Hooking up with a taken guy?

Question

My PHYSICAL crush (no feelings involved Im keeping my distance cause I know he's not single) has been in a relationship with this girl for THREE YEARS, and now things are not going smoothly. They keep breaking up and their relationship is very on and off, but everytime they breakup they get back together. Everytime he's on a break with her or sometimes even still with her, he talks to me and we sexually flirt via messages or talk on the phone everyday. I dont get it, he says he loves her yet why isn't she enough? why does he keep talking to me (its been five months) and call me almost everyday? He says he's very attracted to me and that I turn him on too much, and we never talk about his relationship. We met coincidentally once at a party and ended up making out, this was the only time we actually saw and talked to each other in person, the rest is always on the phone. Yesterday (saturday night) he asked to meet me atlast at a party but SHIT his girlfriend was there:) I think he knew cause he texted me and said he was gona pick me up instead. We went cruising laughed and talked, he held my hand and kissed it kept saying im cute and i gave him an over clothes handjob. He even took me back home when I lived miles away and showed me where he lived. I thought he was on a break with her cause he ditched her on a Saturday night for me, but the next day he posted  a picture with her and some friends at the beach. Do you think he loves her? And why does he want me so bad? Can i get him attached to me? and how

TwinCKI · Accepted Answer

This sounds like a pretty complicated situation and take what I say with a grain of salt, what I am about to say is all speculation and most likely will not be right but should give you some idea of what to do.

So first I'm going to say what I believe what position he is in right now. To me, it kind of seems like he is in a troubled state and does not know what he wants. He might only be staying with his current girlfriend because he feels like he should because of how long they've been together. You said that things are on and off with them so maybe that might be a sign showing that things aren't what they wanted it to be so they are probably questioning whether it is worth being together. After they do some thinking, they probably just stick together just because of the time they have spent being together (3 years is a long time to be with someone) and I feel like maybe the love that they had for each other is no longer there.

This then leads on to my next point: why he is doing the things that he has done so far. To me, it seems like he has lost all passion in his relationship and when all was lost, he just happened to stumble upon you. He might have re-discovered the passion that he once had- except it was for someone other than his current girlfriend. My guess is that he is talking with you because you make him all sorts of happy but I either get the feeling that he is using you as a booty call or genuinely trying to get to know you better in hopes to one day be with you. I'm kind of leaning towards the first option because he still is with his girlfriend and see's you as a form of excitement. I believe that since him and his current girlfriend keep on breaking up, their sex life isn't the best and that talking with you gives him some sort of sexual pleasure.

Lastly, I'll give you my opinion on what I believe is best. I believe that you shouldn't hook up with this guy. It seems to me like he is all over you right now for the sexual attraction and the moment that you 2 ever get together, all of that will disappear and he might do the same to you as he is currently doing to his girlfriend. Keep in mind that if he cheated on his girlfriend to be with you, what is stopping him from doing the same whenever you 2 might be together.

I hope that my input is taken into consideration and that you keep all of this in mind when making up your decision. I would like it if you didn't do anything with this guy but the decision is ultimately up to you.

RappingChad · Accepted Answer

Please don't be foolish... No matter what people say Sex is always Phycical Emotional psychological and sometimes spiritual...

Astone · Accepted Answer

Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. It's been a long time and he may be emotionally invested- with her he knows what to expect. Just present yourself as honest and in the best (realistic) light as possible. If you get tired of it talk to him and tell him you want more from him, you want a relationship, let him know how much you care. If he doesn't come around and continues this yo-yo game with her then you need to let go. Don't stop yourself from finding someone special because of a guy who is stringing you along. Trust me, most times they never leave their girlfriend.