no. but the real question is , is it natural and I'd prob say yes. is it fine to do it , hmnnm , that depends but probably. but have good convo with him.

    Let me explain
    For most of humans 200,000 years of existence we haven't been monogamous, we have been polygamous. meaning more than one lover. man invented religion and the church and the church invented monogamy in the last 2000 or so years. It's gone unchallenged because the wealthy capitalists under capitalist economic system uses it to help exploit people.

    Wether a body is clothed or naked depends on the culture you live in. Prior to civilisation humans only wore clothes to keep warm. In hot countries were western civilisation has not reached tribes people both sexes still run around topless or naked today. In Roman times 2000 years ago before Christ was invented woman wore togas only covering one boob exposing the other. Fast forward to Victorian English culture 200 years ago it was immoral for woman to bare their ankles. They had to be covered shoulder to ankle to go swimming. 200 years ago when europeans turn up to pacific islands woman were topless and woman offered to sailors as gifts (for sex not forever ) yet today thanks to that victorian culture driven by the church you can't find one topless native woman , not even at a beach and i live on one and have visited 3 others island countries.

    My partner and I are nudists and in apolyamorous relationship and we swing. she is happy being called a slut because we think it's a word for sexual liberation woman need to own.. some of the guys have pics of our play which is ok by us both. we do this because we have liberated ourselves from the vacuous morals of current culture and we worry about ourselves and our relationship separate from society

    I think celebs like Madonna , Mily cirus and Kim kardadian and runway fashion shows and topless protest in usa are pushing back against that unnatural prudish culture around nudity.

    I suggest you do the same and then evaluate the question again. Your boyfriend may not be disrespect you. he may be proud of you. but you prob have legit concerns around family or work who may see those pictures as we do. so chat your boyfriend and come to some agreement around the pics sent and any future ones.

    Get liberated !!!

    Let's us know how that and conversation goes

    M

  • I would dump him but not straight away for fear that he might just let loose and spread the pics around out of anger or something. He might of just showed his friends off his phone so there's a chance you could have all the pics deleted by confronting your bf and asking him to do so. After that it's up to you whether or not you want to leave him or not. Sit down and talk to him about it If you want to try to work it out... I'd leave him though, like days later to make sure the pics weren't saved on any other phone or computer.

    "at least once a week", damn O. o in this day and age pics and videos can spread FAST so I'd cut down on the nudes you send your next guy if you decide to ever do it again. You can be safe and sexy at the same time by sending seductive pics without your face in the shot. Like these but without the face
    www.music-bazaar.com/.../...CTIVE-PEARLS-cover.jpg

    s3-ec.buzzfed.com/.../...ed-21089-1394737893-2.jpg

    Cover up tattoos and scars: Anything distinctive
    Background can be compromising: Your bathroom or room might give you away if there items, covers, wallpaper, etc. that others know you have.
    Utilize the lights: Open a window and use the natural light at angles. Like this:
    41.media.tumblr.com/.../...y4ypGW1sx3zf0o1_250.jpg

Most Helpful Girls

  • As tempting as it is, DO NOT dump him UNTIL you know those photos are deleted. If he is willing to share them with friends when you guys are still together, imagine what would happen if you guys weren't together and he was pissed at you. I suggest faking that you aren't mad, talking to him, somehow getting his phone to delete them all.. then dump his ass. and if you have any photos of him.. well. you do what you want with them (:

    • I don't know his password to his phone, he won't let me touch it, let alone look at it.

    • then i suggest getting your hands on it, break it, and pray he doesn't have it backed up anywhere else. literally even if you just put it in water or smash it. this is just what i would do, a bit extreme, but pictures like that can ruin a girls life.

    • Thank you sweetie. I will be taking your advice to the extreme!

    • Show All
  • Don't feel that way, because he is your boyfriend and sorry to say this but your boyfriend is a dick for doing that he doesn't deserve you and you should tell him to stop and you should stop sending pictures because he seems very immature and can't handle a nude picture if he doesn't stop showing his friends you should brake up with him

  • What do you do? Stop sending him nudes and contemplate dumping his ass. This is why sharing nude pictures of yourself isn't a good idea. Obviously he doesn't respect you if he doesn't mind passing your pictures around to his friends and do you really want to stay with someone like that?

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What Girls & Guys Said

22 12
  • Delete them from his phone and get rid of him. If he's going to violate your trust with something as important as your modesty he obviously doesn't care about your integrity or outward projection to the world. A status symbol is used as such not a best friend/lover.

  • Aww love it's going to be ok his an ass and just know it's a lesson learn and karma will handle him. You should cut him off compete and make it look like you have a new bf it will be a slap in his face or just ignore me learn to not be gullible next time.

  • Break up with him.

    Instant violation of trust and one of the most disrespectful things he could do.

  • He doesn't deserve you. He's made it clear that trust and respect mean nothing to him and no amount of talking will change that.

    Dump his sorry ass, you deserve someone who respects the privacy of your relationship.

  • Then don't give him any more.

  • Stop sending him nudes.

  • You need to tell him it's not right. Ask him how you would feel if you

    • how he would feel if you were to show his nude body and penis to your friends? I'm sure he wouldn't like it. You need to tell him not to do it, request that his friends delete any pictures of you and possible, don't send him any more nudes. It's not necessary. Protect yourself, let him appreciate you in person. If he doesn't care, then he obviously sees you as some sex toy, not a girlfriend. You should leave in that case.

  • Never send nudes to anyone. I would have kicked his ass big-time. Then dumped him. He doesn't respect you or the exclusively of your relationship. Jezus christ what a douche.

  • Break up with him. If he respected you, loved you, or cared even a little bit, he would not dream of doing that.

    Dick move.

  • I have no words to explain how much sick and badass ur bf is but Your way to please him was wrong, that's where girls make mistake, if u please him with a wrong approach then how the result be good of it? Do u think a guy who pleased by nude can be of a good mentality? see this is the problem what most of the girls doesn't realize and make mistakes at this point, don't go too extreme to impress or please someone you are a girl always be careful for what u do, ur dignity is precious, girls must understand that how serious this issue is. For the next time becareful and if any guy respect u and really like u he will never ask u to do the strip for pleasing him, for now try to destroy his phone or u can just take out his memory card and break it if u know where it is, but please learn the lesson and becareful from next time never do this again, if u really care your dignity and u felt ashamed this time.

    • Good and genuine advice !

    • I am glad it helped, take care good luck and god bless you.

  • Stop sending nudes all together and break up with him.

  • Stop sending them to him... & tell him to fuck off (:

  • If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him to stop. And if he doesn't stop, he's not worth it.

  • AHHHHHHH SHIIIZZZZ that is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO messed up. He clearly doesn't respect your privacy that's not cool! I'd die of shame really, talk to him and if he can't respect that then be done with him. Not right at all, complete douche bag. I am NOT some slut that the whole world gets to enjoy, if you wanted be nude and have others see you then you would have become a p*rn star or naked model. Sorry hun, hope it works out, I HOPE THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME!

  • stop sending him nudes. get a new boyfriend.

  • Well he definitely shouldn't be considered as your boyfriend anymore. What a tool. Clearly he doesn't respect you. I would dump his ass.

  • Dump him. What a loser.

  • He doesn't care about you or respect you. Whenever a guy has a girlfriend who he values and cares about the last thing he'd want would be for other guys to see his girlfriend naked, he'd want that all to himself.

    dump him

  • Damn.. Never send nudes
    As for him.. He's not worth it dump him

  • If younsend them he is going to show them. He may stop for a while but you can be sure they will all be shown, especially after you breakup.

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