Girls do you masturbate after sex? Guys, do you care?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (25) and I (24) have been dating for almost 9 years. For the first 6 years our sex life centered almost completely around him. Long story short, I wised up, attempted to improve our sex life, and failed. Believe me when I say that I've tried EVERYTHING. And it worked for a little while but he would eventually revert back. Currently, foreplay is nonexistent. Our sex life consists of me slathering him in lube, gritting my teeth, and taking it. It's painful and dissatisfying but I feel that I do owe him sex since we are monogamous and he is otherwise unselfish and wonderful. Then later when he isn't around I masturbate. I've pretty much given up. I refuse to turn myself on and then make myself cum during sex like I did in the past. I refuse to share my orgasm with him when he hasn't contributed to the experience. I want him to participate in my pleasure without having to be coerced or guilted into it- but that isn't going to happen. Here are my questions: Ladies, do any of you masturbate after sex? Does it bother you that you have to? Guys, would you care if your partner masturbated after you finished? Any experience with it?

[throwit]

Yes I do and yes I am kind of resentful for it.
That situation really sucks,
I would turn it on him and make him feel bad about being an asshole.
Tell him he doesn't like you and that he doesn't care about you and that he doesn't love you enough to care whether you cum or not. Bring on the tears make him feel horrible!! Tell him he just uses you to masturbate with and could care less if you enjoy it or not. Next time you have sex when he's done tell him to leave so you can take care of yourself because he obviously won't do it (because of how much he doesn't care lol gam it upppp) right as he's done sit up and get dressed as if nothing happened. Give a fake smile that he knows is fake. "Yep that was nice :)" then turn your head and go straight faced while he can still see your expression. Ask him if it was good. See if he asks you. Make him feel like shit. When you go to bed say 'thanks' or 'that was really good' and hen turn away from him and go straight to sleep with no contact.
If he says something about it it like "hey what's wrong" just say 'nothing? You got to cum, that's all I care about. Wasn't it good for you?'
9 years is insanely long.

[Asker]

I tried the guilt trip after year 6 lol. Unfortunately, men are insanely sensitive when it comes to sex. Even giving small direction can seem like an insult towards his manhood. I realized I was just hurting his self esteem and it wasn't helping our relationship so I backed off. Masturbating is my attempt at letting go of some of my resentment. Good to know I'm not alone!

[throwit]

Fuckkkk that. If he isn't good in bed let him know and tell him to try harder! Not to just accept that he doesn't care! If you've told him to try harder and he doesn't and just wants to finish himself then tell him how used an uncared about that makes you feel! Is he just like "I'm sorry I don't know how to make you cum... So I'll just skip foreplay anyways and just lube up and jam it in until I cum"? Noooo. Tell him to go down on you, to finger you, to do ANYTHING to show he cares about you feeling good (even if you don't cum). Tell him to make you feel like you're not just a place for him to put his dick!! Go ahead an insult him if that gets him to try. He's not gonna get any pm better if he's not trying anything. And if he starts to make you feel good that would be a boost for his confidence and manliness.

[Anonymous]

I'd ask to help you. Your pleasure should be part of the sex too. It's a shared activity.

[sobg71124]

I wouldn't like it at all if my girlfriend masterbated.

[Asker]

Why?

[sobg71124]

I don't like her touching herself. The idea is really a turn-off. Most of the girls I have been with have not felt comfortable or enjoyed this practice anyway, though.

[throwit]

? That's really weird, don't you masturbate?

[sobg71124]

Yes, I do. I wish I didn't though. But, I think it's more natural for guys. They are more sexually charged by visual memories/fantasies, etc. And, If I have a girlfriend, I want her to depend on me to please her, not on herself.

[Anonymous]

i never have.

[Anonymous]

If he's not giving you an orgasm, he's probably not a very good boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I care.. I think it's wrong

[throwit]

Why?

[sobg71124]

I agree.

[Asker]

Elaborate?

[Opinion Owner]

It's like your significant other telling you that you didn't get them off, think about it would they be masturbating if they got off already?

[throwit]

Well she wasn't getting off. And if you don't get off why not masturbate? Maybe you might try next time?

[Opinion Owner]

I do get off.. it doesn't take much for men to get off.