Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Slowly becoming addicted to my friends with benefits, help?

Me and my friends with benefits have been messing around about two months now, when we first talked he said that he was not looking for a relationship and I was not at the time either, he's a nurse. I'm 23, and he's 27. I stepped out my comfort zone to try a lot of new things with him, like sending him nudes and videos of me masturbating in text messages and swallowing after he comes. He's about to leave for CRNA school in Louisiana in 3 weeks. The thing is, I feel so weird about him leaving in a couple of weeks. I get sad thinking about him leaving as well. Every time we have sex I gain so much attraction and become more attached to him. When we are finished having sex I be on such a high. I just don't want him to go. Or let him go period. I know he should go but I just don't want to let him go for selfish reasons. Like I don't want him to meet someone out in Louisiana and move on with somebody else. I'm really getting comfortable with him when we have sex. What should I do? have you ever been in a friends with benefits situation and you slowly became addicted to your FWB?
Updates:
+1 y
I'm not in love with him at all, but I just don't want to move on to another girl when he leaves for Louisiana. I don't like sharing. Even though it is a friends with benefits relationship. I want it to be a long term friends with benefits thing because I'm getting very comfortable with him.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • "Addicted" meaning falling in love?

    I have not had a friends with benefits relationship and I doubt I ever will. It is hard for me to imagine having sex with someone and not having any feelings. I understand having sex without being in love but I've never had sex with any lady if I didn't feel some affection and physical attraction.

    My concern about the friends with benefits phenomena is a much larger concern. Young people have developed a culture in which they are all scared to openly admit their feelings for someone else because - God forbid! - they might get rejected. They're not dating; they're just CHILLIN'! Now they're dating but IT'S NOT OFFICIAL! Official? What the hell do you do, go the courthouse and register yourself as a dating couple? Get a dating license? You begin and end relationships by texting so that you don't need to deal with the other person and the possibility of rejection or the agony of ending a relationship. So why don't you just go the to hospital and have a feelingectomy?

    I hear way too many things about these friends with benefits relationships where one falls in love (what a fucking surprise!) and the other one doesn't and this isn't fair! Most of you younger people are looking for a relationship. ADMIT IT!

    You want a relationship but you don't want to admit that you're motivated by any feelings. So if you just wanna get laid, why don't you go do the friends with benefits thing with somebody who's butt ugly? You won't know the difference when the lights are out!

    No, it's always with somebody who has relationship potential. You just don't want to admit it. This shit has all the insight and maturity of a 13 year old boy wanting to have a tickle fight with his cute next door neighbor.

    Take a chance and do something extreme: GO TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! What do you have to lose? If it doesn't wok out. . . next time, admit what you're looking for and find a guy who will admit to the same desires.

    • Damn! That was freakin mind blowing!

  • Were you two exclusive? Were you seeing anyone else at the time?

    • No we weren't.

Most Helpful Girls

  • In my experiences, that IS to be expected, be it the gal or guy.
    It's mostly the gals that will confess overtly, some guys need to hear it, feel it in order to domino as well... that said, you may fear such a confession might send him screaming into the woods, afraid to be "trapped"

    As for me, I would tell all, for if he's runs away, it's for the best for all he wanted was a "whore" (forgive me, it's best for me to employ "sour grapes" at times like that... look it up).

  • I understand the feeling of being comfortable with someone; however, comfortable isn't a relationship. You don't seem to want one with him and he's already said no in the beginning, as you said. If HE changed his mind, he would have told you and then that would be different.

    You just gotta think to yourself. Do i feel more attracted to him because I want someONE or do I feel more attracted to HIM as a person.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 7

  • The thing is... You can't make him not go, you can go near him or tell him to visit or you go visit just like a long distance relationship, which isn't bad or wrong, but is hard even more taking into account that you are not dating, he is your friends with benefits

  • Be upfront... be honest, ask him if he's interested in being more than fwb?
    tell him that you like him and are comfy around him...
    Try it.

  • For long term FWBs becoming attached is a pretty normal thing. Part of you wants more with him and that isn't bad at all especially if he feels the same way.

  • tell him. simple as that.
    or watch him leave.

  • Sharing is caring

  • I didn't get feelings but got really comfortable with the sex because it was awesome every time. it was something I got used to.

  • This is common with girls because most times women become emotionally invested during sex, even when they say or pretend they don't.
    Guys can have sex, just for the sake of having sex and never in any way attach emotion to it, it can simply just be a fun and pleasurable thing to do.
    You may want him to grow feelings for you but it is unlikely it will happen, we don't often buy the cow when we can get the milk for free.

  • what's his opinion? does he have feelings for you as well? does he know you have feelings for him?

  • Break it off. It's the only way.

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