Am I the only wife that likes to feel owned by her husband? And why do other women feel so easily degraded?

[gwenlota2442]

Now when I say owned, I mean sexually. Not as in him controlling my life. Other then him saying no other man is allowed to even touch me. Which I love! I tell him the same, no women is allowed to touch him. So we own each other. It makes me feel wanted and needed. I like how he treats me in bed. He calls me HIS little slut, whore bitch, etc. Stuff like that and it turns me on. I like it when he treats me like I'm his property, spanks me, pulls my hair, lightly chokes me and just very recently, he made me put on a dog collar with a leash and used the leash to whip me on my behind. But we do set that aside sometimes for making love or just really hard pounding sex instead. Most women would call this degrading and I can't understand why. And just so you know, we both were virgins when we married. so we've only ever been with each other. So am I the only woman who likes this stuff? Because I read comments on other questions and other women seem to hate being treated like this during sex. Why? Or a wife will refuse her husband sex or tell him she won't do something for him sexually. You're his wife! you are the only woman he can ever have sex with for the rest of his life! He chose you over every other women in the world for that! Why reject him and make him feel unloved? And dont go saying that he does nothing for you to deserve sex with you. Maybe pleasing him will make him take care of you more? Why does he have to be the first to act? My husband see's me as his sex toy, wife, future mother of his children and his goddess that he would die to protect. He does everything in his power to make sure I'm happy, satisfied, feels loved and cared for. And yes I understand that some if not a lot, of guys are just pigs who are selfish and if thats the case, why are you with him? Why did you marry him knowing this is how he was going to act? And if you do find this stuff degrading, why?

[Sex-Kitten]

That's sexy! :D Don't feel like an odd card, many women are into being sexually submissive, myself being one of them. My boyfriend and I have what you describe. It's so amazing. So erotic! So animalistic! I definitely love being owned by him, it makes me feel wanted and needed. Makes me feel like I have my alpha male with me :)
Before him, sex was boring. My previous partners were into movie fucking (you know- that "passionate" bullshit that lasts 20 seconds and is supposed to be erotic? Slow turtle fucking?). Gentle caressing and soft kisses just don't do it for me. I'm a very dominant person, I want to be TAKEN. I'm more dominant than most men in terms of personality and my fighting ability, so I don't want to go home and be fucked by some pussy. I want to be fucked by a real man.
Outside of sex, he's like your husband. Very respectful, considerate, romantic. He'll care for me when I'm sick, get me food if I'm already in bed, hug me, love me. But I'm glad that there's a clear line with us between normal life and then our bedroom life. I think that kind of duality has made our relationship even stronger.

[linkywinky]

I'm neither a wife or a girlfriend, and I'm in fact a total virgin to boot. So I don't know how valid my opinion is on this.

But I dabble, I suppose, in sexting. And when he's bold, aggressive, and dominating through text then it gets me going way faster than a guy who tries to be poetic with his words.

I'll call him daddy without shame. I'll feel pride when he says "My slut / my bitch / etc.", and feel happy when he calls me "little girl". It excites me when he says he "owns" me. Being degraded and treated as a total plaything is a turn on for me.

And the nice thing about it is that, yeah I get totally degraded sexually, but he still treats and speaks to me like a high-functioning human being when we're having an ordinary conversation.

[Anonymous]

I picked c because I've never had that experience, but I'm open to it. I don't know if I would like it or not, but that doesn't mean I won't try it. I may love it! But, I also may hate it. I won't know until I experience it... If I make any sense at all. Like if my boyfriend of current wanted to try calling me things like that, I don't know why not. It could be kinky and fun, and I know he loves me and would never try to degrad me seriously. I think I would just be helping him live out his fantasy in that case, and maybe it would become mine too.

[gwenlota2442]

but would you go as far as a dog collar and the other things?

[Opinion Owner]

If I found myself liking it. Yeah, I would. And, I wouldn't find it degrading. I mean, I wouldn't just jump straight into that, but slowly build it up to it. Like "oh I like being called his little slut" and then be like, well I'll try out this next. If I make any sense? I wouldn't be opposed to it, but it would be something id have to make sure I liked and wasn't scared during and that we built up to a point like that. I would defiantly want to try it out if it was his fantasy/something he liked because I what to make a partner happy. On another note though, I don't really get girls who stop trying to please their man or stop having sex with them after they get married or are in a long term relationship. They whole point of a relationship to me is to make each other happy and try to be a Good partner. While sex/affection/making out isn't the only important thing, I do think it's an important part of being in a relationship. The whole time. unless of course both parties are asexual.

[gwenlota2442]

I completely agree.

[AustinMan]

It just depends on how a woman is wired. I seem to have a subdar if you will because all the women I've been with have turned out to be sexually submissive. I treat them as you describe, esp my wife now. I'm her Bad Daddy and she calls herself my anal slut. There are women, however, that just don't get it. Some of them, I theorize, can't get past judging themselves, feeling that a modern empowered woman would never let a man hit her and sexually "abuse" her, much less call her a dirty little slut.

[jacquesvol]

'Daddy...', 'anal slut..'

[AustinMan]

As @jacquesvol pointed out, she calls me Daddy or Bad Daddy and herself an anal slut.

[jacquesvol]

It sounds as if good old Freud wasn't as wrong as some think today.

[Sex-Kitten]

Freud was a brilliant man, I agree with his shit :3 P. S- good on you Austinman!

[AustinMan]

@sex-kitten, thank you for your support. The more people that figure out that who they are sexually is independent of who they are in "real life," the more sexually enlightened things become.

[Anonymous]

So then why are divorce rates (especially amongst mid 20's people) up to 50% these days, hmm?

And what you like is just rough sex. I don't think you actually like bein "owned" you just like it rough, so, it makes it sound like it's degrading when it's really not and honestly I think he the girls who say they don't like it, actually do but are afraid I admit it for whatever reason that may be

[gwenlota2442]

divorce rate is so high because men and women are selfish now days. they have the whole "I'm my own person and you can't tell me what to do" mind set. and he does own me. I couldn't list all of the things on there because there's a 2000 character limit. and really I'm not seeing your point in bringing up divorce rates.

[Opinion Owner]

"He chose you" And no he doesn't own you

[gwenlota2442]

I don't believe you know how our relationship works. so how could you know if he owns me or not? whats you're definition of being owned?

[Opinion Owner]

You're not owned

[gwenlota2442]

again, whats your definition of owned and how would you know if my husband owns me or not? like I said, we do A LOT of other stuff that I didn't have room to put in there.

[Jager66]

being as her husband is her first sexual partner I'm pretty sure the stats on that say she has a higher then 80% chance of not divorcing.

[gwenlota2442]

thank you, looks like you saw the stats too.

[Bysshe]

Why make any connection with divorce rates?

[gwenlota2442]

studies show that people who have a lot of past sexual partner are more likely to get divorce. and people who had one or no past sexual partners who got married were shown to have very low divorce rates.

[jacquesvol]

Divorce rates have been high for decades and men and women have been selfish since Mankind started.

[Derpyy]

To clarify for me being the only current female to choose the last option, my boyfriend enjoys being degraded.

[Sex-Kitten]

Why do you enjoy it?

[Derpyy]

I just said that my boyfriend does. I've never personally been in the position say whether or not I would like it.

[Sex-Kitten]

I went ahead and made the assumption that YOU degrade your boyfriend during sex, seeing as you're the girlfriend. Was wondering why you'd enjoy being the dominant one.

[Coffinspire]

I wouldn't say I feel "owned" by him at all, but dominated yes. I wouldn't trust anyone else to be like that with me except for him because he knows it's more of a roleplay than anything. Outside of the bedroom we are equal.

I don't see it as degrading, because obviously they have respect for you, degrading is being with a man that doesn't care about you and actually thinks that you are only there for his pleasure.

[Hotwifebecky]

My husband owns me and I love it

[LittleSally]

I guess it depends on how secure in yourself and your partner and your relationship you are.
Words mean so much less than actions though...
But I guess do whatever makes you feel secure.

[gwenlota2442]

you're very right. Me and my husband have known each other for 20 years. then at 10 we decided to be together. then we married at 21 and him being 20. married for 2 years. and we never broke up once. so yeah, he spent 20 years proving that he loved me and that I can trust him.

[musicbrain5]

I picked B but I don't really think it's degrading unless he's forcing you to do it (basically if he's raping you). There was just no option for I've never tried it and I'm not interested.

I'm just not interested in that kind of sex at all and don't want to be treated that way. I have no idea why you're implying that not liking it makes me a bad wife/lover but I disagree with you. Just because he wants something in the bedroom doesn't mean I'm obligated to do it for him.

[gwenlota2442]

dang, sorry about that. knew I was forgetting an option. and nowhere in my post did I ever say that you have to have sex with your husband in the way that I do to be a good wife. I said to be a good wife you can't always reject your husband and cut normal sex off from him all the time. a mans wife is the only person he can go to have sex with. for men sex=romantic love in a marriage. when a wife rejects her husband over and over again, the husband stops feeling loved and less like a man. because he's being rejected he feels like he's not doing his job as a man to keep his wife happy.

[musicbrain5]

I get that, I mean like I'd also hate it if he was turning down sex constantly too. But this is the part I'm talking about: You said: "Or a wife will refuse her husband sex or tell him she won't do something for him sexually. You're his wife! you are the only woman he can ever have sex with for the rest of his life! He chose you over every other women in the world for that! Why reject him and make him feel unloved?" So because I'm his wife, I have to give into his sexual desires otherwise I'm rejecting him, even if it's something I'm not comfortable with doing? For example, anal sex (which I'm not into). "Why reject him and make him feel unloved?" It's possible for love and sex to be mutually exclusive from each other too. Rejecting something in the bedroom doesn't mean I don't love him, or that he doesn't love me.

[gwenlota2442]

yes you can have love but without sex you can't have romantic love. and romantic love is the whole reason people get married. otherwise it would just be friendship. and you're right, I shouldn't have put that part in there.

[Pooping]

How can you not see why others find it degrading? Jesus Christ

[gwenlota2442]

I can ask you why can't you see how its not degrading. I explained why I don't see it as degrading. so please tell me why it is degrading.

[Pooping]

Because getting called a little slut or any other insults is degrading? That's what insults are for: to degrade others. You didn't read explained, you just said you didn't find it degrading.

[Pooping]

You didn't really explain*

[gwenlota2442]

I said I liked it because I'm HIS slut. and slut in this context means I will have sex with him whenever my husband wants me to. that I feel wanted and needed and desired. its something that only he can call me. and its only degrading if YOU find it degrading. so I did explain why its not degrading for me. but you still haven't explained why you DO find it degrading. need more detail other than "because it is". and what you see as an insult is your prerogative. no where in my question did I say that women should be called those names against their will. I asked WHY do they feel like those actions and words are degrading if its coming from a man you love and trust.

[Sex-Kitten]

So what? It's her private sexual life. Some people enjoy being sexually degraded as it's a turn on. But let me guess, you're here on the behalf of all women who fought so hard for equality and it deeply offends you that some of us are into this.

[Pooping]

@Sex-Kitten she made the post, she asked, I replied. Don't like it? idc

[Mesonfielde]

Feeling owned and feeling wanted are two very different things.

Being treated with respect versus being called a whore and treated like an inferior are two very different things.

I voted B) and I don't see why people enjoy being degraded and seen as someone less worthwhile.

[gwenlota2442]

I'm guessing you didn't read the whole post. or you skipped over the part where I said how my husband see's me.

[Yeahhbro]

I think that is normal. In nature the male (most of the time) is the one that leads the pack, so it is only natural for women to like to feel dominated specially when it comes to sex.

[BillieJean1070]

I'm a typical slut in bed.

[jacquesvol]

Daddy issues:
women enjoying having someone in charge often had a controlling dad and a weak mom.

[gwenlota2442]

nope, not for me. I was close to my dad and he had very high morals. and my adoptive mother was the one in charge of the house. she handled everything.

[jacquesvol]

"very high morals" sounds controlling.

[gwenlota2442]

I guess you don't know what morals mean. he never cheated on his wife, he worked hard to support us along with my step mom, he encouraged both of us to go for what makes us happy and he told me that it would be best to find out who I am and what I want in life before I go out with any boys. he made sure I knew how to do things for myself so I wouldn't have to be dependent on anyone.

[jacquesvol]

Your guess is wrong. :)

[gwenlota2442]

and so was your comment about my father and the daddy issues. unless you can prove me wrong?

[jacquesvol]

I wrote 'often' maybe you're the exception but connecting so called 'high morals' to patriarchy isn't my idea it's their idea. And patriarchy is about controlling.

[gwenlota2442]

OH~! You're a feminist?

[jacquesvol]

A male feminist, yup.

[gwenlota2442]

then your opinion will always be biased non helpful.

[jacquesvol]

Meaning I'm no aye sayer? You guessed right.

[gwenlota2442]

aye sayer?

[jacquesvol]

I leel that women wanting to be degraded while having sex feel guilty and meriting 'punishment' for wanting sex. That's where their education jumped in. Dad's education, of course.

[jacquesvol]

Those 'high morals': '.. Good girls don't..'

[gwenlota2442]

so like a typical feminist, blame men. what happen to women not being victims? what happened to women having the choice to do what they want? what about a girl who sleeps around? does she have daddy issues or is she liberated and acting like a man does so she's on equal terms?

[jacquesvol]

Not all dads are patriarchs and not all girls continue to follow their dad's teachings: many revolt. Some may do the inverse of what the patriarch taught, just to get even.

[gwenlota2442]

so your saying that a girl who sleeps around because her dad told her not to is more mentally healthy then a woman who listens to her dad about saving yourself for one man. even though its the girls who are sleeping around are the ones who never had a close bond with their fathers.

[jacquesvol]

I don't judge mental health. I know psychology but I'm no pychiatrist. Are you?

[gwenlota2442]

don't dodge the question. and you were just judging. you said that because a girl likes to be dominated by her husband/boyfriend that she has daddy issues because of what the father told her. to save herself for marriage and to focus on finding out who she is and what she wants out of life. then I asked you if the girl who sleeps around because she wants to not do what her dad told her to, is liberated or does she also have daddy issues? and its most common that the girl who sleeps around is more likely to have a bad bond with her father. and from what you're telling me, you think that its better for a girl to sleep around, then it is for a woman to be submissive to her husband, just one man. so answer the question. what life choice do you think is better and which one has the daddy issues? the wife who listened to her father about saving herself and becomes sexually submissive to her husband, or the woman who sleeps around who decided to not listen to her father?

[jacquesvol]

It's about way more than the 'talk' and preaching 'saving herself for marriage' . It goes deeper than that. It's about what a 2-5 yr old child learns about how the archetypical woman (like her mother) behaves when interacting with the archetypical man ' (like her dad) , not in special circumstances but in familial and societal roles. It's more about early impressions, about what a child overhears (like slut shaming of persons in their absence) than about outright lessons and commands. About roles thus, place in society. A smart adolescent can get conscience of that and revolt against it. Many don't, of course. Or don't revolt or revolt silently.

[gwenlota2442]

again, you dodged the question. and whats your point with the last post?

[jacquesvol]

It's about role models in the family which a kid sees very early and absorbs-adopts then reproduces later mostly without even realizing it. As I wrote, smarter adolescents may get conscious of this and revolt. (or not)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Role_model

[gwenlota2442]

I know that. and that's why its important for a girl to have a father with strong moral values. and again, you still didn't answer the question I asked.

[jacquesvol]

That's why the daughters of abused women will often be abused wives, later, and why the sons of abusive dads may become abusive husbands. There's of course no law or fate in this, just adults copying often unknowingly what they understood (or misunderstood!) to be 'normal' roles when very young. A better understanding of psychology often helps them to see where they are copying a behavior (or something they thought to be a typical behavior)

[jacquesvol]

I can't resume you here a 225 page psychology course.

[gwenlota2442]

and when did I ever say that I approve of abuse?

[jacquesvol]

Your story will look abusive in many people's eyes. My wife is one of them.

[gwenlota2442]

then that's your prerogative. and you still never answered my question.

[Sex-Kitten]

Wrong. It comes from needing things you might have lacked as a kid. My dad was my friend growing up, not a discipliner. He left mum early on and I grew up being the father, looking after my mum. No-one controlled me, ever. I could do whatever I pleased, total freedom. As an adolescent and young adult, I was always the leader in my groups and people would look up to me. Hence, when I go home, it's nice to relax and have someone take charge of your mind and body for once. And only strong, confident women would understand what being submissive in bed is. Just as only shy little abused girls would understand what it's like to be the dom with their partner. So stop talking shit, pretending to be some great psychologist. If ignorance is bliss, then you must be ecstatic.

[gwenlota2442]

very well said sex kitten.

[Meganeileen]

I just want to say thank you for telling us what you like and celebrating it. For me, the kind of sex your describing creates the very best chemical rushes that i have ever experienced. Also, my mom called all the shots, controlled most everything. My dad was very level-headed and fair. Something about deep submission creates an amazing chemical high in the brain. If i think about it biologically, I’m guessing that nature provides chemical highs for mating to happen.

[Skadouchebag]

It's because most women aren't masochists like you.

[jacquesvol]

Not all masochists and their sadist companions do grasp that.

[Skadouchebag]

@jacquesvol I imagine *every* fetish has practicioners like that.

[Sex-Kitten]

What the hell would you know? Have you seen your profile pic? Have you even lost your virginity yet? Maybe once you have some experience with fucking, it will occur to you how many sexually masochistic women are out there. I bet I've seen more pussy that you have.

[Skadouchebag]

@Sex-Kitten I get my information from scientific articles, all of which say that S&M, like all fetishes, is the exception rather than the rule.

[gwenlota2442]

And its funny how there are hundreds of scientific articles that contradict each other. and I'm sure you will only accept the one that leans further towards your way of thinking.

[Sex-Kitten]

Nice one Asker! It's easy to select the facts that suit you.

[Skadouchebag]

I *always* go about* everything* scientifically. even on matters that run the risk of rendering everything I know a lie! It's the only honest thing to do. Besides, a fetish (or "paraphillia," as it is known to scientists) is*by definition* a deviation from the norm. S&M just happens to be the most common one. Let us also not forget that one can be "vanilla" as opposed to a sadist or masochist. if S&M were the norm, wouldn't *that* be the vanilla?

[gwenlota2442]

and science has been known to be wrong in the past. and don't go changing the subject. and normality is opinion. and from what the pole says above and the way women and men answered, it looks to be normal for people to like rough sex time to time.

[Skadouchebag]

1) Seriously? It's common sense that normality is defined by what is most or more common. If you were the only masochist on the planet, do you really think your *opinion* would mean jack-squat? 2) That is true, but "rough sex" doesn't at all necessitate S&M. it usually means (or so I am told) merely having vanilla sex in a more energetic and slightly aggressive way than normal. (also, this questionnaire can hardly be considered scientific. For one, you failed to provide an "I have no opinion" option, which I would've picked. for another, you put the question in a medium that only tends to attract certain kinds of people)

[gwenlota2442]

and when did I ever use the term bdsm? and opinion does matter. if I do something in everyday life, it will be normal for me. its normal for us to go to a restaurant here in america but its normal for a hunter here in america to hunt his own food. so normality is opinion. and if you didn't agree with what was written here or failed to answer the question, then why did you even feel the need to add in your two cents? I ask for women who do find this stuff degrading to explain to me why they do. and you didn't do either of those things. and it must be pretty easy to read, take it blindly as the truth because it leans to your way of thinking and then copy it to show people that you think you know what you're talking about when you don't. how about you lose some weight, stop being a preachy little child who thinks he knows how people work and go out and get a girlfriend so you can form you're own opinion based on experience instead of articles that you blindly except as fact.

[Skadouchebag]

wanting to be degraded is a kind of bdsm. and that's still not opinion. That would be normal for you, because it's the most common way you go about that. And true, I hadn't realized that I failed to answer the question yet. The reason most people find it degrading in sex is because, well, would it not be degrading in any other situation? I personally can't imagine why you'd want to do stuff like that to someone you love.

[gwenlota2442]

and there it is. you can't have a true unbiased opinion because you don't understand.

[gwenlota2442]

well isn't sex with two willing people called sex and sex with one person that doesn't want it called rape? same logic here. a couple who like to do this kind of rough sex don't consider it degrading.

[Sex-Kitten]

We like to be degraded in sex because it's hot and turns us on. Because many of us would read erotic novels about sexually dominant men and get aroused. Why? Animal nature I guess. The same one all of you 'normal'people try to suppress. Something that's inherent to most pack animals with an alpha male. And something, deny all you want, that's inherent to human nature too. Personally, I can't find anything more boring than vanilla religious sex (religious because they're the ones who suppressed our nature for 2 thousand years and tried to convince everyone sex is not meant to be enjoyed). But hey, by religious standards I guess that makes us girls Satanists.

[Skadouchebag]

@Sex-Kitten We don't try to *suppress* the urges in us, they just aren't there. it's apparantly an evolutionary remnant that accidentally rises to the surface in some people.

[Sex-Kitten]

Wrong. As somebody who's studied human society (from history, sociology and politics) and been watching documentaries, it is evident by cases all over the world that we have inherent instincts. Those involve: survival, instinct to reproduce (sex), self-preservation, and violence. Men are "not like beasts", we ARE beasts. We are animals and no matter how long we've been domesticated, we will always be prisoner to our instinct. Even house cats still exhibit wild behaviour, in spite of being differentiated for millennia.

[Sex-Kitten]

examples include: current discussion topic; territorial wars, the fact that we rely on a pack leader (president), the fact that we gave a pack at all, violence in the world, mutual aid that supports the theory of collaboration for survival, our fight or flight instinct, strage sexual behaviors. You are coming from either an enlightenment or postmodernist perspective of society, neither of which is backed up by natural science.

[Skadouchebag]

Surely the instinct to *have sex* is present to a substantial degree in nearly everyone, but I thought we were talking specifically about the degrading take on it.

[Sex-Kitten]

I was talking about the more dominant male behaviour and the submissive one of the woman. Degradation is but one aspect of submission.

[gwenlota2442]

I wouldn't go blaming Christians, sex kitten. My husband and my self just so happen to be Christians. its the Catholic church that suppressed sexual desires. if anything the bible supports the male being dominant and the wife being submissive roles.

[Skadouchebag]

Actually, the Bible supports *equal* roles. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 reads as follows. "(2) But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. (3) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. (4) For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (5) Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

[gwenlota2442]

it also says that the man is the head of the house hold.

[Skadouchebag]

@Sex-Kitten Oh, I see. Well in that case, I remember a question several months ago asking how many people were doms, subs, or switches (not necessarily in terms of BDSM, of which degradation is classified as a subset). A switch is someone equally fine with being either dom or sub, such as myself. Of the people who voted, they were all equally divided between dom, sub, and switch. There wre much more male doms than female, just as many more female subs than male, but the switches were divided completely evenly between the sexes.

[Skadouchebag]

Well, I guess being dominated would count as your "conjugal rights," so sure.

[QuestionMan]

This sounds awesome, I'd like a girlfriend like that.

[singlebee]

Awesome where can i find a women like you ! LOL 😀😈

[gwenlota2442]

by putting in 20 years of commitment, love, trust, and staying a virgin until marriage. that's what my husband did for me.

[singlebee]

That's great...😊

[gwenlota2442]

it sure is. unless you were being sarcastic.

[singlebee]

No i wasn't being sarcastic.. Actually i am a lot like your boyfriend... I am nerdy... not antisocial but mostly introverted... a bit shy... Never had a girlfriend... or sexual past.. I like video games too... Wasn't a simple Kier and a girl who Is just like me... I will put all my love, commitment and ask for her... I hope i would find someone like you...😊

[singlebee]

*want a simple life *and all for her

[gwenlota2442]

then I wish you good luck in finding that lovely girl! and he's my husband, not boyfriend.

[singlebee]

Oh ya i forgot.. he is your husband... Ya and thanks... now a days its actually it's hard to find girls like you maybe... Cause all i see is girls chasing guys who are not good for them... And they stay with them even if they get screwed over! And they never give the good guys a chance ! Well its their loss... LOL 😀

[gwenlota2442]

yup. they usually ignore the good guys and try to change the bad boys into being a good guy. just be sure to be straight forward with what you are and what you want. and if the girl says no, move on to the next until you find that special one.

[singlebee]

Yup thanks for the advice 😊😊

[gwenlota2442]

you're welcome, and good luck.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Its because some women enjoy having someone in charge its not sexist. Its just the way we, as humans are designed. But some women are taking steps forward to secure their place in society and home-life which I can respect:)

[alonzoslade]

you sound incredibly hypocritical

[gwenlota2442]

hows that exactly?

[alonzoslade]

So you want to be assertive in every other aspect but not in bed? I hate when women do this. You expect men to take the lead in ONE instance and then in every other instance want equality. It is like you are saying treat me equally but not in this case

[gwenlota2442]

when in there or my comments did I ever say that I'm assertive in every other aspect?

[alonzoslade]

"Now when I say owned, I mean sexually. Not as in him controlling my life" You want a free life but then want to be owned sexually. You want to be independent when it benefits you and submissive. You want your cake and you want to eat it to, hypocrite.

[gwenlota2442]

what are you talking about? hows is that being a hypocrite? you must not understand the word. me being a hypocrite is like me saying he can't have female friends but I can have male friends. which isn't true. how is me being submissive most of the time during sex and my husband not bossing me around or calling me those names when not having sex being a hypocrite?

[alonzoslade]

because you are being submissive when you want and then assertive. Can your husband be submissive to you in bed? and will you like that?

[gwenlota2442]

yes he is actually. and its my husband that treats me with respect outside of the bedroom. I didn't make him. My husband likes it when I tie him to the bed and use him how ever I please. we take turns dominating in the bedroom and we take equal responsibility outside the bed room. My husband makes more then enough money to support us so I'm a housewife. I take care of our home. I cook him his breakfast and Lunch and then when he comes home he cooks me dinner. not because I tell him to, but because he wants to. he likes making me happy and in return I make him happy. so how am I being a hypocrite?

[Sex-Kitten]

I'm sorry, she wants to be submissive when it benefits her? It sounds like her husband's into this shit more than she is. Giving your submission to a man is one of the most personal things you can do. In my opinion, it beats even losing your virginity to someone. You're telling your man you will suck his dick and be available for a fucking at his beck and call, whenever he wants. But hey, sounds like something that wouldn't benefit him in the slightest. She wants to suck his dick for her own sake, selfish bitch. How dare she? Enjoy your life of vanilla sex where you have to beg to receive oral and get it once a year on your birthday.

[alonzoslade]

assuming that he wants to be dominant @Sex-Kitten It is when men are expected to be dominant that the hypocrisy takes place

[Sex-Kitten]

Personally, there is no hypocrisy. I don't give a shit about equality within my own relationship. We both respect each other (a fundamental human right), but I'm fine with being the woman in the relationship and him being the man. Some people still enjoy the traditional relationship. Not every woman is a crazy bitch. I still prefer traditional men: strong and dominant. Oh, and if you're not sexually dominant and get with a submissive, there's no sexual compatibility. Break up and be done with it, problem solved. Me, I can't understand submissive men.

[alonzoslade]

That is pretty much the definition of hypocrisy you want equality when it benefits you but in your relationship, you want traditional gender roles @Sex-Kitten

[Sex-Kitten]

If this is 'hypocrisy'then you're going to have to go ahead and explain how, because your definition lost me. Or are you that black and white where it's simply impossible for you to have a mixture of both? Are you black and white in everything you believe in?

[JuicyBrain]

Dude, you know sex is a game right? She is playing the "role" of a sub. How is that hypocritical by any definition that makes sense. Does that mean that, in your mind, actors are hypocrites because they're playing roles? She is an independant woman who, when she plays, she likes to let go and let him take control. How is that hard to understand?

[KindMoriaty]

@alonzolade don't apply equalitarian philosophy to something that has NOTHING to do with philosophy (i. e, sex)

[WhaChaChaKing]

Ugh just not my thing.

[carira]

I totally get you, I loved being owned sexally like that too, its the best

[Itico]

I've been in a dom/sub relationship for a while now. The domination is only half of the story. She belongs to me, I make her write things on her body and because she likes it, I paddle her, control her orgasms and have 'rough' sex.

The other aspect of that is just as important. When we're done, I'll wash her myself. I'll kiss and dote on her, I'll make sure she's spoiled and attended to. When we go out she never has to bring her purse, open a door or feel unsafe.

It's not odd or deviant to want someone take away a little of your control, demand different forms of obedience and/or hurt you for both your pleasure (within the confines of your consent). With that abdication of control you also gain a lot of clarity and ego boosting praise.

When I tell her to get naked and kneel, she knows that I love looking at her body like this that she so fills my senses and thoughts that I have to have her. When I spank her I tell her to 'be brave, I'm so proud of my little slut', she feels accomplishment for her self control.

Don't let anyone tell you that consenting adults have to be a 'certain' way.

[Tyler03]

Ain’t a bad thing like people think your HIS no one else’s you surrender to him in bed no one else people need to realize that me and my wife been together 5 years been together since we were 18 and after a hard day at work and when our kids in bed we have our fun and of course she loves being called that it’s a total turn on for her cause she surrendered to me but outside of the bedroom and our sexual life we are equal and treat each other normal it’s just something to spice up in bed and it works every time for most men and women 🤌🏻

[Anonymous]

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