My Boyfriend doesn't want sex or bj?

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 2 years, but the past three months he said no to sex and blowjobs. Anything sex related he says no, he doenst even makeout with me. I'm 20 and he's 25 and he's my first, I feel like I'm wasting my youth, am I wrong to be upset that he doesn't want me? Is there anything I can do? he won't even let me touch it, I feel like I should dislike my body :( He didn't even make love to me on our 2 year anniversary last month and my birthday last week. I asked him and he says maybe, but when the best time to do so comes around he says no that he doesn't want to. And honestly I am falling out of love with him, not only because of sex but all he does is game on his laptop, dont get me wrong I like my games but I want to do more things than that. And to make it even worse we live together, we have been living together for over a year. Should I save my relationship or move on? I'm afraid to spend the rest of my life with him, and me touching myself and not having sex. any comments please

[NoDoubt]

have you talked to him? Maybe the issue isn't you. Some people just aren't into sex or anything like it. Maybe he has feelings for you, but he just doesn't like sex. If that's what it is, it's got nothing to do with you. I'm sure he thinks you're beautiful, he just doesn't want to have sex. I totally understand why you're self conscious, trust me I know the feeling and would be too. But I'm sure you're really pretty. You just need to talk to him and ask him to be straight up with you. Tell him how it makes you feel. You might say, "Baby, why won't you touch me? Why can't I touch you? I love you and I really want to have sex with you. I really want to be sexually intimate. When you tell me no, I feel sad, rejected, not good enough, not pretty enough. Why won't you have sex with me? Tell me honestly."

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Thank you so much for your comment! but yes I have asked him about it, he tells me he's either not into it, tired, stressed, or a blunt no. I do believe he has feelings for me, he does say I love you to me, not a lot, but still there, he told me doesn't like saying I love you a lot because it loses its meaning. and thank you, I do think I am attractive (not trying to toot my own horn) but these past three months had made me so depressed in questioning my confidence in myself and my body. I'll try asking those questions and see what he says. I just dont understand what or why he doesn't want me. It just blows my mind. thank you!

[Anonymous]

He's cheating. He a getting sex somewhere else that's why he doesn't want it with you

[NoDoubt]

Don't tell her that. You have no idea. She needs goals to him an ask him. Not jump to crazy assumptions.

[NoDoubt]

*she needs to talk to him and ask him

[Opinion Owner]

It's obvious...

[Opinion Owner]

Did you ask him?

[DuhDarling]

Did he give you a reason? You should talk about this with him...

[Rincewind]

has he been acting differently in any other aspects of your relationship? A few things jump out at me immediately. Have either of you cheated or been accused of cheating? Does he still look at porn and pleasure himself, or has that stopped also?

basically need to know if his behaviour has changed in any other aspects besides sex.

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Our relationship has been different, we do argue a lot. and he changed by not caring about me? or at least thats how I feel. But he changed into staying in his room all day and gaming. He doesn't really like kissing me as much, dont get me wrong he does kiss me, when he goes to work and stuff, but he doesn't make out with me or anything like that, I know I can't shower him with kisses because he gets annoyed. Is that normal for guys? And on the other question, yes I have accused him of cheating, 6 - 8 months in our relationship, I went to visit him (we started as a long distant relationship) and I found emails between him and his ex while he was with me. They still haunt me to this day. A lot of I miss you and shit, maybe I was the rebound? a year passed and then he was me. but he told me he didn't see her and stuff, but later on he said that she went to see him then and she kissed him. That was the only time I accused him. Now, on the porn question, I honestly dont know. Thank you!

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Sorry if you can't understand x. x I have so much thoughts jumbled in my head

[Rincewind]

it does sound weird. I can't understand why he would flat out refuse. I hate to say it, but my initial thoughts are that he's seeing someone else, or that he's has some medical reason, like having problems getting an erection. The only way you will know for sure is to confront him, and ask why he refuses to have sex with you. Tell him that is causing problems for you and that you want an explanation .

[FierceBrosnan]

Sounds like there is something more going on with him if he is flat turning you down like this. I hate to say it but he could be seeing someone on the side. Is he working extra late often? Does he make up reasons to not be home when you are? There is something very wrong with this scenario.

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Yes he does flat out says no, he either says he’s tired, even though he could have done nothing that day but gamed. or he says he’s not in the mood. or a blunt “no I dont want to” most of the time. I dont want to think he is cheating on me, but I guess its one of the few most likely answers to my problem, I have no idea how I could find out either. My twin (she lives with me and him) tells me he's not cheating because he's not one of those guys that get girls. I honestly dont know, I have been cheated on in all of my past relationships and wonder if I'm doing something wrong. X. X No he doesn't make up reasons, but he does work late, he works at mcdonalds and they ask him to come in early or work later, but thats what he tells me. Should I be suspicious? Thank you so much for your help!

[Rahdle]

If you do get to the point where you want to leave him, tell him. Tell him that you are not receiving the love you need in the relationship and that he needs to care more for you or you will leave

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Yeah, deep down I feel like that is where our relationship is going. thanks for you help. I like to hope that I won't have to give him an ultimatum like that, but there is no other choice. And I shouldn't have to ask him that in the first place too. Thank you!

[Rahdle]

No problem, any time. Good luck

[nerdybirdy42]

Talk to I'm sit him down disconnect the WiFi get his attention and point it out

[Kenzy-Yinn]

Talk to him about it. this is actually something that might break you two apart if he doesn't watch it
You've been together for two years, you should be able to ask him why he rejects you like that

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

Thank you for your advice! I did ask him about it and he tells me that he's either too tired, not in the mood, or doesn't want to. He also tells me that he doesn't want to because he's Asian, because he's conservative. I know I should be understanding because I dont know much about his culture ways but still is that normal? could that be why? sorry, I'm asking you because you're asian? or na? sorry if not >.< thank you!

[Kenzy-Yinn]

Oh yes, another Asian! :) But honestly... no.. race doesn't have to do anything with wanting to be intimate or not Is it the first time he dates out of his own race or something?

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

I thought so :p But i was thinking that race shouldn't matter and at times he uses that against me, but yes and no on your question. He's hmong and his ex was a korean girl, I'm his first non-asian girl. I'm Hawaiian/Irish.

[Kenzy-Yinn]

Maybe that is why maybe it's his family too who is conservative. But parents should be glad if their son would have intercourse, so there can be a baby. Have you met the parents yet? You should really ask him what is wrong with being Asian. "we can't because I'm Asian" doesn't really say much to you

[DoughnutsnDeadlifts1]

His Family is very conservative, they don't say love yous and his dad only shakes hands with him. Yes I met his parents, they like me. Sure at first they asked if his girlfriend (me) was Hmong, but they accepted it. We visited and stayed at their house for a week. and sure it was awkward because they usually only speak hmong but I got used to it. I try to be the most understanding. I dont see why he would use this against me, he doesn't really do much that is based on his culture, he doesn't want a hmong wedding in the future either, he told me he didn't like hmong girls as well. He doesn't exactly say "cant because I'm asian" he really says "dont want to, I'm conservative like that" but thats what he said in the beginning-ish, now its usually a blunt no. Thank you again for all your help ^^

[Kenzy-Yinn]

In the beginning I'd understand it, because he maybe doesn't want to rush things But being conservative means he likes things to stay the way they are... if you show no physical attraction, you could call you two.. best friends

[Anonymous]

Some things are just bullshit, get rid.