Sexual Relationships
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I lied to my boyfriend about my virginity: what should I do?

Well, when we first met I was quite young and pretty childish, and I didn't think we'd actually become friends and eventually date. One day, he asked if I was a virgin, and I said no (and I am). I really didn't think we'd ever talk again, and I sort of invented a boyfriend (it was a guy I'd usually go out with but never really wanted a relationship with him, and I told him we dated). It was years ago and I was too embarrassed to tell him I lied, so I kept going with the lie. Now, we're dating and we're shortly having sex. I've always watched p*rn and masturbated, but I fear that he'll realize I'm a virgin and I don't know if I should just tell him the truth - he told me the other day that if he ever found out I lied to him he'd break up with me and hate me forever. What should I do? Thanks for the help!
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • A man should never ask his girlfriend about her sexual past or vice versa. It doesn't matter in the least. She is now with him. It is always best to keep you sexual past to yourself even a virginal one. If he does ask about this, tell him you don't want to talk about it and take it as a red flag in the relationship.

    As for what to do now, don't worry about him finding out. He won't find out unless you tell him. Don't bring up this topic again.

  • It's important that he's aware it's your first time so he knows to be slow and gentle. Otherwise it's not going to be good for either of you.

    I strongly doubt he'll be mad, if anything he'll consider it a positive. It's much better than if you had told him you were a virgin when really you've had sex with 15 guys.

    • Yeah, I used to think that... I remember when I told him I "wasn't a virgin", he told me he valued a lot girls that are virgins. But I've asked him recently what he prefered, and he said "an experienced girl". He even says that I'm too conservative - according to him, by the way I look he'd have guessed I've dated at least 5 guys, and I told him I only had one bf. Therefore, I'm nervous that he'll find me unexperienced and a liar.

    • I don't know I think it's in your best interest to tell him because otherwise he might be too rough and hurt you. I really doubt you'll be able to fake not being a virgin. Just tell him what you told me, that you were embarrassed and that you thought he prefers experienced girl s so you lied that you had experience. As long as you're honest and sinsere he should be willing to teach you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • That sounds a bit childish to say he'd hate you for lying to him. Since you were young he should understand that you lied for whatever reason you did. I once told a boyfriend I wasn't a virgin when I was, so I avoided sex.

    • It is quite childish indeed...

    • Just sit him down and say "I need you to listen to what I have to say" and include the whole I never thought we'd end up dating etc..

  • He does need to know the truth before you ever have sex with him. You need to be forthright and honest about your sexual experience, your sexual knowledge, your fetishes (sexual needs) and kinks (sexual wants).

  • Tell him the truth, he might already have figured it out. But he will appreciate you telling him the truth. Telling him before is better than him finding out during/after.

    • I fear that he'll break up with me... He has trust issues and it was really hard for him to open up and trust me, and I'm afraid it'll ruin everything. What would you think it you were in his situation?

    • Just explain the whole situation to him. It's better to have lied about not being a Virgin than lying about being one. It will be really hard for you to do this. Just make sure he knows that you never thought you'd talk to him again when you first met him, and that you were young and stupid and wouldn't have said it now. It might cause problems and some trust issues, but you lied to him for a lot of years, he might think you've been lying about other things as well

    • Yeah, that's what I figured... Thanks for the help!

  • Just tell him. Everyone lies in relationships, everyone. A relationship couldn't last if you were always truthful with each other.

    • That's true - he lied me about something quite serious and painful. But he told me the truth just before we started dating and I wasn't able to tell him the truth... Tbh I'm quite embarrassed of being a virgin and never having dated anyone, but I've never wanted any person until him. I fear that he'll think I'm "a prude" (he often calls me that).

    • Just tell him. If he can't take it, do you really want to be with him?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 3

  • He is more likely to be happy than upset.

    • I hope so... He prefers experience over virginity though

  • you should tell him

  • What you have lost can't get back. Might he not be so expert to know about virginity. Or pretend of playing /jumping or masturbating.

    • but... I haven't lost it

    • Sorry I read it again, it was just your joke to him. Then honestly say you were lying at that time. Ask him to get the medical check up if he doubt.

    • What would be your reaction?

    • Show All

  • Just tell him ofc!! Or if u have masturbated a lot and broke your hymen then no problem don't tell him..

    • Well, I've definitely broken my hymen (lots of yoga, horseback riding and I have a dildo) but I'm afraid I'll suck at it...

    • No don't tell him and just act like what happens in p*rn ..

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