Why do guys feel entitled to sex?

[Anonymous]

Many guys seem to have this attitude as if they have a right to sex from a woman they are dating or in a relationship. As if sooner or later, it's some sort of duty or obligation of hers to let him stick his penis in her vagina. Otherwise, he'll maybe leave her for someone else. What's up with that? Am I the only female who finds that unsettling?

[CptnGoats]

@StickStickity13 says,
""I don't think I have the "right" to it. However I have the right to leave and find a girl who will.""

You know, I think Stick is right on a basic level, let me explain. A girl is unlikely to be "special" enough and "irreplaceable" enough if she sees sexuality as a chore, rather than as a means to connect with their partner. He could find someone else who rather than just claims that she loves him in words while she keeps him at a distance - rather than that, she actually does love him, both emotionally and physically.

Asker says the following
""There is no man on this Earth who can't be replaced, especially with the delightful invention of dildos""

The Asker is essentially stating that the only valuable asset a male can offer is his penis.

I guess that explains why the Asker would claim that the only value a male is able to see in a female is their vagina.

Asker, this is a shallow and unfortunate, sexist way of looking at relationship dynamics. At some point, you might find that special someone whom you don't hate for being male, and will be eager to connect sexually.

[Asker]

I will not listen to anyone who has anything to do with that disgusting, trash ass user.

[Asker]

This answer is more of a pointless, useless, nosey critique and analysis of a conversation that didn't involve you than an actual legitimate, noteworthy viewpoint on the topic at hand.

[bananatossing]

Well this is a good question because I'm not sure how to answer it. Why? Well, to be fair I have never been "blocked" sexually by a girl, because sex does not come out from me only but from both of us. I've never felt entitled nor I have put sex as my goal because it isn't on a relationship. Sex entitlement doesn't apply I think to relationships, rather for nightstands.

To date, I've see some girls are slower to go sexual than others but that doesn't change my views of them at all. When it gets sexual is because we are both aroused and we are both at the point of trust to get to such physical connection. It's very... natural I'd say. I don't think I ever felt entitled to sex, nor I've seen it as a position of power like you are implying. Other guys may see it like that, but those guys are not looking for a relationship rather casual sex, or dates to fuck around literally.

[Asker]

This is a very respectful, multifaceted answer where you consider various different possibilities. Thanks for sharing :)

[abundantlyrich]

Referring to Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.

These guys are at #1.

1. Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.

2. Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, etc.

3. Love and belongingness needs - friendship, intimacy, affection and love, - from work group, family, friends, romantic relationships.

4. Esteem needs - self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc.

5. Cognitive needs - knowledge, meaning, etc.

6. Aesthetic needs - appreciation and search for beauty, balance, form, etc.

7. Self-Actualization needs - realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

8. Transcendence needs - helping others to achieve self actualization.

[abundantlyrich]

They are pretty much fuck all and nothing but a poke in the wet hole.

[Asker]

Hmmm very interesting

[Anonymous]

i dont think that all guys are like that at all...
but some are, yes... and it's a little unsettling. the cookie is the prize... after they take you out and treat you nice and are supportive, they want something in return...

[dudeman]

No shit if not then why not take us out and be supportive.

[Asker]

@dudeman You do not get to participate on this post. You blocked me before I even got the chance to reply or comment on your comment so the hypocrisy in you still attempting to open your mouth and contribute on my post is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

they think of us as purely sexual objects. its very unsettling.

[Asker]

Interesting how many of them try to mask this truth as some sort of relationship requirement -_- An absolutely necessity to capture the passion of the hearts and minds, yet really it simply comes down to their d*ck.

[dudeman]

Not just sex objects but it is part of it.

[Asker]

@dudeman seeing as you blocked me from interacting with you before I even said anything to you, not sure what makes you hypocritically think you have the opportunity to speak to me or address any conversation I am apart of.

[Opinion Owner]

I totally agree with you, asker.

[Asker]

Thanks, anonymous :) Do you have a personal experience you'd like to share in relation to this topic?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I would just like to say that I personally was pressured into losing my virginity. I wanted to wait until marriage to lose it, and this guy was very well aware of that before he asked me out. But he decided to make me his girlfriends anyway. He was my fist boyfriend, and he played a lot of mind games with me. He told me that it wasn't a real relationship without sex, and that if I really loved him I would do it. He pressured me so much that I eventually gave in. Worst decision of my life and I have always regretted it. After dating other guys after him, I started to see a pattern. Every guy would tell me that it wasn't a real relationship without sex. So I decided to just stay single until I found someone who would actually not pressure me. I'm still looking lol.

[Asker]

Oh, wow. That is a very intimate, private detail of your womanhood. Thanks for sharing it on this forum.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. I thought it might help other women out there who might be going through the same thing.

[Asker]

I'm sorry for the lingering pain and disappointment you've experienced due to the self-absorbed actions of that disgusting man. Real relationships can exist without sex and exceed your average relationship involving sex. Often times, sex simply becomes a major distraction, derailing people from building together mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to a point where their "relationship" has practically evolved into an animalistic, replaceable, disposable f*ck buddy scenario. Sex does not guarantee a healthy, long lasting, fireproof relationship and any guy who insists that is either being manipulative, sincerely doesn't realize what it takes truly satisfying partner, or simply does not have what it takes to deliver a certain type of relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you, you're very right. Thankfully I have been able to put the past behind me and now I would never let another man manipulate me again.

[Asker]

Please know that not all guys are greedy, cock-obsessed dogs like that. I was once in a strong, sturdy, fireproof relationship for TWO YEARS as a virgin without having sex. That man treated me like a queen. We were sexual in other ways where some steamy, explicit things would god own and he would tell me how beautiful my vagina is while... ahem... exploring it graphically lol There is a commonly uncharted, undiscovered level of ecstasy and intimacy that exists only when you reach a level of selflessness that doesn't involve sex. It's beautiful.

[Asker]

damn I'm sorry girl :/ I know that must really sting. It's great when women can share their experiences to help other women make less painful choices during their journey.

[Opinion Owner]

That's good to know :) I know there's someone out there for everyone. May I ask what happened with you and that man that you are no longer together?

[Asker]

He had some serious issues as a political refugee and I was at a point in my life where the cost it took to be loyal to him was just too much. There were incredibly amazing opportunities reaching for my attention so putting an excessive amount of attention on navigating through his complexities and spending so much time being a cheerleader for him to get his issues resolved just wasn't an option for me anymore. My dreams were coming true, I was interested in relocating, and the delightful, blissful passion of my future career, education, and hobbies were becoming much more favorable than his consistent exhausting drama.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah, I see.

[Asker]

Dramatic guys are so much to deal with and the extreme amount of patience, dedication, loyalty, and faith required for their presence can sincerely become tiring and distracting from other beautiful goals. So, in the end, I chose less dramatic, complex, exhausting passions over my passion for him.

[Asker]

Yup. So many factors involved and at the end of the day, in my humble opinion, the man is competing with the allure, charm, and delights of life. So if he doesn't have his sh*t together or consistently remains a problem that needs to be solved, then he will lose. <3

[Opinion Owner]

Totally agree!

[Asker]

*sigh of relief* I love girl talk. lol

[Opinion Owner]

Haha same here XD

[Mesonfielde]

That is such a misconception. It is the assumption that just because males want to be sexual with a girl, that is the only reason they're with them. No, it is NOT the only reason why they are with them, but it is ONE of the reasons they are with them. Imagine if your partner said "all girls ever want is idle chitchat" and chose to just never talk to you, then if you asked him to speak to you, he'd just say "you are not entitled to verbal communication in a relationship"

[Outofthegrey]

If you really feel like it's a duty or obligation to have sex then there's something wrong with you.

We don't feel entitled to sex, we just have a sex drive and expect that the person we are dating wants to have sex, like most other human beings do.

[Klaatu51]

hahah personally in my case sex isn't my #1 priority 8)

[Mesonfielde]

I think they think that a girl who claims to have chosen to be with him should have the desire to connect physically as well. What I find unsettling is that so many girls seem to be raised into thinking this is some kind of obligation. Theoretically, this should come naturally for both sides.

[GreenEyedGirl01]

Best answer.

[TadCurious]

I agree with you that guys shouldn't think of it as an entitlement, because no one is entitled to sex with another person. But if the relationship isn't progressing to that stage of intimacy, for some people that means it's not working for them. And I could see why that would be a valid reason to want to try to find that kind of intimacy with someone else.

[Asker]

Very respectable answer with a great, valid point :)

[sid312]

Well in a realationship sex is alit of times part of it

[sid312]

a lot

[checkyesjulietx]

I have just sat here and read through all the @Asker's responses to these comments and I love you, you're great ;) agree with everything

[Asker]

why thank you :)

[muspelhem_5]

Let me get this straight: if you're with a guy, you don't feel like it would be nice to have sex with him sooner or later? You would be fine with him just refusing you sex, or basically avoiding every advance you made?

I can't see how it is entitled to want a physical relationship with a romantic partner. Otherwise it's called a friendship.

[Asker]

Nah, you're over-analyzing and reading too much into it. I never stated nor implied what you have speculated and guessed. What I'm talking about is the entitled attitude where a guy seems to feel he has a right to a woman's vagina. The tone of entitlement as if it is a female duty to please his penis. Apparently, I'm not the only female who notices this or finds something off about it. :/ Also, YOU PERSONALLY would view that as a friendship but you can't go expressing your personal opinions as thoughts. Your opinions do not represent every other man's viewpoint or personal experience.

[muspelhem_5]

I can see why that would be your experience from the way you respond to my opinion. Maybe dial down the butthurt a notch, eh?

[Asker]

Dial down the butthurt notch? lol, there is no 'butt-hurtness' going on. YOU are the one who is defensive and has an attitude with a degrading tone because I questioned your comment.

[Asker]

If you are going to be nasty and speak to me a certain way, then your old ass will not be participating on my post. I don't know what is up with you online losers thinking it's acceptable to part your lips, kill the vibe, and be assholes just because someone didn't agree with you, but I'm not your fucking therapist or mother and I don't have to put up with your nasty mouth. Speak to me with respect or don't speak at all.

[front2back]

Oh please, I don't even feel entitled to a relationship, which is why I don't look for one.

[Asker]

Never implied or suggested that it was every single man on the planet Earth. No need to get an attitude.

[I_am_repulsive]

What? Like a property entitlement?

[prettystardust]

Well, don't you think you have the right to it too sooner or later? Are you asexuated?

[Asker]

Not everyone who is a cheerleader for sex is asexual -_-

[Asker]

**Not everyone who *ISN'T

[prettystardust]

I didn't say that. You may not want to rush things, but you should feel like it's gonna happen too sooner or later (assuming you're going to stay together). Why would it bother you if your boyfriend assumes you're going to be intimate one day? It's natural.

[jacquesvol]

Read: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1017961-how-do-girls-come-to-the-conclusion-that-men-are-entitled-to-sex

and: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1285432-if-guys-aren-t-entitled-to-sex-then-why-do-guys-who-masturbate-look

IMHO, every adult considers the possibility of good a relationship with a person of the other sex MIGHT become sexual. A kind of natural interaction between men and women.
This does NOT mean they're entitled to it, just that they expect it/hope for it.
NO sort of duty or obligation , a natural hope because each thinks the other expects it too.

to get a user to stop harassing you there's the blocking function.

[dudeman]

Well it kinda is a duty

[NYkid27]

Not all guys feel entitled to sex. I see sex as like a bonus. If my girlfriend wants to have sex then that's great but if she doesn't that's her choice and I respect it

[Asker]

THANK YOU. Only male answerer who used the word 'RESPECT' or even incorporated the concept of respect outside of your genital.

[Mesonfielde]

So what would you do if she claims that she will never have sex with you ever again?

[singlebee]

I would understand you POV if you were telling about a women's guy friends.. us maybe they feel just because they are fringe with a girl they are gone have sex with her LOL
But you were taking about relationship? I don't know what you mean by that? I mean both purple when they are in a relationship have sex... nothing is wrong with that...

And also there is an attraction between two people to get into a relationship in the first place...

[Asker]

"Fringe" with a girl? What does that mean? When I hear fringe, I think of this...
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/154177987215714717/

[Asker]

I'm just talking about the pushy entitled attitude where a guy would probably throw a fit or leave a woman if she didn't want to sleep with him.

[singlebee]

Typos... damnn *talking about *friends with *gonna have *people

[singlebee]

If a guy leaves you cause you won't have sex? then he is an asshole... He is better gone...😊

[Drast]

I have never and will never feel entitled to sex, however I do feel entitled to my choice. If you are not satisfying me I am entitled to leave. That's not feeling entitled to sex, that's being entitled to personal freedom.

[manos]

As girls also think that they deserve sth , men also think and they actually deserve sex from their girlfriend. You are probably in the group of selfish women

[Nathand]

the media and loose parent guidance motivates guys to be sex addicts.

[Asker]

Interesting contribution

[StickStickity13]

I don't think I have the "right" to it. However I have the right to leave and find a girl who will.

[StickStickity13]

Why the down votes? Did I hurt some feelings?

[Asker]

I think it's because you sound like a pig who is overly concerned with his d*ck. Generally, women don't appreciate someone suggesting they are disposable and should be dismissed if their d*ck is not a priority.

[StickStickity13]

I will give you a little advice. There's no woman on this planet that can't be replaced. No girl is so special I couldn't find one who is better or at least the same.

[Asker]

I will give you a little advice in return: There is no man on this Earth who can't be replaced, especially with the delightful invention of dildos :) You can express your opinion as if it's some fact that every single man miraculously agrees with, but I'm wise enough to know that you are simply an answerer who arrogantly expresses his viewpoint as if he's the spokesperson for the male population when in fact, he is not and seemingly doesn't possess the maturity, nobility, and level of intellect to ever be. :)

[Asker]

While YOU PERSONALLY have not met a girl special enough to where she's irreplaceable, there are plenty of happily married men or unmarried men who are madly in love or men who have lost their significant other to death and feel that no other woman can compare. Think outside of your own skull otherwise you simply look too self-absorbed to contribute anything solid to this discussion.

[StickStickity13]

I agree, men are replaceable as well. There are billions of them.

[Asker]

I was mocking your logic. For someone bitter, jaded, and most likely miserable who has never experienced true love, yes every single man and woman is replaceable. But that's an entirely different topic...

[StickStickity13]

I have, but I also found love after her. You're just not logical.

[Asker]

Just because someone disagrees with YOUR OPINION doesn't mean they lack logic. You should really learn how to participate in a discussion without passive aggressively degrading others and negating from their credibility when they confidently refuse to agree with you.

[StickStickity13]

I know I'm right, you have to be nieve to think you can only connect with one human on this earth.

[Asker]

The people who think they know everything tend to be the most foolish, misinformed humans on this Earth.

[Asker]

Honey, in the real world, people are going to disagree with you and there's no level of intellectually-masked bickering, passive aggressive side remarks, and reducing of your own maturity that can change their mind. So it's really a waste of your time and energy to desperately try to shove your viewpoint down someone's throat to the extent where you make yourself look foolish and mentally pubescent.

[StickStickity13]

Of course there are exceptions, but please provide evidence to disprove what I said.

[Asker]

Because you are so incredibly dramatic, passive aggressive, condescending, and overall exhausting to communicate with, that is not a privilege you get. Just because you get online and boastfully, forcefully express yourself does not mean you are entitled for someone else to spend their limited time and energy "providing evidence to disprove" what you said.

[Asker]

If an answerer comes off as a complete waste of time and a chore to communicate with, then there are certain outlets of the conversation they will never experience from me. Take it as a lesson learned in the future. If you're going to show your ass and come off as pure drama, some people may genuinely have no interest or desire to encourage your mouth.

[Asker]

Interesting how little time we actually spent discussing and exploring the topic at hand because your low standard of communication skills are so incredibly distracting.

[BigbuttLvr]

Newsflash: when two people are attracted to each other, they have sex. What is the point of a relationship otherwise? I would expect my girlfriend to expect sex from me.

[lamborgini15]

relationships are not natural they are a pretty new thing for the human race before this all it was was just fuck move on fuck move on until they died its just natural to want that. Relationships are not natural.

[Asker]

oh, wow. That's an interesting perspective...

[lamborgini15]

Its just instinct. But if they love you enough as I do with my girlfriend they may want to be with you forever.

[koko124]

Rape is also very natural, using that logic.

[Asker]

@koko124... wtf :/ Not sure where you're going with that comment? Please explain?

[lamborgini15]

When did I mention rape was natural wtf.

[Mesonfielde]

Even the geese have figured out that maintaining a monogamous household increases the survival rate of offspring.