My Boyfriend Raped Me But I Forgave Him?

We're both 18 and we have been dating for 5 months and I really know that I love him and he loves me but one day he kinda raped me. Not literally but Im pretty sure it was still a rape. So I stopped talking to him for 1 week but then I forgave him. I dont know if it was a bad thing for me to forgive him but Im a very strong person and I still love him and trust him. I sometimes have nightmares about it tho, but I still can't change the fact that I will even die for him and he is my everything. And I know that he feels the same thing as I do. He apoligazed to me a million times and I decided to forgive him, do you think this was a bad decision? (I know we have been dating for a very short time but I know we love eachoter more than anything) (And it writes that Im 14 in my profile but thats a mistake Im actually 18)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • No such thing as kinda raped if you got raped you would know it. And if he DID rape you I say leave. He might be the best guy in the world but that's not really a good reason to stay in my opinion. You've been dating 5 months. Yeah not really a lot of time to be sure you love him. It's enough time to decide he's a decent person and that you wanna try but 5 months really isn't that long. You're still in the whole endorphins swamped honeymoon phase. Dude could be a total shitbag and you'd still think he's amazing cause you know... hormones. You think you're the first person to ever fall so deeply in love that you were absolutely sure. My aunt just divorced an abusive ex con sex offender for the same reason. People who say that's too short too tell usually have experienced similar things only to find out they were completely wrong. I can tell by the way you're writing you really haven't met the realistic love where your SO's flaws become glaringly obvious and you have days of struggle just to keep yourself from... well let's just say being mean. I'm not gonna say break up. I'm not gonna say this is a bad decision. I'm not going to stay be super duper uber careful either. But I will say just know you don't have too. If you feel like you NEED to stay It's a lie either from him or yourself. Just be free, love freely, and move on from where you don't feel safe. Don't waste time stalling in scary place (cough cough meaning relationships Cough cough) because you think the alternative may be scarier.

  • When u say kinda raped u? wot "kinda" means? rape's not kinda... it's rape or not. anyway if he really raped u then he has no xcuse in my opinion... unless he was drunk so he could be pardoned somehow since he had no self-control

    Also ask admins to correct yer age :)

    • Being drunk isn't an excuse to rape someone...

    • @diarrhea after 7-8 glasses of wine u've got NO self control at all... so yer actions r justified by some degree... not 100% sure though. nice username by the way LOL

    • No, dude. No. There are more people in the world getting really drunk than there are rapists, don't you think? Alcohol doesn't affect self-control, it affects inhibition; it makes it easier to do the things that you want to do. There are no justifications for rape, there just aren't.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Rape is serious. Do you mean rape as in, you were playing it out as a rape but you both still wanted the intimacy to occur? If you mean rape as in... You said no, you were serious, you tried to fight him off but he punched you, or fed you drugs, and took advantage of you, LEAVE NOW.

    I married an abusive guy thinking it was love. Turned out to be manipulation. He was unsuccessful at raping my sister (I didn't know about this but my family did and never told me) and whenever he went out with his guy friends and couldn't hook up with a random chick, he'd come home to me his wife, and want to sleep with me, he'd take my money and didn't want to work himself, and the last day I stood for his abuse and his manipulations, was the day he raped me...

    I stayed with my ex for too long, long enough for him to burn me in areas I shouldn't have been burned, and I left with serious damage that can never heal. Don't do that to yourself, leave now, no matter how hard it may be, if it really was rape.

  • He "kinda" raped you.

    No it doesn't work that way. Either he raped you or not meaning it was either consensual or not and if he really did I don't see how you'd not be sure if he raped you.

    This is really a slap in the face question to any victim of rape. It's no joking matter nor something you troll about.

  • I'm having trouble imagining how someone can be "kinda" raped. Are there any mitigating circumstances? Like, was either of you drunk? If he was in his right mind and so were you, and it wasn't just a case of "drunk guy taking advantage of even-drunker girl", then I'd see that as something that would be hard to forgive.

  • If your boyfriend raped you I suggest that you seek proffessional help. Rape is a traumatising experience. Most people would not be able to look at their rapist let alone date them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 16
  • What the hell?

    He friggen RAPED you...

  • >teenage girl
    >dating for 5 months
    >"he kinda raped me"
    >"sometimes I have nightmares about it"
    >its tru lurv!!

    LMAO

  • You kinda forgot to put any details about this sort of rape. We can't really judge as to whether you should forgive him if we don't know what he has done.

  • Well he did rape you, if you didn't want to that's rape. Now it's your choice if you want to forgive him or not

  • So had you been intimate with him before he raped you? Please explain re the rape. Did he pin you down? Did you try fight him?

    • I was intimate with him but he didn't pin me down, he held my wrists very thigh I tried to fight him tho

    • Ok, we're you giggling or anything while he was holding you down? Or were you saying "stop"

  • If you feel like it was rape, it was rape. If he raped you he doesn't love you, period. There's no buts about it, and if you 'forgave' him you just don't understand the implications of someone doing that to you. If you think you love him you just don't understand the mindset he has to have to do that to you. You sound like you're in a codependent, abusive relationship, and you should quickly get out of it.

    • I agree

  • what is "kinda rape"?

  • Hormones, hormones, sometimes women can be so irresistible to men that we just can't control ourselves with someone we know like a new girlfriend. She can be so beautifull that we shake at the thought of being inside her. I think if he is your boyfriend, sure forgive him, understand that as a man he needs to gets his rocks off, and you must be hot so he must have you. The fact that he wants you ssoooo badly is in fact flattering to you, im jealous.

    • Oh my god no. You're actually justifying rape. That's what you're doing here. You're defending rape and you're talking like a fucking rapist. Oh my god. That's utterly disgusting.

    • Sick old man. Thank goodness you will never have her.

    • I hope you were just doing satire.

  • There is no "kinda" raped. He either raped you or he didn't.

  • Kinda rape? It's usually rape or no rape, I don't think the justice system would know what to do with a 'kinda rape' charge.

  • Rape is a serious offense, you need to take it more seriously. It seems to me like you're not sure yourself if it was actually rape.

  • Dude, you better leave him, seriously.
    What's stopping him from doing it again if you are this forgiving? 1 million apologies can never equate to rape, not even a billion surprisingly enough..

  • "Kinda" raped you? How does that work? You were into it at the beginning and then went bored and wanted to stop but he continued anyways? If you had nightmares about it then it had to be something terrible/traumatic, and you would NEVER be able to forgive real rape.

    I'm sure you're trolling but still, I wanted to leave it there just in case.

  • If he did in fact rape you 1st get professional help as soon as possible 2nd don't have anything to do with him.

  • there is no "he kind of raped me" if you gave no konsent and made clear that you don´t want , then it was rape. if not, it was not.

    you are only 18 so you have a lot of time to get rid of the rapist and look for a decent guy.

  • So... he kind of just stuck his penis in your vagina. Not sure though...

  • Funny that so many people believe this bullshit.

  • You seem to be in denial. You don't need to act strong or act that you're in love with him. If you think he forced you to have sex with him BREAK UP with him immediately and report him.

  • Really bad, it is difficult to love each other forever

  • feed the troll

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