Why is my husband obsessed with looking at naked women on the internet?

[nawdysawdy]

My husband and I have been together for almost 2 years. Our sex life is very active, at least once to 2x a day. I've been very proud that he is/has been so attracted to me and always wants me. My ex was NEVER like that. It makes me feel so special and happy that he is so happy and into me. One day I needed a detailed data report from my cell company (we were blowing through data every month) I was so shocked and hurt.......he is online every day ALL day looking at naked women and p*rn . So with that being said, I now feel sick when he touches me and wants to sleep with me. I am now completely turned off. I don't know what to do. I asked him about it and all he said was, he's an adult he can look at whatever he wants. Became very defensive. I tried to ask if maybe I was doing something wrong or if I wasn't given him enough of what he needed. His reply....you know I love you. Not to toot my own horn but I'm a very attractive women. Guys want me all the time and I could probably have just about my choice of men. But I have no desire to look or interact with anyone but my own man. I'm just speechless and confused by this. He knows that I'd look at p*rn with him if that's what he wanted but he hides it and keeps things in a locked file. I don't know what to do or think. He has noticed that I've pulled away and have put a wall up. I can't help it now. I'm afraid it's going to cause me to not want to be with him. He says I'm over reacting and that I'm just insecure with myself. WHAT??? I can't be the only female who feels this way, right? What is wrong with me wanting my husband to be looking at and day dreaming about only me, like I do him? When we are together in bed or whatever, I'm only excited and wanting him...no one or nothing else, whats wrong with wanting that in return?? HELP?? Am I crazy for feeling this way???? What should I do???

[Anonymous]

You are reading too much into it. Him looking at p*rn has nothing to do with you or your relationship. The fact he does it privately also has nothing to do with you. This is about what he does when he is alone. It really isn't any of your business.

"What is wrong with me wanting my husband to be looking at and day dreaming about only me?" It is unreasonable. You only thinking about your husband is very rare. Most men and women will still fantasize about other people. You can't hold him to a standard most human's are unable to live up to.

Your husband is right that this has more to do with your insecurity than anything else. I understand why you feel the way you do, but it is unreasonable to hold him to such an extreme level. Your partner will not always be able to live up to your own personal standards in every area of your life.

"He knows that I'd look at p*rn with him if that's what he wanted but he hides it and keeps things in a locked file." This is not true. This is you grasping at straws to find reasons to be upset with him. Your problem with p*rn is that he is looking at other women. You have made that much clear. You wouldn't feel any better if he did it out in the open.

[Rawrzz]

Many women actually don't look at other men. Men have the innate desire for variety which will never go away. Women have it, too, to a lesser degree probably; though it usually takes longer in a relationship for it to form. Males and females tend to confuse each other, as OP has, because to her, if he was really into her, then he wouldn't feel the need to look at other women, as she doesn't feel the need to look at other men. She doesn't understand the separation between sex and love, because there is no separation to the vast majority of women. To women, the way they decide who to have sex with is through who they love, for the most part. Which makes them confused when men lack the need for love to derive sexual benefit. Men can have loving sex or meaningless sex. However, the vast majority of women cannot separate sex and love, because they are the same, to them. It's simply a physical urge: like having to pee. In essence, sex is physical to males and mental to females.

[Rawrzz]

I think what makes the confusion of desires really clear is the prevalence of online males who send a variety of sexual messages to females. The males are thinking "Oh, I would love it if a woman told me that she wanted to swallow my cock, so she must love it if I say I want to fuck her silly." They confuse their own desires for the other's desires. Don't see the separation between men and women. The difference lies in reproductive methods. Sperm and egg. Sperm is infinite. Eggs are much less available. Also explains a lot of other male and female behavior.

[Opinion Owner]

@Rawrzz Women don't determine who they have sex with based on who they love. They have sex with people determined on who they are sexually attracted to. Ask any woman if she will would have sex with someone she isn't attracted to and most of them will say no.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1854815-would-you-have-sex-with-someone-you-find-physically-unattractive

[AustinMan]

Sorry your feelings are hurt. First step, read this:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5423-why-men-watch-porn

Then realize that p*rn is about fantasy. He's not comparing you to them. A way to possibly make yourself feel better and make him happier is fantasy role play sex., the hottest sex there is, period.

Some questions

1. Are the two of you kinky?

2. Is he kinky but you vanilla?

3. Have you shared your darkest, dirtiest fantasies with him?

[nawdysawdy]

Thanks!

[AustinMan]

Anything else I can tell you?

[dakraziest]

well technically you are overreacting considering your sex life was great but he is in the wrong as well
i would suggest couples therapy or this tiny issue will end up destorying your marriage

[nawdysawdy]

yes it was great but because of me or because he's fired up with all this internet crap? I come home from work some days and he just rips my clothes off... why? because of the things he was looking at on the internet. NOT a turn on for me.

[dakraziest]

if those things on the internet would be turning him on, he wouldn't tearing your cloths off. Ask married women they will assure you that once a man is hooked to p*rn he literally hates his wife He has hots for you for sure, which means the p*rn is just his curiosity for adventures and an inspiration for him to try new things

[BertMacklinFBI]

well you're definitely not the only girl who feels that way. but im sure your husband has needs that p*rn seems to satisfy very easily, not you, which is why he indulges so.

[CootiesInfection]

yuuuppp i mean you can do the whole p*rno thing in bed and satisfy him or you can whine about it and do nothing its your choice

[CootiesInfection]

like everything in life, family guy has the answer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUcZZJR8cxU

[thealphamaleishere]

Your husband is living in sin. He needs to cut that shit out

[Despondency]

I am really sorry that your husband turned out this way. I think that he means you no harm but the availability and ease of access is causing him to be wayward. You are very attractive and I am positive it has nothing to do with your attractiveness to him.

[murphchapter2]

Hers the first question what was the wall that you put up that ended your first marraige, it sounds like you might be looking for an excuse to kill this relationship too. The other thing is that if you leave a window open doesn't mean that you are locked on the screen all day, the other thing is that a lot of guys just like looking at what in my opinion is the most beautiful creation (female form) ever put on this earth

[Gibbo24]

We all do it, i wouldn't worry to much. Dont you masturbate without him around? Or fantasize about other guys occasionally? Brad pitt etc etc

[nawdysawdy]

When I was single, of course! Now I don't need to. Brad Pitt? lol yuck!!

[Gibbo24]

Brad pitt was just a generic example, lol. Most guys will always look at p*rn , regardless of how hot his partner is. Plus we just like jacking off! I can fuck then masturbate about the sex I just had.

[NelMurPage]

@nawdysawdy: lol Well, believe it, or not sone men do grow out of the porn thing. I won't lie and say most do. But some do. You're talking to someone who doesn't and hasn't since he was 16. Even then porn wasn't really my thing, because I had a decent time with dating in high school and after school in general. If that doesn't convince I don't care. Just sharing my experience and debunking what this guy said to prevent it from even becoming a myth.

[Cowboy6666]

He is chronic x X x watcher... :D

[Fitrunner12]

Your not that attractive you couldn't get every guy geez lol funny girl you are

[nawdysawdy]

yes I realize that but I'm no dog either.

[Fitrunner12]

True

[cayecaulker]

Excuse me but you are reading too much into this. your husband just likes to see naked women. he still loves and wants you but he likes to see naked women. I assume you like chick flicks? why would you want to watch a romantic movie about prince charming sweeping away a damsel in distress? Don't you have a prince charming? you just like to watch the romantic movies. So give your husband a break and STOP taking it personal, you will only wreck your marriage if you keep going in the direction you are going. It has nothing to do with you, it is just a past time he likes, THAT IS ALL. IF he was out screwing another woman then you can throw a fit. in my opinion

[Anonymous]

Honestly, he might be addicted to p*rn . I am and I have an amazing woman who looks better than most of the p*rn I watch... I am working on trying to end my addiction... it is causing strain on my relationship because I also delete history, keep things locked up and etc so my woman thinks I might be cheating or something and I swear up and down I'm not... I know she'd watch p*rn with me too but Its no t the same.. I need a quick fix... I hate it... I hate it so much! I dont think of other woman when I'm with her... I do sometimes think of her with another guy in some of the porns I've watched and that gets me going... its gotten so bad that it's hard for me to get off during reg sex now. I love this woman with all my heart and I'm sure he loves you... its just a problem.. . as long as your sex life isn't falling apart like mine.. I wouldn't worry to much... try spicing things up and role play or something... or make your own p*rn with him :)

[nawdysawdy]

Crazy, sounds just like him!!! I don't think he's cheating, at least I hope not. I think the only person that it is ruining it for, is me! He has no problems when it comes to the bedroom but for me, it's killing my desire to be with him, I love him to death and I'm scared that I won't be able to get past it.

[Opinion Owner]

if you love him which I'm sure you do... you can look pass it... I'm sure you can think of some short of trade off... he gets his little fix of p*rn and you get your little fix of what ever fantasy you have... threesomes, role playing, or whatever... If he isn't cheating which I would doubt and he is good to you... dont look to much into it... almost every guy looks at p*rn but for the unlucky few... we become addicted to it... when looking at p*rn it releases some type of "fix" in our brain like a druggie. I'm sure you can out weigh the bad with the good... good luck

[Anonymous]

I guy has to have hobbies...