Honestly? The low self-esteem and low self worth are way more unattractive than your being a virgin, and, like you said, as long as those are issues you're probably not going to be able to find a girlfriend and have sex. The extreme fear of rejection holds you back, as well. I'm not one of these girls, but with the majority of girls if you ask them what's attractive to them in a guy "confidence" is going to come up at some point. "Confidence" includes being able to ask a girl out whom you're interested in, and you can't mess around and let her friendzone you before you do it, either. I would guess you move way too slow with girls and you are too subtle in expressing your interest, and that's why you fail and why they end up seeing you as a friend. So, that's something to work on.
For me, the virginity thing is no problem whatsoever. Like I said, even though I don't need someone to be super-confident, I don't want to be with someone who has self esteem issues. Also, I agree with the other person who said it's way worse for a guy to be a ho. If it's between a virgin and a guy who sleeps around, I'm taking the virgin every time. So, that's really not an issue to every woman. Your problems are those three things I listed above, not your virginity.
Thank you for your opinion. Being confident is harder said than done. If I had a switch I could turn on to be more confident gladly would, sadly it doesn't exist. I agree with you on how I move too slow with women and too subtle in expressing interest, the thing is I don't know HOW! I'm terrible at talking to women. Plus, just coming right out with it seems desperate and even the thought of doing that just about sends me into a cold sweat.
I understand completely about it being hard to be confident. I am learning a lot about dating and relationships, and one of the things I'm noticing is subtlety and confidence matter a lot. I'm starting to understand how less physically attractive men and women attract people of the opposite sex and why sometimes you see very attractive people single a lot. With the subtlety thing, the first thing is learning how to flirt and how to compliment. There are so many articles and sites out there with tips. You can find out a lot of tips and explanations with a Google search, though you don't want to believe everything you read. But you definitely don't want to come right out and ask a girl out. You do want to use flirting and compliments to see her receptiveness to you, to warm her up, to send her signals, etc, and then you'll sense whether or not to proceed or back off before you ask her out.
I have read quite a number of books and articles on the subject but they really haven't helped me a great deal. I am often quiet and nervous around girls, particularly the ones I find attractive. All of which can make me look disinterested. Even when things are going well with a girl I am always too afraid to make the move on her or ask her out. Mostly because it is simply an unknown realm to me and I'm terrified of rejection.
you make virginity sound like a disease...
don't go to an escort simply because you think women wouldn't want to have a romantic relationship with you... that is gibberish
it is your decision ultimately if you want to go to an escort... if you want to know what it feels like. but remember, there will be dire consequences. many STDs cannot be prevented by condoms...
make an informed, sound decision
Many women have told me that they would never, ever get involved with a man who has never had sex past the age of 25. I don't know how else I can do it.
obviously they are not the right women and you have been wasting your time behind them! even if you do get them, will you be happy? don't change yourself just because you want to be liked by certain stupid people
I wasn't interested in these women, they were female friends discussing the topic in my presence. I've heard other girls say this too.
I'm just gonna say it: i can't stand guys who think the way u do.
if youv never had a connection, then you obviously haven't met one who does connect with u. if u think losing ur virginity to a woman like that is the 'solution' for u, u r truly misleading yourself.
I have tried to ask women out on dates in the past but they have all rejected me. What I meant by connection was I have never been intimate with a woman before.
well use rejection as motivation to be better rather than using it as an excuse for urself.
Well, it's harder than that. I've gotten rejected that much it's sapped my confidence.
This is what's killing you
>I've got no self esteem, low self worth, an EXTREME fear of rejection and am very very very shy
As a virgin myself whose only attempt at a relationship ended up with her hooking up with random fucktards, I feel you. Fact is, you can't let it get to you. Be confident in other aspects of your life, portray the fact that you not dating anyone ever just isn't important, and that you're comfortable with your life. I guarantee that the right woman will not give a damn that you're a virgin and never dated anyone. She should love you for you and you shouldn't have to change a damn thing except your attitude towards yourself.
Live confidently and just focus on meeting new women every day. Don't think "I'm going to date her" think "I'm going to get to know her" Find as many doors as possible, and see which one you want to open
Google The Mating Grounds Podcast + I'm bitter towards women... and listen to that episode. I think you'll find it helpful. I'd post the link here, but this site won't let me. Dude, this is a process though. They'll tell you in the episode to go join groups of positive people and make friends with other guys who do well in dating. But don't give up man. It's easy to go into a downward spiral and it's going to take some work. You might even need to go to therapy to help you change your mindset but don't beat yourself up.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!It takes a while to find someone you click with even if you have dated around and had plenty of relationships. Not all relationships mean something. I wish I would have waited longer to be honest. So finding someone worth it does take time and a little luck. Don't sweat it! As for your other fear.. Yes, I would be nervous about a guy who hasn't been in any sort of relationship, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. As long as you are mature enough to handle a relationship (and I'm guessing you are due to you being 25), then there shouldn't be an issue. Every new relationship is a growing experience. You learn a bit about yourself and what you like in a partner. You get to try new things and get to know someone on a level that is extremely personal. You also learn some vital communication skills when dating that you wouldn't necessarily have from just relations with family and friends. With you not having that experience, it might cause a girl to be careful. I just don't see it as being too off-putting though. And If a girl is worried about you being a virgin, then she has some kind of issues. I am not trying to make it seem animalistic (is that even a word?), but most guys who are inexperienced can be a blessing, It means you can teach them or "train" them to do things how you like it. Just be honest and be yourself. Try not to rush into anything. Take everything one day at a time. You'll find someone.
If she rejects you she's the wrong one anyone who's special enough will accept you as who you are - cliche but true
Personally, I don't think I could ever marry a guy who's slept with a prostitute. And I don't date guys who I don't see myself ever marrying. So it'd be kind of a deal breaker for me.
For the record, I was thrilled when I found out my 22 year old boyfriend was a virgin. I didn't have to worry about the possibility of diseases or him comparing me to past lovers. And it was sweet we got to lose it together.
Unfortunately girls like you are in the minority. Most girls wouldn't want anything to do with a male virgin in their 20s.
Hire a prostitute, they're legal in Nevada. Lol jk, I'm sure you'll find someone eventually just keep putting yourself out there
Ask one of your female friends if they are okay with helping you with your problem?
I don't have that many female friends, plus they all already have boyfriends.
That would be so cute though...
I was joking when I said this
Someone jus asked this before? Is this the same guy
I did see that somebody else posted a similar question. No, I'm not the same guy.
Oh okay well don't lose your virginity to a hoe anyway :)
It depends on how much it bothers you that you'd be sleeping with someone who doesn't really wanna fuck you.
I say consider it! See what sex is about. Tell the escort you are a virgin and make sure you have sex 2 or three times with her in an evening so you can really see how it goes. Don't forget a condom!!
Go for it. It's not a big deal really.
You have to work on your issues to get with the ladies. Having sex won't change a damn thing about it. There is a reason you are unsuccesful and you have to find out what it is, even with help from a therapist.
Dude. If you resort to a hooker, you're not gonna feel any better... You're just gonna come back here the next day and whine about how you had to pay for sex and how no one will ever love you.
You said you were "tired of waiting"... I would be too... It's not like some girl is gonna trip on a crack and land on your dick out of the blue. Quit waiting and take action , my man.
You actually might be better off losing it to an escort...
save it dude, find that special girl.
Just don't tell girls.
That could turn around and bite me on the butt. I'm sure they will be able to tell if I ever get in bed with one, I will be nervous and have no idea what I am doing.
@Asker you need to be the guy not them. Have some more confidence in yourself instead of always being so damn shy and insecure.
Do you really want your first time to be with a prostitute?
At a certain point... it becomes a burden. Baggage that makes women less likely to get involved with you. Virginity isn't in demand with a man, like it is with a woman. Setting that piece of baggage down can help him have better relationships in the future. True, a prostitute is NOT ideal.
Again with this question. It's not worth to lose it this way...
You asked this before and we said no unless you want to contract cooties or some sort of disease, because you don't really know for sure.
Barrier protection should prevent any STI so he should be fine in that regard
Yes that's true, but I didn't know whether he wants to wear protection or not...
@doireallyneedone
lol man you sound exactly like me
Don't do it bro. Besides, if you're scared to talk to women, how could you ask a prostitute to help you out?
But seriously, don't do it. Not only can it be dangerous, it's not worth it.
I would say to just not talk about the fact that your a virgin till your close to the girl. Try dating sites?
Already have tried dating sites.
Try different ones?
I've already tries five of them. I gave up on that path already.
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