Guys why am I only hook up material and not girlfriend material?

Okay so I'm a 20 year old female, I'm average height, have a hour glass figure & im not stick thin or chubby either. I work full time doing accounts, as well as starting uni in September for business and management. My career is the most important thing to me in the world. I'm very care free, and have great banter, I love to travel & try new things. But for some reason all I ever seem to get with guys is hook up material & I don't understand why. I dont mean to blow my own trumpet but I guess I could fall under the category as hot, but I'm smart, ambitious, funny & very caring. So why don't guys ever see me as anything more? I'm a confident person and I do love being me. Is there something I'm doing wrong here? Guys could I have some insight?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • If you put your career first do you really want the distraction of a man (or women)?

    Also, you are 20. Many people within our age group even want to be in a serious relationship. So with that in mind, there will be lot more people who will approach you that would rather fool around. Bound to happen.

    Looks, sadly come to play at this age range also. The society that we are currently living in is shallow. Advertisements everywhere emphasize on how looks are important and how their product can help improve that. So if you are a looker, you are going to get people who just want to stare at you through the store window, rather then put the effort into going into the store to take a better look at you from the inside. Yes, that was a metaphor.

    I personally am in the exact predicament. Although, I think I up play the way I look. I think I'm banging. Others dont. Whatever.

    Since the younger guys seem to want me for my body, I try my best to attract the older guys. Since they seem to want to make a deeper connection with me, other then a deeper connection with their dick INSIDE me. Well, from my experience anyway.

    Worst comes to worst. There are always cats. Im ok with that. You shouldn't either, you might not find a guy now, but you have 80+ years ahead of you to find a man. dont fret.

  • I've been in this situation before, and I always though something was wrong with me, truth is- nothing is wrong with you, guys and (girls) go after looks first, it's not everything yes, but it also has to do with patience, if you're looking out for yourself and don't mind hooking up- then they won't be opposed to it, if you make them wait then it'll show if they really wanna stick around. It can be annoying and tiresome but you're doing nothing wrong, I wouldn't say you attract the wrong people, perhaps they don't think you want to date?

Most Helpful Guys

  • "My career is the most important thing to me in the world." There you go right there. Not saying your career isn't important, but if you want a relationship, that needs to be number one. Also, guys pick up on this early on if all you want to do if further your career most guys will say "I'm willing to put her first, before my career, why isn't she willing to do the same for me?" and they will end it if they are looking for a relationship.

    Guys who just want hookups on the other hand zone in on women who want that like moths to a flame. If you only care about your career than you don't have time in your life for anything else and you don't want a relationship, just hookups so the logic goes.

  • The hotter you look, the more you will attract those type of guys. I've heard stories that girls who were flat chested always got approached by nice guys who wanted a relationship. When she got a boob job, she got a completely different type of attention, lots of guys wanting to sleep with her and douchey guys, the nice guys stopped approaching her.

    So if you're really hot... you're gonna have to actually dress down a bit lol... those awesome curves and boobs are gonna scare off the boyfriend material guys, they're gonna think you're not the relationship type of girl.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • There is no such thing. No one can cause you to be "hook-up material," unless you allow him. Only allow yourself to be "girlfriend material" if that's what you really want. Set your standards higher. (No, that, in no way, means you will be alone forever).

  • your description of yourself sounds exactly like the women on dating sites.. they describe themselves in adjectives. you didn't tell me anything about you except you're obsessed with your job.

  • unfortunaely most guys view gals as hook-up mateirial

  • Probably a combination of your age, your looks attracting players, and looking in the wrong places.

  • Dont even think about marriage for another three years anyway. Relax and enjoy. The guys will mature and you will be getting through uni by then.

  • You're disposable to the guys that you attract, which means that the only guys who you're getting are the creme de la creme that go from girl to girl, or you're not all that you claim to be.

  • According to your description, you're girlfriend material. I would like to know you better, for real =)

  • You just blew it :P May be that's why :P

  • you're just very hot.

  • The blame really lies with you and the type of guys you're going for.

    • I guess that could be something!

    • You'll probably have to compromise somewhere. You don't want a clingy little bitch but you don't want a dude who just sees you as a piece of meat.. the middle ground is pretty slim, unfortunately.

    • Yeah it really is. And I gues me being picky doesn't help either.

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