Girls, would you feel upset if your boyfriend used a fleshlight while having sex and when he's by himself?

[beckycostolano]

so me and my boyfriend got into a discussion last night while talking about other things. I wanted to bring toys into our sex life. like a dildo and vibrator. he told me no and that he would brake up with me if I do. I told him that he was being insecure and he replied with "Yeah! I am insecure because I feel like I'm not enough. my job is to get you off and you're pretty much saying that I suck at it. what if I told you that a fleshlight can get me off faster and better than you? how would that make you feel? to be second best behind an object?" then he just walked out. at first I was mad and thought he was just being stupid. but after I calmed down I started to really think about what he said. and it hurt thinking that I was second best to an object. I wanted to be the one to give my man the best that he's ever had and thinking that he can have that without me sucks. but he does get me off. maybe not all the time but most of it. he understands that I use them for when he's not around and he's ok with that. so would you feel upset if your boyfriend asked to use a fleshlight during sex? or do you think I'm in the wrong for wanting to bring in sex toys into our sex life?

[COCOCHANEL]

i don't think any woman would feel ok about her lover prefering a sex toy over her and wanting to use it when they have sex.
most men just don't suggest this so it never comes up.

on the other hand, one of the main reasons why so many women use sex toys is because they can't orgasm any other way or they find that the orgasm is more intense.

i think that toys should be considered as a last resort if one or both parties can't reach climax.

[beckycostolano]

OR we can just tell them what to do instead of expecting them to know how our bodies work.

[COCOCHANEL]

it's not that easy for everyone

[merryjingles1971]

I would be upset if he brought that into bed while he was having aex with me yes because its made to feel like a vagina n if he can't get off in mine i would be offended but for girls sometimes they need extra cause its MUCH harder for girls to get off its just fact.. but if he's dead set agaisnt u brining in a vibe he NEEDS to do what u want n how u want to get you yours n if he's not willing to do that then thats another conversation

[AthleticMom]

A-OK
Mentally creating a 2nd best attitude is mental illness at its best
Getting mad for not having one's own way over a whim is not love nor intelligent

Therefore
a lover's peace can be made via
a) never inviting toys into sexual relations = retarded
b) experimenting with all sort of sexual enhancements, dismissing those that become tiring, ineffective or distracting along the way

Why miss out on anything pleasure in this very short life?
This about ID, so stow the ego & super ego as you enter the bedroom door full of joy (if allowed)

[beckycostolano]

hello feminist.

[AthleticMom]

that comment/mudball seems out of right field but everyone lives in a different neighborhood, guess that means you disagree but can't say why I'm in a college town... and you? oh, you're welcome for my time/effort

[Anonymous]

Flashlights are made to feel like vaginas. If he uses it during sex, I would be offended. If he uses it while he's masturbating, then I don't see a problem. I personally probably wouldn't see a dildo during sex, unless he's using it on me (or if you're into anal). Vibrators are different rhough because they can be used while you're partner is in you.

[Opinion Owner]

Fleshlights*