My husband can get a handjob but is too sensitive for a blow job, what's wrong?

[Anonymous]

I've been married about 1 month and we are both 23. The first time we were intimate I was able to give him a blowjob for a few minutes with sucking and licking the shaft as well as his balls. He made several noises and even writhed around and clenched his fists when getting his balls licked. About 3 months later we got married and I went to give him a blow job and after about 20 seconds he had me stop because it was too sensitive. I then tried GENTLY licking just behind the head and he had to have me stop that as well. He told me that he's never really asked for a bj before. I finished him off with a handjob which he tolerated much better. What's going on with the change in sensation from the first time and this past time with getting a bj and why can he tolerate a hj ok? I really enjoy giving bjs so I'm wondering if I do a little everyone we have sex will He get used to the sensation or always be this sensitive?

[sumfin]

Don't worry! It's always a bit overwhelming the first few times. The first time when he was clenching his fists, he was probably just putting up with it, but it was actually too much. The first BJ I had was totally overwhelming, it was beyond imagining. He'll get used to it in time, no worries. Try going softer. And don't mess with his balls yet. That's like sprinkling crack cocaine on weed and giving it to someone who never smoked weed before. Are you trying to kill him? Save something for down the road when he's used to blowjobs. (I don't literally mean it's a good idea to smoke crack, I'm using it as an analogy, the balls are a whole nother level of pleasure, so don't overwhelm him early on)
He is a lucky lucky man to have a woman like you who enjoys giving oral sex. You could try easing him into it. While giving a handjob, rub his dick on your lips, and cheeks, and eventually when he's more used to it, you can give little licks on the less sensitive areas. The head and especially right under the tip where the frenulum is are very sensitive. The shaft is less so.
And if you are comfortable with it, let him finish in your mouth, or on your lips, that won't be overwhelming physically, but it will get him used to the idea of cumming with your face down there, which he's not used to.
Trust me, before long he will be eating out of the palm of your hand. It isn't that he doesn't like them, it's that he's never have them, and he likes them so much that he can't take it all at once.
And don't force it, like if he seems to want to keep it to a minimum, and not cum like that, just do it briefly before sex. there's no need to make him cum orally so soon in the relationship, it's really a bonus, and he's probably thrilled right now just to have sex with you.

[Asker]

But if he's so sensitive why can he tolerate a hj which has more surface area

[sumfin]

Handjobs are no where near as intense. Think about it like this, which is more intense, being petted firmly, or being tickled? Hanjobs are like a firm petting. they're nice, but not as intense as blowjobs, where the softness of the mouth makes the sensations much more powerful and pleasurable. Also, he might just not be used to the idea of his penis being in your mouth/near your face. It's kind of intense and intimate, and requires a lot of trust in the fact that you aren't bothered by it. Have you told him that you like doing that to him? Maybe you could describe why to him, so he understands that it turns him on. Maybe he's nervous that in some way you will be grossed out, or less turned on by him because his intimate area was in your face. Is he a sensitive guy? Maybe he's a little overweight and not comfortable with his body? I don't know the situation, but try to see if from his perspective, you're making out with his most personal parts, it's intense! He'll get used to it though.

[Asker]

What he said was that he doesn't ask for bj's. He's also from another country but was perfectly fine with getting one when I asked to suck him and the first time we were together He even pushed my head down a little while I was going down on him. When I asked to try again to suck him a few minutes later this mentioned night he asked why I was asking for it, and I told him I liked it. To which he shockingly yelled "you like sucking dick?". So he knows I like it I'm just concerned about telling him I want him to try and get used to it as it might make him embarassed that he can't handle it?

[sumfin]

Hmm. I'm not sure. I see what you mean about not pressuring him, but don't you see my point about him thinking you might not like it? The fact that he was surprised means he thinks women don't like it. And the fact that he pushed your head means he does like it, so there's no worry there. If I was you, I would just do it, and not keep talking about it. Just try the things I mentioned earlier that will help it be less intense. If he had to ask you to stop after 20 seconds, try moving less, so it's not so rapid. Some girls suck too hard and too fast and it's not necessarily better than going slow and taking little pauses where there isn't any movement. You will have to fine tune it, change your method, but I can't see how this wouldn't work out if you want it to.

[Asker]

I will definitely do as you said, I get so excited at the thought of blowing him before work and having him wake up to me sucking him so I will do whatever it takes. Thank you for your help!!

[sumfin]

I don't know if you are for real, but if you are, he is such a lucky man. Words cannot express. As a followup to what you said earlier, about him pushing your head, I recommend to women not to let guys do that, if they want a loving relationship. It might seem innocent, but it's disrespectful, and doesn't help you bond or build a connection. On the other hand, I realize some women want that sort of thing, so I'm not saying it's right for every person. Just my advice if you're interested.

[Asker]

Oh I totally agree. I hate that and usually kick guys out for pushing my head. So we had sex again the other night and he told me that he doesn't want me to try and give him any kind of oral sex again and told me that hjs "irritate" him. How can I express to him that I really want to try something that will potentionally hurt him? And would putting a condom on cut down on some of the sensitivity?

[Rahdle]

The more you do it, the more he should get used to it. Using it more often should get it less sensitive. That's why many men have trouble staying hard, they get less sensitive and eventually not enough to stay hard unless they quit for a while

[tinyclit]

Definitely suggest you do it every time you have sex so that he gets used to it. So long as you're having sex regularly and often, it shouldn't be a very long process either. Before you know it you'll be thoroughly enjoying giving him great BJs as you desire and he'll be enjoying getting them too.

[sobg71124]

No idea. I have never been able to finish from either.