Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is this flirty female friend into me? Am I into her? Why do I sometimes fantasize about her?

There's this girl at my uni who is fun and I have become friends with. She is this talkative BLONDE and I do think she loves ATTENTION. I like how she is outgoing, but not how she seems to use people. She recently got out of a long distance relationship and started to date someone else at uni. But during both she has been very flirty with me (in terms of touching, texting me, seemingly jealous when I talk to other girls). I think she likes how I listen to her and give her attention? In the past she shows her cleavage when hugging me and put her feet on my lap and things like that. I didn't really see her in a sexual way, but as a friend. When she touches me like that though, I do occasionally think about her? I don't think I fancy her (I have a crush on someone else at uni), but when I was meeting up with her for dinner one day, I thought she did look hot in her dress. For some reason, when I sat opposite her, she asked me whether I could come and sit next to her instead, "so she could be close to me". Then whilst eating, it's something about her mouth, the way she licks her fingers, it's kinda a turn on? She put her bare feet on my lap at one point and I really felt aroused by it. I'm meeting her again soon. Thing is this, is she trying to keep me as a BACKUP? She doesn't seem keen for me to meet a hot girl who I like and she knows. For some reason, I find it hot to masturbate about this blonde friend. I don't think I fancy her. I really don't see her as my type. And I'm a virgin and so don't want to get off with her. I feel guilty because it's like she has me as a backup and it feels dirty to think about her, but I LIKE IT for some reason? I mean I masturbated about her twice yesterday, and I feel HORNY if I see her picture? I don' see her as a girlfriend though. I am annoyed because I seem to find thinking about her MORE AROUSING than my crush? Thinking about this blonde friend giving me head is so hot? Is she into me? Am I into her/advice?
You're fine. You see her only as a friend. You did nothing wrong. Masturbating about her is normal. It doesn't mean anything whatsoever. Continue if you like.
Vote A
You have sexual, not personal desire for her. Masturbate about her if you wish. She may be into you. Don't hold back , just enjoy it.
Vote B
She's manipulating you. Don't give her the satisfaction. Pretend you don't like it. Masturbate for now and wean yourself off her.
Vote C
You don't want her to be your first, but after that consider her as an option. Don't feel guilty about the masturbating.
Vote D
You do like her. That's why she gets your aroused quicker. Does your 1st matter? Masturbate about her and advice below for getting physical.
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
PLEASE GIVE A REASON FOR WHICH WAY YOU VOTE. Whilst I enjoy her company as a friend, I don't think I fancy her and I certainly don't see her as a girlfriend or want her to be my first. The sexual desire/arousal about her is really strong though. I found a p*rnstar who looks like her and find it really hot to fantasize about. Why do I find blondie AROUSES ME SO QUICKLY? Why does she seem keen that I don't date and meet up with her instead? What was with the FEET ON LAP and SUCKING?
+1 y
Do I like this blonde friend (L)? Why do I seem to enjoy masturbating about her now? It seems to be only her giving me head that really turns me on. I prefer a different girl, and I have fantasized about her as well. It's just that what L did, when I replay that, it turns me on so much quicker than anything? Is this what she wants? How to think about my other crush again and what do you suggest doing?
+1 y
Let's call blonde friend L and a girl I like V. Thing is I want a girl more like V and think she is prettier and nicer. It's after L did these things that I began to replay them in my mind and feel turned on. I guess this is what she wanted to stop me thinking about V? At a dinner with friends discussing girls I could meet, one person suggested L introduce me to V. "SHE'S NOT HIS TYPE" L said and changes the subject quickly? I need L's help to meet V who is on L's course! ADVICE?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • The way I see the writing on the wall and all here, dear, you and "L" do Not have any Commitments with Anyone, so no harm in Flirting or even Fantasizing right now. She is Obviously not into a hooked at the hip relationship and I do not see where she 'Uses' anyone, so don't think that. She likes you enough to put both her feet and paws on you so if you enjoy it, don't feel guilty, no one says you have to bed her down or make her a bride.
    You have the kind of girl in "V" that you are surely looking for in the future. You have a Sexual attraction for "L" and no harm or sin it. You are a normal, natural acting man with desires and even when you 'Beat' to her, it's in the privacy of your own domain,
    Go lite and sweet with "L" and if you just want to hang out with her, then go for it. If not, continue the fun with her flirting and unless you get Exclusive and Official with a girl like "V" tomorrow, Today you are a free man and a free bird, no birds of a feather with any one girl.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thanks so much for getting back. You are very wise! I get your point, but I think L might have a long distance bf, although there is some talk of breaking up (she asked me about this as well, but apparently is interested in someone else at uni?). I never thought about L until she did those things, and now suddenly she enters my fantasies a lot? I did enjoy her putting her feet on me - it got me so excited I can't describe it? Also the way she sucked her finger whilst looking at me.. I mean literally I can't get that out of my head and it is unbelievable how quickly that memory arouses me. L has suddenly become my most arousing fantasy for some reason? Thing is I don't think I fancy her and I prefer girls like V who I find have a more awesome personality and also I think are prettier? L feels dirty, although it is a very hot kinda dirty? I feel so confused?

    • Do I have some desire deep down for L? I think she does like attention and others have noted how I seem to be one of the only patient people with her (most people think she is too talkative). I have to say that I do find how she likes to be around me or take care of me quite nice. But she does seem to take me for granted and also curiously I seem to meet less hot women when I am with L? She never invites them to hall parties, despite being taken herself? I mean what do you make of what she said about V in my last update? L even got invited to V's birthday, but didn't invite her back - was that deliberate so our paths would not cross? I kinda like hanging out with L so I get to look at her, and I seem to yearn for her to put her feet on me. But I haven't really flirted with her. I feel confused as I don't think I want her, yet my body reacts in an excited way to L?

    • Do you really think it is attraction or even sexual attraction? I mean, I feel weak to find L attractive as she is not really my type nor of my origin (family reasons). I think V is prettier, but it seems to be very arousing to recall what L did and I erm.. even find imagining a p*rnstar lookalike is L to be very pleasurable. For some reason, despite having been avoiding her recently, seeing L's picture gets me so horny that it is incredibly hot to 'beat' to her and I try to make myself last so as to intensify and prolong the hot feeling about her whilst imaging her looking back at me? I always seem to imagine L giving me head? But the thing is whilst it arouses me so, I never seem to want to finish/cum about L. Does this mean something? Since I always feel happy at orgasm with other fantasies? What do you make of this and what to do about meeting V who is on L's course and whose building I don't really know? Thoughts?

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  • look darling you are overthinking this. its is either she is manipulating, or its her way of showing how much she likes you as a friend, but it is most likely manipulating you into making you her back up plan. its is a basic rule if you don't see yourself with her than you DONT like her. feeling horny about a girl is a defiant natural thing to happen but having feelings for someone in particular is real special so keep hold of your crush and forget this blonde you are only horny because she is attractive nd and guy in your place will feel the same way. besides i highly doubt that she likes you she seems like a girl with guts and if she did like you she would have told you to your face.

    • Appreciate this thanks. Let's call the blonde girl L and the crush V to make it simpler. So in the first case, is L manipulating me to make me stop thinking about V? Am I becoming her back up then. And in the second case, she wants to show she likes me as a friend, could you explain? I don't see myself dating her no. It's just that I prefer V who I think is hotter and more my type of girl. But after L did those things.. I almost yearn for her to put her feet on me again. And I seem to like seeing her and find it hot when she's around. The way she sucked her finger.. the fantasy of L doing that is hotter than anything else for me now. I mean I end up feeling so horny that I love masturbating about her now. Why is it I find it hotter than my fantasy of V now? I don't want to like L and feel dirty thinking like this, yet I seem to enjoy it? by the way, V is on L's course, and L was invited to her birthday. Is she jealous of V and doesn't want us to meet? Thoughts on above?

    • well yes L is manipulating you. and you are her back up plan. maybe she finds you attractive but i highly doubt that she likes you because she would have told you and her actions say so. she's being a player and thats about it. you are just dwelling on the thought of her you think you seriously feel hots for her but if you stopped meeting her for a long time i am sure you will forget about her in no time. this is really natural trust me. it is only because she has done things to turn you on and i guess V didn't but if you think bout it this way if V did turn you on i am sure you wouldn't even be thinking of L. it is also natural for her to feel jealous she may want you all for her self even if she doesn't want to date you, girls tend to do that at a times.

    • I see your point. So L maybe using me. What does she gain from that btw? I don't understand.. she's meant to be my friend. So she wants to stop me meeting V in case we hit it off? What can I do given L (my friend) doesn't seem to be helpful in meeting V (on a different campus not mine). At a dinner party, she once changed the subject quickly ONLY when V came up saying "She's not his type." Agreed, I would be so happy if it was V instead. I do think she is so pretty. I don't know why i seem to think about L now. That's why I feel dirty. But the thing is that whilst I regret it, I seem to enjoy masturbating about L. I find myself feeling a little horny if I see her.

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  • she is just using you for attention but doesn't really want to commit. she will do just enough to keep you interested but at a distance. she doesn't want to lose you to another woman because you give her a source of Narcissistic supply. look up NPD. see if she fits the bill. if she does, trust me RUN. I have dealt with NPD before and it's not good. she will turn your world upside down the throw you away. and when she gets board with her new target she'll come back to fuck with you some more

    • So she's just using me? Did she want me to start masturbating about her? I mean when she put her feet on me that was suggestive wasn't it and the finger sucking? I didn't think of her like this till she did that. At best she was a friend, but I am beginning to doubt that now. Does she really care for me if she doesn't help me with my crush (who is on her course) and instead seems to try to put herself in my mind? Why is she now the most arousing thought and I can't think about other girls now? I'll look up npd.. She definitely is an attention seeker for sure. Does she want me or wants me as a backup? Isn't she selfish then and would she ever help me meet my crush?

    • my opinion without knowing her is that she is either insecure and needs to make sure that she is adored and desired by different men even if she has no intentions of being with them or... she is a narcissist and you are giving her a source of "supply" to her ego. if you move on she will lose that supply so she needs to find ways (ways that most women know by the way and use from time to time) to keep you thinking about her so she can get attention from you whenever she needs it or when another supply runs out or moves on. it's both very complicated and very simple. either way she is keeping you from what you really want and when it comes down to it. who would you rather see happy? her or yourself?

    • You have a really good point!! She is exactly like this. So she just wants attention right? What a narcissist indeed! I mean, she does tend to try and do things when she is loosing it. You're right, I thought she was my friend but she is just using me. It seems really selfish tbh. I would never do that. How do I escape this now? I prefer my crush (V) but now seem to find it more arousing to think about this narcissist (L)? Would she ever help me meet V who is on her course? Have I done anything wrong? I didn't ask her to do this stuff. I don't want to think about her, but seem to find it hot. I don't want to supply her ego! She's a selfish girl. Maybe that's why I only fantasize about her being submissive to me? Thoughts on what to do?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Don't masturbate to her. The more you feed desire, the more it grows. If you hadn't thought so much about her physically to begin with, I don't think you'd find her so arousing now. She's totally playing you, and I think you know it. She wants to turn you on, but if she was really into you, she'd leave her boyfriend and ask you out, right? I think she's doing it because she likes the attention, likes knowing she has this power over you. If she were really a good friend, I don't think she'd be doing this to you.
    You seem to feel a lot of sexual desire for her, but it doesn't sound like romantic desire at all. Is there anything you love about her personality? If you do love her personality, and find it something to be attracted to, then it's a crush. Otherwise, you don't fancy her; you fancy her body.
    Don't beat yourself up over it; guilt isn't the answer; just learn from her mistakes, drop her from your fantasies, and focus on someone healthier to focus on

    • I see your point about desire growing. True it's almost as if the fantasy of her (L) giving me head has gotten stronger. I actually seem to find myself aroused more powerfully and quicker thinking of L than of my actual crush (V). Is this what L wanted? I partly feel dirty for letting her have power over me, but it feels hot to think about her. You're right, if she was my friend she wouldn't do that and would have asked me out. She is actually on V's course and when discussing girls for me in a group, when someone suggested V, she quickly changed the subject in panic saying "she's not his type". She does love attention true. I don't really like that about her or how she uses people. So I guess it's not a crush? I do like how she seems to want to spend time with me or sit next to me. I also like to see her to see her face. Now I seem to yearn for her feet on me or her to suck her finger again!

    • I feel dirty after thinking about her as she is not really my type I would prefers girl like V. Also it's my first time do i don't want that to be L. I can imagine she must be a wild girl and lots of fun, but I don't like being under her control. Did she block me meeting V? I don't know how to meet her without her help (V is on another campus). I don't know what to think or do. I keep having this fantasy of L giving me head and it is really really arousing. I ended up masturbating about her a few times this week. I got horny at her picture and then looked up a p*rnstar who looks like her. She only touched me on three or four occasions and sucked her finger once, yet I felt instantly aroused by her and now struggle to fantasise about V clearly? Would appreciate your thoughts?

    • Please I'm so confused!

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  • Crap i meant to put C. In the long run you will regret this and you would have wanted to lose it to your crush. This girl has been around the block a few times and she knows what she wants. What she wants is you, without a doubt. Now its up to you to decide if it is worth it to lose your V card to this girl or to your crush. Its a choice between easy and hard. Personally I'd go for the easy but I no longer have the V card and thats an easy choice for me. Otherwise this crush better be goddamn awesome.

    • I agree in the long run it will be better to hold off. I think I know that and that's why I have kept calm. It's really hard, I feel so horny when she puts her feet on my lap and especially when blond girl sucks her finger. I don't want her to be my first though. I don't really want to fancy blond girl. I prefer my crush who is more my type and in my opinion hotter. It's just for some reason I find it more arousing to masturbate about crush. It feels dirty and I can't stop thinking about her giving me head. I regret it afterward though, but yet I still feel horny if I see her picture and love to get off to her p*rnstar lookalike? Is blond girl doing this to prevent me meeting crush? She knows her you see. Why is it I suddenly think about blond friend in this way?

    • * correction: I meant it seems to arouse me more to think about blond girl than crush. Is it because of the experience? Thoughts on above?

    • Yes, ultimately you are feeling this way because you have developed a bond with this blonde girl, she may be interested in you simply because of you wanting this other girl this makes her feel inadequate, she then has to prove herself to herself that she still can be noticed by you. If she does this then she will feel relieved and move on, by that time your crush may have lost interest in you or just given up because you went after her. And you will be left standing with no one by your side and no girl to chase after, make a decision, and follow through with that decision, unless you make no decision in that case they will just go away.

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What Girls & Guys Said

38 3

  • She sounds like a real tease and player dude... id stay away... she is with someone... that it's self is a reason why you need to stay away from her... all she seems to be doing is trying to tease you and tempt you, she probably knows she's getting you really horny lol seeing as she puts her feet on your lap (which is where your penis is), she is bad news and as you said she uses people... she can't have a boyfriend AND sleep with guys at the same time... she sounds like she just wants her wine and her cake... lol, boy is she gonna find out she can't do that... reminds me of a guy i had a fling with who i have an intense deep sexual attraction to... don't let her use you as her side piece.

    • Very good points. She does seem like she is teasing me. I wonder whether it is because my crush is on her course as well. Yes, I don't understand how she is doing this whilst having a bf. by the way, she hasn't told me she has one either (I heard she did from friends) unless she assumes I already know. Does she know she is getting me horny? I mean she put her feet on me three times - once was in public at a board game (I ended up faking a call and getting up after struggling to control myself), the second was at a bar where she asked whether she could (I stayed put and was loving the feeling) and finally at dinner. I mean I think I did get quite excited each time. It's when she sucks her finger, I literally love it. It's the hottest fantasy I have and even hotter than my crush? I feel angry and guilty for letting her control me. But I seem to enjoy the feeling of masturbating to HER? What do you think I should do given she's in my head (giving me head)?

    • NO! lol control yourself and just tell her you know she's trying to tempt you into sex and that she's attractive and everything but you heard she has a bf and if you do you don't want to be the reason the poor guy gets hurt because if he finds out it won't be her at the recieveing end of his fist lol, she may also lie saying she doesn't to get you to give in but i just wouldn't believe anything she says. I have no doubt she knows the things she is doing to tempt you (including sucking her finger lol), she's a right minx lol, so stay far far away and get her out of your system, she isn't who you really like.

    • I agree, she's not who I really like. But what should I do? I love thinking about her sucking her finger.. it's the hottest fantasy I have had of HER sucking me off. Suggestions?

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  • I think none of the above! See if she will be your first get it out of your system. DO NOT date her. Learn from her and move on. Come on what would be better than your first being a fantasy! This is a perfect opportunity to get the first out of the way without emotion and maybe learn something, for the person that is worth it!

    • So you think I should make her my first? I'm not sure I see her as my type though.. Is she worth it? How would I even let or make it happen with this blonde friend? Why do I find the thought of her giving me head more arousing than thinking about other girls?

    • Yes I think you should make her your first! Who cares if she is your type! When you say this"Why do I find the thought of her giving me head more arousing than thinking about other girls?" Come on you will get hard! Worth what? What is she gaining. And your first should not be wrapped up in love. I truly believe that is why 60% of marriages fail. They mix the emotions with the physical and can never look past it. Get yours, don't let her play you. Live out your fantasy and move on!

    • Stop thinking so much and live!

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  • I think that's because she's been putting herself in your line of sight and if she is an attractive female it's normal to masturbate to her image. It's kike masturbating to p*rn star or female celebrity.

    Just go with the flow and enjoy her friendship it might develope into something more or might not. Or someone else more interesting will come along

    • Thanks. The thing is it's unbelievable how aroused I get by her image? I keep playing back how she sucked her finger and feeling so horny imagining her giving me a bj? I seem to love masturbating to her picture as if she is looking at me? I don't want to fancy L and feel dirty, but it feels hot to get off about her. The thing is I feel weak as if she is controlling me and winning. What do you think about what L said about V in my last update? I prefer girls like V and need help to meet her? In terms of L I don't really like her personality, but seem to like seeing her so I get to look at her? I don't think I want to stay friends after this year cos she is very attention seeking. Also she said something very offensive, but I held back telling her off. Is it cos deep down I desire her? When I think of her it is always L giving me a bj? Thoughts?

    • What do you think?

    • Also how to meet V (pls see last update)?

  • I think that you find your "friend" to be very attractive in a sexual way and if she's hot than Im assuming your not the only one who thinks of her that way. It does sound like she is somewhat into you. I personally don't get touchy and flirty with my guy friends but if I like them I would start to. I think that it is totally fine to think about her in a sexual way but I also think that you most likely have a crush on her as well.
    One of my guy friends once told me there's the girl you want as your girlfriend and then there's the girl you want to fantasize about and have sex with. I think your "friend" is in between those two girls as of right now. However if you lost the concern that she might be using you for attention I think you would realize you like her a lot more than you think you do. Plus you can't have a crush on one girl and want to be with her but fantasize about being with another it will get messy and confusing.

    • Do you think she is into me or using me though. Let's call my friend L and my other crush V. I mean, I'm not sure I think L is attractive per say. It's just that I seem to fantasize about L after she touched me in a flirty way. When I see a picture of her now I feel a little excited? What makes you say I have a crush on L though? I mean I fancy V and have a crush on her. But for some reason, I find it really hot to masturbate about L. In fact it is a super turn on to think about L giving me head, that I find it arouses me quicker than any other thought about other girls? What do you think? I don't really want to fancy L and prefer someone like V who I think is prettier and also personality wise much more my type. BUT it feels really really really really hot to imagine L sucking me off. I can't describe how good it feels to get off to her. Even though it feels dirty, I still seem to want to do it again and I yearn for her to put her feet on me or suck something? Thoughts?

    • So you like L in a completely physical way now but have you really gotten to know her in an emotional way that could allow you to like her as more than just friends or more than just physically? I think you like V because she's very similar to you and a safe bet. But I think you are a bit nervous to like L because she may not be into you or because she's a riskier decision. You may really enjoy fantasizing about L because she is more "naughty" than V. If V is in your mind, prettier and you like her personality more than L. Then, I would say you just like the fact that L probably knows what she's doing sexually and you'd rather picture the dirty stuff than the innocent way that V acts. You may not like L emotionally you could learn to get to know her like that and decide that you like her. You haven't truly given her the chance to prove that she could be what you want more than just physically. She may surprise you if you giver her the chance. If you want V stop fantasizing about L

    • Sorry if the last sentence seemed harsh I got cut off for word limits. I just think that if V is who you really want you should give her your attention and not let L distract you. It would suck to have a boyfriend who likes you and is committed to you but may be fantasizing about his best friend. It also may cause issues in the long run if she were to ever find out or you called her by the wrong name in a moment of passion, it does happen. Hope this helps :)

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  • Thanks for answering my question. I think she lacks sex in her life and is trying to get sexual attention from you. If she really had personal feelings for you she would flirt in other ways likes getting to know you, or just be a lady aroun you so that she can impress you. But I think she is looking for a good time. As a guy, you probably don't have to worry about who your first is. Girls really tend to worry about that. I think ur feelings towards her is also sexual and not personal so you should probably let loose and enjoy. Don't take her seriously because she doesn't seem to be taking you seriously.

    • Of course, hope I helped. So is she (let's call her L) trying to seduce me or just teasing? What do you make of what she said about V in my last update? I mean L is meant to be my friend. In terms of my first, I don't know, I would like it to be with someone I connect with and find beautiful. I don't really think of L in that way. But I have no idea why when she put her feet on me, now I keep thinking about her. Why is it I get extremely horny seeing her picture? I mean I ended up masturbating to her looking at me and remembering how she sucked her finger gets me so turned on? But I don't like to finish thinking about L? I seem to get intensely aroused by L now for some reason. Does it mean some desire for her and how do you mean I should let loose?

    • I think L is def trying to seduce you because she enjoys getting that attention. If she knows you're a virgin, then she wants to be the one to corrupt you and sort of dominate you (seems like she might be the dominate type of girls). As far as what she said about V, I think she sees you as a friend but doesn't like the idea of you wanting someone else. She seems like she wants to be a "dominatrix" type with you, and seeing you want someone else is a no-no for her. She wants you to want her, physically and emtotionally, even though she might not feel emotional for you. It's an ego thing I think. So that's why she doesn't want to introduce u to V. I think if you want V, you're going to have to find another way to get to V, and not through L. Because chances are, L will purposely try to mess things up for you so that you don't get V, and make you want L. And she will keep trying to seduce you and I guess "manipulate" you as long as you let her. I don't see her helping you.

    • Cont.. So you have 2 choices: 1. You can just "let loose" meaning not get emotionally attached to L and enjoy the sex with her until you get tired of her (because clearly that's what's she's asking for), or 2. You can drop L as a friend and find some other better way to meet V, without L's "help".

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  • She's used to having her way, and tesing young guys. She knows she's attractive, but wouldn't be interested in some young guy except as a way to pass the time and see what she can get out of you.

    Try thinking about someone less flashy and more down-to-earth, who might be seriously interested in you.

    But the way she carries on, anyone would be tempted!

    • I mean we're the same age, but yeah I guess she loves attention and is used to getting her way. Apparently I'm one of the only people who listen to her. Is she doing this because I seem to resist her? I mean we're friends, but she seems to try to block me meeting this other girl. Also is she trying something?

  • I say that its a mix between b and c. She is manipulative, as you stated she is dating someone, but for some reason she is trying to control you as well. I wouldn't make her your first , your first should be with someone special. You know your own feelings, because you clearly say you don't like her, can you see yourself with her long term? Think about it like that, if you to were to date most likely it would only be sexual. In this situation her body language gives you all the answers you need.

    • That's a good point. Yes I believe the 1st should be special. I don't see her as a long term friend no. Nor as a gf tbh. I don't know why I think about her. Does it mean I like her if I masturbate about her? I mean I literally find it hot to think about L sucking me off? What do you make of what she said about V in the last update? Thoughts on deep down what I want? Also what to do?

    • No, you dont like her, you're sexually attracted to her and there's nothing wrong with that. The only thing she's giving you is sexual energy so of course eventually you're going to start to think about it and thats what she wants. As for the thing she said to V thats just her tryimg to control the situation and thats not ok for her to do that. I think deep down you want to meet a nice girl who is gf material just like everyone else. I think you should continue forward with the person you feel you can have something more with than just sex, so if thats v then you should go for it.

    • It's just how do I meet V given L seems to be the only avenue? They're on the same course (they're building is only for them). V invited L to her birthday, but L didn't reciprocate. Was that to stop us meeting? I get angry at myself for feeling so turned on about L. I mean I feel so horny when masturbating about HER. Why is that the case? But then why do I not want to finish/cum about her? I do want to meet a girl like V, but feel like selfish L wins?

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  • From what I have just read this girl is craving your attention!! Or any attention she can get!!

    I know, from my own personal experience (I am no where near as bad as this girl haha) but when I go out out, I like to wear low cut tops/dresses to get attention off men - NOT to sleep with them/kiss them, but I like to feel noticed.

    Perhaps because she has come out of a long term relationship she feels lonely and because you are showing her attention she may think that you like her.
    You will only know if either of you have feelings for each other if you take a step back from her and not make contact, if she keeps harassing you she likes you!

    And about the masturbation.. I think it is lust rather than love!
    Once she allows you to sleep with her, I highly doubt you will stay interested! You are just dreaming of the thought of being intimate with her.

    • This is solid knowledge! Yes she was wearing this tight fitting dress. She'd just come from an interview, but she did look pretty hot yeah. I think she does like the fact I give her attention yes. Others thinks she talks too much. She often texts me saying she wants to see me and asks me to come to her flat. But nothing ever happens. I don't really want to fancy her.. I mean I find my crush hotter than this blond girl (let's call blond L). L is not really my type. Girls like crush are more who I find pretty. I only thought about L when she put her feet on me, it's like it set off a reaction in me. And then when she sucked her finger, I found it hard not to think about her. Literally, for some reason I find it hard to visualize girls when fantasizing, but thinking about L giving me head seems to arouse me more quickly than any other girl. Why is that? Why do you think I enjoy thinking about her even though I don't want to afterward, but then masturbate about her again?

    • Thing is I don't really dream of sleeping with L (blond). I dream about sleeping with crush and dating crush. And that feels good - both the dating and sleeping. With L, it feels really really really really really hot to dream about her sucking or putting her feet on me. It feels ok to dream about sleeping. It does not feel good at all to think about dating. And I don't want to fancy L because she's not my type and I want my first to be someone my type. I don't think I fancy L though. Thoughts expert?

    • What do you suggest?

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  • B) Sounds like you have sexual, not personal desire for her :)
    What about your crush? Did you ever think about her like you think about blondie?

    • You think so? I mean yes I think about crush - it's more of a romantic date and then passionate sex when I think about her. I do feel happy when I think about her and it excites me to see her in a good feeling kinda way. With blondie, it's a very specific fantasy. I feel very horny if I see her picture. Thing is when I think about her giving me head, it's a super turn on. I find it arouses me much quicker than other fantasies including crush? What do you think?

    • Also, what makes you say I have sexual desire for her btw?

    • Thoughts and advice if I find the thought of her giving me head really hot?

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  • She's a big flirt and attention seeker. She likes the attention you give her and it probably turns her on to get a little physical. I'd be careful not to get emotionally attached, which already seems you are not. It's not bad to have fun with it. Just stay focused and don't let her use you.

    • Agreed L is definitely like that. What am I to do though? I don't fancy her or like her personality. In fact she thinks that just because I tolerate her non stop talking, that I will listen to anything she says. She brought up a personal subject and essentially talked utter nonsense. I calmly corrected her and she sort of had nothing to say and looked stupid. But I should have had a right go at her. Why am I hesistating? I do like to see her as she's good to look at, but I am so angry at what she said about V as well. What do you make of it - it's in the update? I don't know why, but after her sexy touching with her feet and the sucking finger, I can't stop thinking about it. I get horny at her picture and masturbated about her again last night, despite avoiding her for two months. I want to meet V who I think is hotter and also personality wise more my type. But what to do given I am not on their course? Thoughts?

    • Firstly lets get this out of the way. I believe you said you are a virgin. Men love sex. It's just a given fact. Your body is just acting in a natural way and your mind is applying her to your desires. That could happen with almost any female that give you that type of attention. It's a bit erotic to you and thats why you will hesitate to just ditch her once and for all. A girl like that may never change. And she may not take you telling her to chill out the right way. But you need to do whats best for you. She will always be jealous of the girl you are crushing and try to make you see her differently because she wants all your attention. You definitely need to go talk to your crush and get to know her. If you two hit it off. The other girl probably needs to go. She will only cause lots of trouble.

    • Good point. Yes I don't want L to be my first time. I have been avoiding her, but it's really hard (literally) to not think about her? I got horny seeing her picture and was loving remembering how she sucked her finger. Why do I think about her if I didn't before and know I don't want someone dirty like her? Why does it feel sooooo good to masturbate about L? I agree about meeting my crush V, but did you see what L said in my last update? Also I don't know how to meet V, I passed her by accident once and have been praying to run into her again. But best bet would be her course building (which L shares). But access is only for their course not mine. I was hoping L (meant to be my friend) would have helped. I feel so sad, it's like L wins! Thoughts?

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  • When someone is teasing the hell out of you. Of course it's going to be hot as hell and very tempting. I do think L is just bad news mentally wise. Since she doesn't want u to have any other women. Maybe straight up tell her you don't want L you want V. Not sure how well it will go being extremely blunt with L. Just after a point a person gets to a breaking point. But you sound hopelessly hooked on L sexually.

    • Phew, so it's normal I got turned on? Why is it that L is now in my head giving me head? Literally it is unbelievable how turned on I get when masturbating about that. It seems to arouse me so quickly. But I know I don't fancy her. I also feel angry and weak at falling for all this. For one, I feel like she is stopping me meeting others, especially V (see last update). And L is meant to be my friend. Secondly, she said something slightly offensive and personal, and whilst I stopped her and I didn't have a go at her. Why was that? Is that why I now fantasize about her being submissive giving me a blowjob? How to discuss meeting V with L? When you say hooked sexually, are you sure? I mean it is so intensely hot to masturbate to her picture, but I don't ever want to cum about L? Thoughts?

    • Yes because men and women both get physically turned doesn't matter what it's of. As long as your seeing something sexual or think of it in a sexual way. Your going to get turned on even if you don't mentally feel that excited enough to have an orgasm. Probably due to her being the only one who has done it to you physically. Women tend to get turned on more mentally. Men are more visual when it comes to what turns them on. With anything sexual I think men and women do get turned on by the same type of stuff. It's fucken hot when your being the dominant watching the face expression of the person your fucking. Plus it's also hot being the submissive one where someone is being rough or in control

    • With discussing V with L straight up tell L that you rather be with V. Since you find V more mentally attractive than L. That if L is a true friend and truly cares about you as a person. She would help you out with meeting V.

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  • She seems like she is into you. Especially if she is putting her feet on you or touching you. It sounds like you started getting attracted to her. Just be careful though, because you could be just lusting for her or she is lustfully attracted to you.

    • So you think she likes me? Thing is I didn't think about her until after she did those things. I almost crave for her feet on my lap when I see her. And when she sucks, I find the way she does it so hot for some reason! I mean I prefer other girls at uni and they are more my type. I don't want this blonde friend (let's call her L) to be my first. But for some reason, I find it way more arousing to think about L. It gets me excited very quickly that I enjoy thinking about her. Why is it I find it quicker to get turned on imagining her giving me head? I feel dirty about thinking of L. Yet afterwards I still like to masturbate about what she did? It's the thought of HER doing it that is hot too.. But I know i don't fancy her. I prefer girls like my crush. Thoughts?

    • When you think of someone in a sexual way then it's usually means that your lusting for that person. And if you don't like her as more then a friend and would rather be around someone else then you have to let go of the thoughts of that person. She may turn you on, but if you don't feel like it's more then a lustful thought then it's not a good thing

    • ok… my opinion… it’s ok to find L hot or arousing. the body wants what it wants. maybe she is jealous of V and this is her way of showing it or wanting you to notice her and not V… which is obviously working!! it makes total sense that you fancy one person, but desire another. and how close are you and L? does V know that you have a thing for her? if you’re scared or don’t appreciate the way L is treating you, maybe stop hanging out with her. or if you’re up for it… just have her suck you off? maybe that’ll get the thoughts out of your head? you won’t be losing your v card!! and if you care about V, just ask her out and maybe your desire / lust for L will go away.

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  • Well I can't be sure without knowing her but I will tell you my opinion!

    I think she seeks for attention. She may really like you but she may doesn't like you but still wanting you to notuce her and make her feel "special".
    If you masturbate about her you surely find her hot! I don't know though if she is hotter then your crush?

    • Thanks for the thoughts! Agreed this blond friend (let's call her L) does seem to crave attention. I think she likes it because I listen to her. Lots of people say she is too talkative. Well.. thing is I didn't see her in this way until she put her feet on me and was sucking her finger. Now it's difficult not to think about her! I don't know.. I mean I don't want to fancy her and I don't think I do fancy her. I prefer girls like crush who is more my type. L is not really my sort of girl and I don't see her as a companion or my first time. But I find it such a turn on to think about her, it's hotter to masturbate about her than anyone else? Why is that? What do you think? Why do I find it hot to think about her?

    • Haha I think it is normal :) You found hot what she did and now you think sexually about her. I dont think you would see her as a girl for a relationship.

    • Yes I mean I find my crush hotter in my opinion. I would not want to date L (blond). Nor would I want L to be my first. It feels dirty to think about her and I feel sad because I think I like masturbating about her. I mean even though I want to stop fantasizing about her, I keep doing it and find it so arousing. It gets me hornier quicker than anything else including crush!! Why is that? And what does it mean?

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  • Do you get horny because of her or just use her as an image to masturbate to when you're already horny?

    • Let's call the blonde friend L and my crush V. I have to say that after L did those things.. I do get a little horny because of her and then use her image or the memory of her sucking her finger to masturbate. For some reason I now find L or her image arouses me so much more quickly than anything else? I feel dirty, but seem to enjoy masturbating about her? What do you think?

    • Well, it sounds as though she had intentions of making my feel like this, otherwise she wouldn't have made such gestures. She wants to feel wanted and she feels that's how she'll succeed in feeling that way. As for your feelings, it all sounds completely normal to me and I think maybe you're reading a little too far into it. Hope this helps :)

    • So what do you think about me finding her more arousing than other girls suddenly? It doesn't mean I fancy her right? Also I think she is taken in any case. Does she want me as a backup and not thinking about my actual crush?

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  • Lust and love are not the same. Sometimes it is easy to confuse the two at times. I believe there are times when a person will come into contact with a person that they are intensely attracted to, but that is the extent of it. That is what I have experienced for the first time with my friends with benefits , which, by the way, is the one and only friends with benefits situations I have ever been in. Whenever sex is involved, it seems, whether it be mentally or physically, it often blurs those imaginary lines we set for ourselves. Just my opinion, though. :)

    • Thanks! So are you saying in this case, I don't actually like L? What do you make of what she said in the last update and what can I do about meeting V who I do think I like? With L, why does she crop up in fantasies and how is it so intensely arousing to masturbate to her picture? I mean, I prefer other girls, ones like V or another girl on my course, yet L seems to arouse me so much?

    • Thoughts?

    • What do you think?

  • Do not mess with the taken women and if you know she's acting like this tell her boyfriend. He shouldn't be treated like this with her being flirty with other men and you shouldn't be someone's second choice.

    • Agreed, I don't want her tbh. I don't think I fancy her. The taken girl is L and a girl on her course (V) I think is much hotter. Could you check out the latest update pls? What do you make of what L said? Why is it that I seem to suddenly fantasize about L and get horny at her picture? I mean I masturbated about her sucking her finger? But I don't like to cum about her, what does this all mean?

    • Try to befriend V without asking for L's help because it might interfere with you getting with V, and while you're not romantically attracted to L you are sexually attracted to her.

    • I agree to try and meet V without or despite L, but how? I don't know anyone else who knows of her. And that building is restricted to their course only. I would love to meet V casually at a party or just bumping into her. Ideas? Why do you think I am attracted to L? Am I? I don't like to finish off to her, but find it so intensely arousing to start getting off to her picture or the mental image of her sucking her finger? Thoughts?

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  • She has a great libido I guess. She seems really... flirty, to put it in a nice way.. You should definitely go for your crush, though.

    • You have a point about the being really.. flirty. I don't know why but it felt really hot when she put her feet on my lap? And something about the way she sucks.. I can't stop thinking about her giving me head. I prefer my crush absolutely. It's just why do I find it really arousing to think about blondie? It seems to get me excited very quickly and I enjoy masturbating about her. But I don't want to fancy her and I am pretty sure I don't. Is she trying to trick me? What to do, since now I seem to get horny when I see her picture? Thoughts?

    • I don't find her my type tbh. But I find it so hot to masturbate about her?

    • Honestly, I don't know.. I don't masturbate so I wouldn't know how to give you advice on it. But yeah, you just really like her libido and her in general. I guess putting your bare feet on someone's lap/leg is sexual. I can see that. You're not weird for getting turned on okay? Haha. She's just some sexy girl haha

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  • i think you are not attracted to her as much as you think you are. it will wear off once you guys don't see each other regularly. The girl is young and craves attention so play along for fun but don't get serious unless someone reciprocates your feelings.

    • Really appreciate your response and advice expert! Phew, that is a big relief. Could you check out the latest update pls? It might help.

    • I agree with you totally that she likes attention. I think others find her way too talkative. I seem to tolerate her and she likes that I think. The thing is I'm a virgin and so am inexperienced with this kind of flirting! I mean I literally found myself excited when she put her feet on my lap. And when she sucked her finger at me, I can't get that out of my head now. I almost like to see her as I get to look at her? I have been avoiding her for a while now. But I get horny seeing her picture? For some reason, I know I don't want L, but find it immensely hot to think about her sucking her finger? It has become the most arousing fantasy for me to masturbate about L and I feel dirty about it. Yet it feels unbelievably good to do so about HER? Also what do you make of what L is doing with regards to me meeting V? V is more my type. I feel like L is winning and I don't know why I find it hot to think about L giving me a bj? Thoughts?

    • Thoughts?

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  • She's manipulating you, and you sound like your just attracted to her type in general.

    • So is she trying to keep me as some back up and stop me thinking about my crush? I don't think I'm attracted to her type though. I mean I prefer girls like my crush who I think is hotter. But why do I find the idea of banging blondie or her sucking me off in particular very hot? It's the most arousing thing when I fantasize to think about her doing that?

    • Yes you could be her backup guy, but it's hard to say. Just be careful, don't catch feelings for her to fast.

    • I mean I don't think I 'feel' anything for her. I don't like her in that way. But why do I keep replaying how she sucked her finger in my head and loving it? What is she trying... to make me think about her instead of my crush? Thoughts?

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  • i'm going to go with B... maybe she feels the need to get attention from her male friends cause she's not getting it from her boyfriends which is why she's flirtations with you. you did say she was in a long distance relationship yeah? there is nothing wrong with masterbating to her if you are aroused by her. to be honest, i masterbate to my male friends from time to time, doesn't mean i want to be in a relationship with them. if just find some of them attractive. it's natural!! and as far as the crush goes, go for her!! maybe it'll take your mind off blondie?

    • Thanks for this! So you think I have some underlying sexual desire for her? Yes it was long distance. She seems to crave attention. I do find it hot the way she sucks her finger for some reason and when she puts her feet on me, I feel so horny? The thing is I don't want to fancy her, but yet I find it so so arousing to masturbate about HER giving me head. It's more arousing than thinking about anything else? Is it all right to find this thought hot? Why do I find this so and thoughts on what to do? I can't get her out of my head. Is this what she wanted? I think she is jealous of crush. It feels dirty, but I now find it a turn on to think about her if I want to get aroused. Thoughts expert?

    • I find it difficult to visualize crush and now it seems easier and hotter to think about blondie? But I fancy crush.. does that make sense? Also in terms of my first, I like girls like crush, not blondie.. why is it then that I find it hot to think about the dirty/suggestive things blond friend did?

    • P. S. Let's call blonde L for now and crush V. Why do I find it hotter to masturbate about L to get myself aroused? I feel like she manipulated me somehow to think about her instead of V..

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