Do women honestly expect men to look past their expansive sexual history?

[MikhaelKiznov]

I'm a male, 20, from the East Coast, RI to be exacty. I realize that as I'm starting to get more and more into adulthood, that a lot of women (more than I had assumed) are sexually repulsive. Let me give you a couple of honest reasons as to why men don't want women to sleep around. 1. No man wants his potential son or daughter coming out of a hole that 50 other men have stuck their penis in. 2. Compare the concept to keys. Men are like keys, women are like locks. A key that unlocks all locks is called a "Masterkey" because most keys can't do what it does. So that key is respected; but a lock that can be unlocked by any key, isn't a good lock, is it? Men and women are held to different standards because we're just different. 3. No man trusts a woman that is promiscuous, even if she claims to be loyal. Why? Because as previously stated, it's easier for women to sleep around than it is for men, and now that the woman has that she has strong sexual desires and has a tendency to fulfill them with multiple sex partners, you now have the no choice but to be cautious or completely turned off to the idea of dating that person. It's like having a dog (not saying women are like dogs, but the situation is similar) that likes to jump the fence and has the ability to do so. Is it not natural then to worry that the dog will eventually jump the fence? And so, would you be wrong for not getting that dog or being cautious when you do get it? This has nothing to do with social progressiveness. This has everything to do with nature and a people looking for compatible partners. Obviously, if you don't agree with her lifestlye, then she's not for you, maybe someone else is, and vice versa; but in a society where we're promoting this sexually-"whatever happens let it happen" lifestyle, I can imagine how soon there will be an enourmous shortage of (I hate to use this word but) "qualified" partners for men that desire that.

[milightman]

Reading this question, it honestly made me feel infuriated to know more and more Men like you exist.

To be quite honest here, your idea of how a woman should be and act, all the while you attempting to speak on behalf of the Men out there, is atrocious. Maybe you just associate yourself with a bunch of people who share your perspective but you're forgetting that's not the entire world, this world is a lot bigger, and the vast majority of us don't approve of your intolerance, and archaic beliefs against women.

Let me ask you this, what really makes you think that a woman's sexual history will confirm to you that she will be faithful towards you? Because honestly a girl could have been with over 10, 20, even more guys without you ever knowing and could be the best thing to ever happen you, verse that one girl who's never been with one or only been with 1 or 2, and be a total nightmare. She'll treat you terribly, lie, and even one day start cheating, and happens way more than you think.

Another thing how do you expect women to not have fun? We live in a big world not some small town, a girl can go anywhere she wants, have sex, not have any issues, repeat, and you would never know about it, period. So wake up with this idealized vision you have women, they have sex drives just like us, and can have sex, just like us.

The amount of partners does not correlate the value of that person, any correlation you try to make is a complete fallacy. You know what it is, you're insecure, completely insecure with yourself. You can't handle the fact you weren't her first, so you want to make her to something she isn't to compensate on your fantasies of your "dream" woman, which is unrealistic. You're a little boy who was raised by some outdated idealism by his parents, blanketed by some community who hide from the dark, and you continue to stick with these people so you can dwell in it. You're afraid of something you're not used to and that says a lot about you, you fear what doesn't fit your perspective in life, and people like you become nothing obsolete in the ever evolving world towards a better future. It's like they say, what happens when something doesn't evolve? They go extinct, which you will, with your beliefs, which is happening right now, and you won't accept that

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what a yes or no vote means but I voted so I could comment. You analogy to locks and master keys is totally absurd. You have found a ridiculous excuse to justify you maintaining a double standard. You want to screw every pussy you can get and you want your wife to be a virgin princess. If she has sexual experience, you won't trust her, but you expect her to trust you when you've screwed half the women in your own neighborhood? You sound like the kind of guy who will justify having affairs when you are married by blaming your wife.

Please post something five years from now and tell us how this attitude worked out for you.

[MikhaelKiznov]

The lock analogy was spot-on. It displayed how not every key can open every lock (not every man can get every woman), but the key that can is called the "Hasterkey" (the guy that can get every woman is called a stud and is highly revered by his male friends and acquaintances). A lock shouldn't be able to be opened by any key (women generally reject most advances), but they lock that can be opened by any key is useless and no one respects it (women that accept a lot of male advances are looked down upon). Tell me that's not the current state of our society. I'm not the type to cheat, I just realize that in all of human history, the man that has gotten the most females is considered the alpha male. But now, self-righteous Gen-Zs and Gen-Ys want to change that because promiscuous women can't handle the burden of their sexual past, and have made beta males gain a sense of guilt.

[Opinion Owner]

You're a genius! If anyone doesn't already know that, you can tell them. You are a legend in your own mind! Do you have any idea how that attitude affects other people? Do you care?

[Rei02]

This can't only happen with men towards women, it can also happen the way around. The problem is that men can be more excused because most of our societies are the product of older ones based on patriarchies where it was ok to have a lot of women and represented the economical level of the man. (more wives, more concubines = more richness, power and a legacy). Women were the most punished if they weren't virgins before their official marriages, if they committed adultery or if they got raped, but if men did that (unless they were enemies or rivals of the society), the solution was either to pay a fine or marry the girl.

Yeah, the past is in the past, and it is supposed that as long as the couple has a relationship according to their own terms, everything should be alright. Normally a romantic relationship consists in just two, although both agree to things like the free, the swing, poligamy, to experiment new things, etc.

But no matter how open minded we want to be, in both genders, there is going to be a breakpoint where jealousy and insecurities appear if you push it harder or if you aren't honest with yourself and your personal mores.

Everyone has a past, so do you, so do I, and even though you are a couple, that doesn't mean you have to know everything about the other, unless it is important in economical, medical or life terms. And if there are things from your past of which you aren't proud about nor you want to remember about yourself, then what can make you think that you can accept other person's past?

Eg, Tess of the D'Uberville, it wasn't her fault she got raped and pregnant, but everybody, even her supposed open minded boyfriend, was pointing that it was her fault.

A girlfriend could tell her boyfriend that it is fine if he dances with someone else at a party or if he goes to have lunch with an ex like a friend, but when she sees it, she can get insecure or jealous even though she said it was ok.

[Anonymous]

dude its 2915,... things are soooooooooooooo bad and a lot of people are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid that now there is the retarded free the nipple crap campaign
because... mens chest are apparently the same as womens breasts and if one can be shown no problem then the other can too andthey say when you actually respect yourself enough to flash them you are insecure or afraid of them or sexualizing them... DEAR GOD !! WHAT >>!

idiots... idiots everywhere

i hear you man, i would feel so cheap and easy if i give it to just anyone, and i dont want a promiscuous guy either !
but girls who sleep around and have one night stands and such... well its too late for them and society has affected them and brainwashed them soo bad into thinking this is actually ok and normal... to make things easier for men
just look around, women nowadays would flash for like a free coffee or something... that's cheaper than a cheap hooker !
nudity is now outside of porn and its "normal"
for a lot of women it takes less than a second to get them to take pics in their underwear, or let a guy feel their butt or motorboat them just for a utube video

... i feel you, bt yea... i think it's too late... and GAG is not the place

[nalaa]

You know I'm tired of guys complaining that women sleep around. If you all wouldn't go for sluts but for more modest girls, like you did in the 50s we wouldn't have to have casual sex
You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't choose the promiscuous girls all your life and then when you're ready to settle down demand one that hasn't be around equally

I'm not for casual sex but guys like this annoy me to no end

[singlebee]

What if the guy is virgin?

[MikhaelKiznov]

I don't go for sluts. I go for modest girls. You could flip the responsibility on the guy, but it can be taken both ways. Some guys will argue that because getting laid is a challenge, the urge to get laid kind of creates itself. It's like people want things that aren't obtainable. But you have to look even further, because ultimately, men do the asking, women do the accepting and rejecting. A man, in essence, asks to have sex with a particular female. It's the females job to accept or reject. If the female accepts, how can you blame men for only going after sluts, when by definition, a slut it only can only become a slut by her own doing. So the argument can be made that if there were no sluts, men wouldn't go after them.

[nalaa]

@singlebee and asker I meant you as in you men, not you personally

[nalaa]

and as for the asker, with the absence of social norms in which we do live, it's a supply demand issue. Men demand sluts, women provide

[lanternhill]

The key analogy is terrible - how exactly are the men the ones who open the lock? That turns sex into a kind of predatory affair (pun intended).

I don't appreciate promiscuity in either gender. And I wouldn't want to be with someone who is willing to "open any lock." Don't tell me that standards are irrelevant here because as I said your analogy is already bad.

[lanternhill]

I am aware that able and willing are different things, by the way.

[MikhaelKiznov]

The lock analogy was spot-on. It displayed how not every key can open every lock (not every man can get every woman), but the key that can is called the "Hasterkey" (the guy that can get every woman is called a stud and is highly revered by his male friends and acquaintances). A lock shouldn't be able to be opened by any key (women generally reject most advances), but they lock that can be opened by any key is useless and no one respects it (women that accept a lot of male advances are looked down upon). Tell me that's not the current state of our society. The "open any lock" part was is just a part of what I said that you're misconstruing. You're taking an analogy literally, and that's the first problem. It's an ANALOGY. An analogy analyzes two similar concepts, it doesn't analyze the subjects. It's like when people say "you're comparing apples to oranges". That saying it stupid because if you're comparing apples to apples, what's there to really compare?

[lanternhill]

Current state of society doesn't equal how society should be. I understand the analogy but that doesn't mean it's worth agreeing with, as your question implies. An analogy likens concept A to concept B; therefore a correct analogy does imply apples only, in a sense. Apples to oranges implies a false analogy.

[Janice25]

It's understandable that you would prefer her having fewer partners... However your dream girl can and likely will lie to you about how many people she has been with, especially if you ask her (she will know that you're fishing for a low number).

So you could meet a girl in a few years who has had sex with 100 guys, and she can tell you "I've only been with 2 men before you." There's nothing that can legit track the number of sexual partners a person has had.

[MikhaelKiznov]

And that's the messed up part. Why would a woman lie? That means that she's ashamed of her sexual past. So you're proving my point. If a woman is subliminally ashamed at her sexual past, then how can she expect a guy to look past it? She can't.

[Janice25]

But the fact is you will NEVER know if she is telling the truth lol... You will never have to look past her history, because you won't know what it really is. She would lie if she likes you and senses that you're going to think badly of her because she's had more than 1 or 2 partners.

[Janice25]

And by the way, just because women CAN more easily get a guy to agree to sleep with them doesn't mean that they will act on it... It doesn't make it more likely she will cheat on you either. Generally women link emotion with sex (not all women, but they are more likely to than men). As long as they are emotionally and sexually satisfied with you, they won't run off to have sex with someone else.

[MikhaelKiznov]

But a smart man knows the attitude of a sexually promiscuous woman. There are subtle ways of thinking you pick of from being sexually promiscuous, that come off as unorthodox to a sexually conservative person, and you can pick that up. If a woman lies about her sexuality you're she's just saying "no" to the question I asked up-top. And, that second point you made is false. Women who "get what they want" when it comes to men, and have gotten what they want regarding of quantity of men, are statistically proven to account of the 90 percentile of cheating, meaning they make of over 90+% of cheating incidents by women. It's that saying, "people are only as faithful as their options". Bless the person that came to that conclusion.

[Janice25]

I don't really understand this sentence "If a woman lies about her sexuality you're she's just saying "no" to the question I asked up-top" Regardless, a woman can SAY any number she wants. I didn't have sex until I was 21 - but I still went out and partied, dressed naughtily, etc, seemed like I was sexually promiscuous. Today, I can tell a guy that I've been with 5 people or 50 (of course I would never tell a guy 50 because he might judge me like you). As for my comment #2, I was just saying that you shouldn't worry about a woman cheating on you even if she has been with several men before you. What you said as far as 90% of cheating women being promiscuous does make sense logically. I mean, if she's cheating on you then she is increasing her "number." Also, at least for me, it doesn't matter what my options are if I'm in a happy relationship. But maybe times have changed!

[MikhaelKiznov]

1. The question I asked as Do you expect men to look past your sexual past". If she says "no", then she's agreeing with my stance on the view. But why would you lie to a guy? That's wrong on so many levels. If you know a guy wouldn't get with a woman that slept with 50 men, then don't sleep with 50 men. It's so simple. For me, a woman sleeping with 5 men is still far too many, but that's just men. I'd prefer her be a virgin. And you're right, times have changed. But I should worry about a woman cheating on me if she's been with seven men before me. It's kind of like a used car at that point, "Why did it have 50 owners before it gt to me?". Logically you will ask "What's wrong with it". Apparently if she keeps seeing guy after guy, and not one of them worked, that raises multiple red flags.

[Janice25]

I'd vote "NO" in that context... I don't expect a man to not be bothered by the thought of me with other men, but I also hope he's confident enough to know that he doesn't have to compare himself to anyone before him. A previous boyfriend would always ask how big he was compared to others, and I had only slept with 1 person before him! And still, not being a virgin or having had more than one sexual partner in the past doesn't mean she will cheat on you. Hopefully you find what you're looking for. On the other hand, I can see your point about a girl having had lots of relationships that didn't work out and this raising a red flag about WHY they didn't work out. It doesn't mean she cheated, she could just be crazy lol.

[AustinMan]

Don't ask, don't tell. It doesn't matter. If you love her and trust her, that's enough. Leave the past in the past.

[litost]

say it with me kids misogyny

[MikhaelKiznov]

It's not misogyny, it's self-respect.

[litost]

how do you measure someone elses SELF respect

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Yay, another twat has joined. Just letting you know now... we will not get on...

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

But welcome to the site, you'll fit right in here!

[singlebee]

I sense so much of bitterness in you... poor you 😊

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

@singlebee I'm pessimistic and I speak my mind, I'm sure I would find you nauseatingly saccharine.

[singlebee]

I guess you fucked 100 guys and got dumped by your boyfriend because of which you are so bitter... LOL

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

@singlebee make up whatever you need to...

[MikhaelKiznov]

How am I a twat, just because I don't want a woman that has slept with every guy. There is statistical evidence the promiscuous women account almost all of cheating women, and that the number of a woman's sexual partners directly correlates with her likelihood of cheating. It sounds like you're calling me a twat because I remind you of the self-respecting guys you can't get who pay you no attention due to your sexual history.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

You can all assume what the hell you want to in order to justify my view, but it isn't true. It isn't the basic principle, it's you... It's how you're saying it and the reasons you are using.

[Sara413]

Using the key/lock analogy is one of the easiest ways to let women know you're a douche and not to waste their time on you lol

No respect.

[idkwtftoputhere]

Lmao I just assume they're a dumbass

[MikhaelKiznov]

Except you missed the fact that there is nothing about that analogy that I can't directly relate to "here" and "now" regarding our society. It's completely relevant, and any woman who weeds me out based off me saying that is they type of promiscuous woman I'd want to weed herself out so I wouldn't have to waste my time.

[lanternhill]

Per my answers above, asker - applicable to current society doesn't mean that it is what should be the norm. And your assumption - that any woman who "weeds you out" based on your use of the key analogy must be promiscuous and therefore worth weeding out - is embarrassingly bad logic.

[7heDubz]

Oh hoho here we go,

[gwenlota2442]

NEVER get with a slut. And NEVER get with a man slut. simple as that. neither deserve to have a family or a happy ending. ever.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Who the hell are you to say who deserves children? What a fucking fascist.

[gwenlota2442]

well, since there has been many studies showing that the larger the past sexual partner count the higher the divorce rate. which means more split up families. and people who have no self control don't deserve a prize such as a happy family. you didn't earn it.

[singlebee]

Yup we need more girls like you...

[MikhaelKiznov]

You're absolutely right. No kid should have to go through that. Although I think a man can't be a slut.

[gwenlota2442]

sure he can. he may be judged differently but a slut is still a slut and can't be trusted to be a good husband or father. a slut will cheat on her husband and a man slut will cheat on his wife. a sluts a slut. no matter the gender.

[MikhaelKiznov]

Not true, naturally, a man can't be a slut. Biologically, a man can't be a slut. Why? because he already is one. Men are born sluts. If a man doesn't become one, there's something wrong with him. men are born promiscuous, but "slut", that's only something a female can be.

[gwenlota2442]

the definition of a slut is someone who sleeps around. and don't go calling all men are sluts. both me and my husband were virgins when we got married. never seen another person naked and neither has he. other than his past with porn. a man who sleeps around is weak. he shows no self control so you can't depend on him to be a good father or husband. its easy for a guy to sleep around just like women. its takes a real man who knows self control to be a good husband and father. your weak. a pathetic easy man that can't be depended on.

[JuicyBrain]

That means you have one chance ! You better make sure you choose the right guy because if you divorce and seek happiness with another man, that makes you a slut and a hypocrite, though a happy one. Which would you prefer?

[gwenlota2442]

the only reason we would divorce is abuse or cheating. which neither of us show any signs of. and just because one marriage didn't work out doesn't make you a slut. if a woman or man is betrayed in their marriage by their spouse, and then gets a divorce and looks for a partner who will love them. it doesn't mean they're hypocrites or sluts. because they wait for a relationship that looks like it will lead into marriage before having sex.

[Curmudgeon]

For a young man, I can understand from where you are coming. However, by the time you reach my age, everyone has a past and that is that.

[MikhaelKiznov]

And you apparently (not getting smart), have chosen to accept that past. I on the other hand, will choose not to. I just can't bear the thought of me settling for a woman that has settled for every other man. You kind of get that feeling like "okay, now she knows her promiscuity has cost her the ability to find a serious guy, and can't pull the muscular studs at the gym studs she used to because they think she's kind of nasty, now she's settling for me". Lol.

[Curmudgeon]

Women in my age range have pasts, unless you expect me to go after gold-digging teenybopper bimbos. The Real World--welcome to it.

[Curmudgeon]

And I'm sure you will just be single again, probably multiple divorces, with a smug attitude like that, by the time you are my age. Oh well, live and learn, the hard way.

[CityBoy773]

Same thing with guys. I doubt a girl wants to fuck a guy who's had his dick in so many pussies, he's lost count past 20.

[CityBoy773]

The difference is one gender is praised for it, but this works both ways buddy. Don't be sexist.

[itsallover]

'Don't be sexist' The irony...

[MikhaelKiznov]

It's not sexist, it's just natural. People are so intensely focused on making things fair that they don't realizes that a lot of things that are different can't possibly be fair because their differences are the things that make them unfair. For example, men don't get periods. So will it ever be completely fair? No, but we accept that men don't get periods, as a fundamental difference between men and women. Sometimes you just have to accept that men and women are fundamentally different.

[itsallover]

Lol sorry opinion owner I thought Asker made that comment.

[CityBoy773]

It's fine @itsallover And asker guy, you made no sense. This is about dating and love, not biology. Just because a guy is told to, and most guys generally do, fuck around with every girl he see's doesn't also mean every girl will look past HIS history because he's male. So, in my opinion, you have no right to look past that fact and try to judge women on their sexual history when its a known fact that guys are told to stick their little hardon in every girl they meet because "its natural" while girls are told so many conflicting things I can't even begin to name them.

[kambo_trick3y]

Same answer as everything else here. Some girls do expect you to see past history, some girls don't expect you to see past history.

The way I see it, I believe you're allowed to have whatever standards you want, just as long as you are not a hypocrite.

If a girl tells me how, or how I shouldn't view sex, I tell her to shut the fuck up. If I am every bit what I ask for in my potential partner, then I don't give a shit about how YOU see sex, I am going to see sex the way I WANT to see it.

If you've kept yourself clean, then you're perfectly within your rights to ask for a clean girl. If you're dirty, then you have no right asking for jack shit.

Simple.

[MikhaelKiznov]

I believe I should be able to sleep with as many women as I want, but my potential wife shouldn't be able to sleep with as many men as she wants. Kambo, the isn't a fair world. We run into problems when people try to make it fair because the logistics just don't work. We're different, and you have to accept our differences. You can argue that biologically men were made to sleep with as many women as they could possibly sleep with. As a man, (one happy one at that), I could hypothetically impregnate 1-3 women every day for my entire life if I started at 13 and ended at 80 (died), that's 73,365 kids. A woman, can at most, have 36 biological children in a lifetime, if she started at 14 and stopped at 50 (around menopause). If that doesn't same something biologically to you, I can't help you. Supposedly, Chingghis Kahn has enough descendants now to populate all of Tokyo. That's roughly 13.5 million people.

[kambo_trick3y]

That's a very evil, and very hypocritical mentality that you have my friend. I've seen my fair share of bad things in my life, and I mean this with the upmost seriousness (and I'm not known for being very serious), it's people who think like you are usually the types who cause suffering to other people and they don't mind doing it, simply because they aren't the ones feeling the pain. As long as everything comes up flowers and kittens, they don't care how badly the world around them burns, or who gets trampled along the way, so long as they're in the comfort seat. You're right, the world isn't fair, but you shouldn't just accept it simply because it's in your favor. It's people like you that make life unfair.

[lanternhill]

Aaaaand based on this final comment by the asker, I have no further interest in reading this question/its comments. Asker, you disgust me (and I would think a large amount of the virgins out there). Hypocrisy and misogyny together - impressive. It would be nice to say you're a troll but sadly I think you're not.

[JessRoxHard]

I wouldn't worry about it if I was you. With that attitude towards women, you would probably struggle to get a girlfriend anyway.

[singlebee]

And what if he still gets a gf?

[MikhaelKiznov]

You're right, but my struggle isn't to get a girlfriend; but rather to find one worth dating. I find it funny that the only flack I'm catching is from women that respond with conviction, almost as if they have an expansive sexual past and instead of admitting and relating their lack of sexual control to their inability to find a good guy, they blame men.

[itsallover]

No one cares, just find yourself a nice pure virgin, ride off into the sunset and be done with complaining about what a woman does sexually.

[MikhaelKiznov]

That's the problem. Virgins are the stark minority.

[itsallover]

Well then get your head out of the Dark Ages and recognise that women have sex. Deal with it.

[JuicyBrain]

THANK YOU ! Let the idiots die out, don't let them reproduce...

[JuicyBrain]

Stop saying no men when it's just you.
Your analogy with the locks is just dishonest. Women do not work the way locks do. It's just the way you want to see it and you are being childish. You want women to all be virgins but you want to bang them all and still not be called a hypocrite. That's what you are trying to achieve with your stupid locks.
The day you are going to have a baby (god forbid) the last thing you are gonna think about is the number of dicks that went in there.

You know a vagina cleans itself right? There are no remnants from their past encounters staying in there. The filthyness that you see is all in your mind.

Why is it that women are not disgusted knowing that your dick went in other vaginas? Is it because they care about important things that makes sense instead? They probably just trust that you take a shower once in a while...

Guys like you are just goddamn idiots.
Don't bother replying, there is nothing that a weak brain like yours can come up with that won't just make it even worse...

[Chamberskevins]

Just practice safe sex. If I'm going to get intimate it's because I have feelings for someone, not just to get laid.

[normalice]

1. Speak for yourself. Anyway, not all men want children.

2. This analogy only works if you consider female sexuality something vile that should be locked away (I don't)

3. I like sex. There is no chance of me having quality or quantity of sex that I want with a girl who isn't promiscuous. Maybe when I was very young I thought something like what you do, but after years or attacking bolts with a hammer, I'd be delighted to finally find a nail.

[MikhaelKiznov]

1. You're speaking for the minority, not the majority. Rules are made to protect the minority, with the interest of the majority being the driving factor. 2. The analogy is relevant. There's nothing I said that I can't directly relate to what is happening here and now. 3. That's fine, and there's plenty of promiscuous women out there for you to choose from. All I'm saying is this, these promiscuous males want to keep banging hot women and are marrying at much lower rates than these promiscuous females. So the result is, the promiscuous females want to settle down and the only people eligible are the non-promiscuous or even promiscuous males who want NON-promiscuous females. Then they blame men for only going after sluts as their excuse for being a slut, and get mad when no man wants them. It doesn't have to be fair, it just is what it is. And as a female, if she chose to gamble her marriage options on the odds that some male would accept her promiscuity, that's her fault.

[normalice]

1. You can't assume you speak for the majority. You can only speak for yourself, as can I. 2. Yes. It's relevant, to you, because you view female sexuality as a vile thing that must be caged. I don't. 3. What is your source for all of this? Not only have I never met a promiscuous girl, I've also never met a girl over 30 who wanted to be married but wasn't.

[Frost_Byt3]

I completely agree. I wouldn't even date a girl who has slept with more than 3 people before me. I just wouldn't be able to stop thinking about another guy pounding her from behind... and her enjoying it.

Plus, the less people she has had sex with, the less people she will compare me with. I mean, how horrible would it be to hear that "my ex was better in the sack, but i still love you anyways".

[itsallover]

Sounds like insecurity to me.

[Frost_Byt3]

@itsallover So your saying that you wouldn't get hurt if your boyfriend said "my ex was better in bed than you, but i still love you anyway"? I think your just kidding yourself. Anyone would het hurt by hearing this, not just insecure people.

[itsallover]

I say this with complete honesty, I actually wouldn't care. His ex is an ex for a reason, and he's with me now so that's what matters, really. I guess guys have it harder though, as you have to do most of the 'work', so I can understand that. Someone who outwardly compares you to their exes isn't worth being with anyway.

[Frost_Byt3]

@itsallover I know someone who compares me to their exes OUT LOUD isn't worth being with. But only she knows whats going on inside her head. Even if she doesn't say anything, i guarentee she is comparing me to her exes. So call it "insecure" if you want, but i want a girl who has had sex with as little amount of guys as possible, so that i have less competition. I want to be better than her exes in every way, not second best in the bedroom. But unlike the asker, i believe men can be sluts too. So its not like its a double standard. I've never been one to sleep around, and I've only had 3 sexual partners (all of which were within a relationship), and they were all shitty in bed, so there is no competition for my next girlfriend. So i expect her to have slept with only 3 guys before me or less.

[itsallover]

I guess you'd be better off dating a virgin then, she'll have nothing to compare you to.

[Frost_Byt3]

@itsallover yeah... I'm not gonna lie, i would prefer a virgin. And sometimes i wish i was still a virgin too so people wouldn't think its unreasonable for me to want a virgin. But in reality, i can handle it if she has slept with a couple people before. It would be hard, and it'd take some reassurance on her part, but its doable. But more than 3 is when i draw the line.

[itsallover]

Nothing wrong with that at all, if it gives you peace of mind then that's what matters :)

[Janice25]

LOL "... and her enjoying it"

[Xelebrum]

For those who don't understand why it is that men are praised for sleeping around while women aren't, and why women are praised for their virginities while men aren't:

Women put in little to no effort into getting laid. As long as they aren't fat, ugly, or dumb (being intelligent isn't even mandatory) there are multiple guys who'd want to sleep with her. Men, on the other hand, have to meet a much larger criteria before he has any chance of getting laid with any girl. Men have to WORK to get laid. That is why men who sleep around are praised. Because it proves that they have the qualities that a woman seeks, they've proven themselves. Why else is it that womanizers tend to be very fit, attractive, intelligent, and well-to-do financially?

A woman who sleeps around with many men, despite having many more options than guys do, shows that she has poor judgment. And women who have poor judgment are usually far from girlfriend/wife material.

A man who DOESN'T sleep around, or worse is a virgin, is given shit because men are deemed by society to be inherently worthless. Unless we have wealth and/or power, we are seen as failures of men and are expendable. A man who sleeps around is praised because they've proven their worth. They've proven to have the desired traits that are expected out of us, that women desire. And only men with those traoys are deemed boyfriend/husband material.

Am I saying that I agree with the double standards that BOTH genders face? No. I'm just stating WHY those standards exist in the first place.

[Xelebrum]

I apologize for any typos, I wrote this on my phone.

[Xelebrum]

"A woman who sleeps around with many men, despite having many more options than guys do, shows that she has poor judgment. And women who have poor judgment are usually far from girlfriend/wife material." I misspoke. I what I meant to write was "A woman who sleeps around many men, including men deemed average or sub-par, despite being able to get any man she wants, shows that she has poor judgment. And women who have poor judgment are not girlfriend/wife material."

[BelleGirl21]

Just don't be a hypocrite in your standards.

[cinderelli]

i agree with you.. same is the case if a guy is a slut..

[singlebee]

Yes same is the csse with guys...👍

[cinderelli]

yup... exactly.. @singlebee

[MikhaelKiznov]

That's fine for you to think that, but we hold to separate opinions on guys being sluts. Well, I have credited evidence that men can't be sluts.

[cinderelli]

whoever sleeps around is a slut.. @asker

[idkwtftoputhere]

1. She can always get a c-section
2. There's also an another analogy. Dicks are like pencils and vaginas are like pencil sharpeners. A pencil sharpener that is sharpened by many pencils is useful/good whereas a pencil that needs to be sharpened by many pencil sharpeners is dull/bad. See how stupid that sounds? That's what happens when you try and compare complex body parts to everyday objects.
3. There are some guys that legit don't care about this, but if you don't want to date a promiscuous woman, then don't. Lol you're not obligated to.

[MikhaelKiznov]

1. You're missing the point. 2. Except you made an analogy that doesn't correlate with anything that is happening in our society. I related mine to our current societal situations. The lock analogy was spot-on. It displayed how not every key can open every lock (not every man can get every woman), but the key that can is called the "Hasterkey" (the guy that can get every woman is called a stud and is highly revered by his male friends and acquaintances). A lock shouldn't be able to be opened by any key (women generally reject most advances), but they lock that can be opened by any key is useless and no one respects it (women that accept a lot of male advances are looked down upon). Tell me that's not the current state of our society. Also, a pencil sharpener that has sharpened many pencils has a dulling blade. And a pencil that has been sharpened by many sharpeners is a good pencil because it's being written with a hell of a lot. It all depends on how you look at it Sweets.

[MikhaelKiznov]

3. But there are even more guys that do care, and their options are running dry because of this stupid "let's make everyone equal despite our differences" mentality. It doesn't work, and never has. It's just promiscuous women blaming men liking sluts for their promiscuity. But it takes a woman for both a man and a woman to be promiscuous. Why? Men ask, women reject and accept. So if she accepts the sexual advances of a lot of guys, their sexual promiscuity and her sexual promiscuity starts with HER decision.

[idkwtftoputhere]

1. I know I was but still, it's a valid option lmao 2. You missed the point too which was mainly that comparing biological and complex organs with inanimate objects no matter if it is applicable to our society is still pretty stupid. Most people think sluts and whores are worthless or indecent because of a little something called morality. Vaginas don't get more loose with promiscuity, just age and childbirth. Also like I've previously mentioned, if you don't wanna date a slut then don't,"virginity" isn't as uncommon as you think. I still don't see the point of this rant you have posed as a question.

[idkwtftoputhere]

3. Oh fucking well, that's life and although I do think women should make more of an effort in the dating world instead waiting for a guy to magically come in their life and sweep them off their feet, I can't really do anything about the injustices of society.

[MikhaelKiznov]

The point is that as society becomes more accepting of these behaviors, the pool of "qualified" women for men that don't want promiscuous women shrinks. In asking this question, I wanted to find out what percentage of women actually thought men should look past the fact that they've screwed the town (pun intended). My sample size was small and my sample community was fairly biased, so my results weren't accurate, but I definitely got a feel for the response I'd get if I asked this in a larger environment. Also, I didn't miss the point with my analogy because a lock to a key is the direct relationship men and women play out. The key pursues the lock. The lock accepts or rejects the key. The key goes into the lock. Once the key and the lock match they're a pair. Locks that can be unlocked by every key aren't desired. Keys that can unlock every lock are upheld. This can all be DIRECTLY related to the relationship between a man and female. It's like poetry. Similes.

[idkwtftoputhere]

You don't have to keep explaining the analogy to me, I understand what you're saying but you're generalizing. Not EVERY relationship involves a man pursuing a woman, just most. Although, I have noticed this is gradually changing (at least in my area, I don't know about you) and there are some girls approaching guys now so that analogy can be irrelevant and will be irrelevant if there does end up being a significant change and women begin to pursue men. There are TONS of girls out there waiting for marriage but they often tend to be religious so I'll argue that the "pool of qualified women" for you hasn't really shrank that much but it does depend on where you live too.