Do guys feel bad about sleeping around all the time?

[natalieblue7]

Even though my view on casual sex is that it is completely okay and that the number of people I've slept with shouldn't matter, I still feel somehow guilty or shitty after having a one night stand or something like that. More than guilty, its just a kind of "empty" feeling of realizing I've just had sex with someone without any emotional connection whatsoever. Even though I'm very open about sex I couldn't imagine sleeping around a lot/all the time and being happy about it. I see and know all these guys that sleep around all the time - like everytime they go out they try to get a girl. I get that at this age it's a normal thing and as much as I don't judge it (as long as they are honest and not playing girls around) I wonder how can they be completely okay with it? I know girls are already raised in a way and influenced by society to feel shame about being sexual etc., so i get that it affects us more, but I often wonder - if guys is regulary sleeping around, having one night stands and meaningless sex with random girls, does it actually make you feel good about yourselfs or does it also eventually start feeling shitty?

[sobg71124]

I cannot relate with that at all. If I didn't already, I develop the deepest emotional connection to every women I have ever been with, in any physical capacity. And I felt very hurt, emotionally, when they were gone afterward. I still care very deeply and miss each and every one of them. They are a part of me. And I am so very nostalgic for all of them. I think of each one constantly. For me, sex is much more than something physical, but more spiritual. It's two people becoming one. I was never designed to be with multiple women, but to be married to one. And that has never worked out. I never ever understood how so many women I knew could just shut off all their emotions and walk away from me feeling, seemingly, nothing at all. So... heartbreaking.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

I only had sex once, but if I were to go out and fool around with other women, why should I be ashamed of myself for it?

I'm having a good time, she's having a good time. We're both getting off and we're not judging or creating any drama of it. And hell, if I think she's awesome enough to start something serious with it's always an option. Besides, sex is an important part of who I am, despite me only doing it once. (Years of erotic roleplaying really helps with that.)

[natalieblue7]

I didn't mean in terms of ''BEING ASHAMED" of yourself for having sex at all, but feeling shitty in terms of constantly having sex like its the most regular thing without any emotional connection whatsoever.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Well if I don't connect with a girl emotionally during sex then so be it. I just won't have sex with her anymore if it bothers me that much. But what I'm working on in my life is to be that emotionally stimulating type of guy that does build that connection from meeting her to the ending.

[Queen_naki5]

I feel like more girls sleep around than guys. Its easier for a woman to get any guy she wants, even if she isn't attractive. Most girls will say that they don't feel bad about it because guys do it. I feel that a person who "sleeps around" guy or girl doesn't care because they're doing it for instant gratification as opposed to thinking about the consequences of their actions unless someone falls pregnant or with a non-curable STD.

[hypno-trip]

Girls have it so much easier and they complain about us! -__-...

[Queen_naki5]

@hypno-trip exactly. You will not believe some of the girls I've seen at lounges/bars who are an eyesore and can get with ANY drunk guy. Try Brad Pitt and Rosie O'Donnell...

[Anonymous]

They get badly affected emotionally doing this. Every conquest a little bit more of their soul gets eroded!

I always laugh when guys refer it to fun. What's fun in using and abusing women?

I think they're insane or at least close to it

[natalieblue7]

See that's what I would think as well to some extent, but then it seems to me like it actually just makes them feel good about themselves and not care. Although once I met a guy who would sleep around literally at any given chance but he said he felt really shitty about it, and yet he kept doing it I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

He sounds like a narcissist and sex addict. The narc part of him shags because he can and the addict part does it in spite of feeling shitty afterwards. It's a form of self medicating stress to these guys but they will come a cropper one day. STDs, pregnancies etc etc and They normally go on to lose everything

[hypno-trip]

I don't think it's fun but I respect women. I even got mad at my brother when he went through too many relationships. It felt like he was just going through girls' hearts. But what's sad to me is that girls don't seem to want a guy like me anyway even though I'm respectful I still get overshawdowed by hot players, it's not fair...

[Opinion Owner]

The girls you are talking to are probably love addict types. They are only attracted to love avoidant males (or arseholes like I like to call them) You will be of the secure attachment type and once you find someone of a similar Ilk to you, you will be 50000000 times happier than these girls that you think you want. Be you, be happy and never invest in anyone who doesn't deserve your time. I learnt this the hard way

[Roboto]

Men and women aren't so different.

I could relate to everything you said. I've had one night stands and walked away feeling empty and shitty.

I really like when it's someone I care about. It's so much better.

[Outofthegrey]

I don't, so I couldn't tell you.

[Klaatu51]

i prefer having sex only with 1 girl i know very well latly basically... she's the "special" as i call her

[hypno-trip]

I'm a virgin guy at 25 but I'm so envious of all you normal people that sleep around so casually. I wish I was as comfortable with doing it but I've kept to myself and my own academic pursuits.

I would feel bad sleeping around using women and being used by women. But all you normal people sleeping around also makes me feel bad for not having enough "fun".

[Queen_naki5]

Don't be envious. What's normal to some may not be normal to others. I have much respect for people like you actually. Its not fun having unwanted pregnancies and STDs either.

[Anonymous]

We don't do it to feel good about ourselves. It's simply the most sane way of dealing with women. Relationships are kryptonite today if you're a guy, there is no benefit at all to being in one, save it being pleasant to be around women.

Going from woman to woman gives you all the benefits of female company without any of the drawbacks of a relationship, since you aren't staying around long enough for her to sour on you.