Why Do So Many Women Reject A Guy After A 1st Date?

[Anonymous]

Yes, men do the same thing, but for different reasons. A man will decide a woman isn't worth a 2nd date for the following reasons: -He knew that he couldn't get laid. -She wasn't as attractive as he thought she was. -She was rude and inconsiderate of his efforts. Those are all reasons why a man wouldn't see a girl again, especially if he couldn't get laid... if that was what he is after - Just for the ladies who say men do the same thing. Now... back on topic. Dating for men is hard, and it is a numbers game! I have literally been on maybe 20 something dates, spanning all the way back to December of last year. Out of all those dates, I have only gotten 2 second dates. Some women expressed interest in seeing me again and never got back to me when I reached out. I am not a bad guy, and I know how to communicate with people... hell, I am a salesman and the money I make depends on it. When I go on dates, I dress nice and smell good (demonstrating good hygiene), I make eye contact (demonstrating confidence), I pay for everything (demonstrating a provider and that I am not cheap), I compliment my date, make her feel important and make sure the convo is going back and forth and she is having a good time. I've been on dates with women who would seeminly have fun on a date, but then run back to their snapchat a few days after the date and put up memes about being forever alone. I've also been on dates with women who would get tipsy during the date, call their friends, tell their friend how horny they are and how there are no good men (while on a date with me). This doesn't just happen to me. I've had this happen to my friends as well. Even my older brother, who has been on dthe dating scene for 15 years (after his fiancee left him), has been having the same luck as me and he is 38! I'm not a bag guy, I'm not looking for sex... I am genuinely trying to meet nice, down to Earth women, but they reject men so fast.

[Philophile]

I agree with @Sadly_It_Fell_Off, maybe you're (consciously or unconsciously) choosing the same type of women, over and over again, so you keep experiencing the same thing. It sounds like the women you go on dates with are pretty shallow and immature, to be honest.

For me, I rejected a guy after the third date, but I knew from the very first minute of the first date that I had absolutely no feelings for him and was not at all attracted to him. I didn't keep going on dates to lead him on; I did it because I genuinely enjoyed his company and didn't want to trust my first impression and opinion of him, so I gave it two more dates, and then made my decision that he wasn't who I wanted to continue dating.

I don't know the kind of women you're taking out on dates, but from the examples you gave, they sound immature. If they're going to go on Snapchat about how lonely they are after having recently gone on a date with you, they just want the attention from a man, any man, really; they don't genuinely want a relationship or anything substantial. Also, if they're getting drunk on the first date, that says something. Any classy lady, and any lady who is genuinely interested in dating you, would limit herself.

If you're looking for a genuine connection that will lead to a second, and other subsequent dates, you need to stop taking out immature girls who only want you to pay for their drinks and shower them with compliments.

I'm not saying all the women you date are like that; some of the women just maybe really didn't have a connection with you and consequently didn't want a second date... and that's not something you have control over.

[Asker]

Very insightful. I agree. However, it is tough for me to decipher the "immature women" sometimes those true personas don't come out until the date :/. Still... nice post.

[Philophile]

I understand that it can be difficult; however, there are a few things that you can do that can help you “filter out” who is worth asking out a date from who isn’t. For example: -How is her grammar/the way she speaks? Is she capable of forming a coherent sentence? Is she able to convey feelings/ideas? -Try asking her some deeper questions. If all you two talk/text about is a party from the weekend, then it’s difficult to really get an idea of who she is. Ask her something that interests you & see how she responds. If she’s not able to come up with something substantial, she’s probably not worth it. -Is she employed? If so, ask her about her job and & see how she responds. If she always talks about workplace drama, that might be an indicator that she’s probably the one who is either causing it or asking for it. Things like that. Basically, try asking her things that will show you that she has substance, and not just a shallow girl looking for some free drinks and a good time.

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

Doesn't this tell you that you're consistently falling for the same type of girl? Time to break the pattern and branch out a little maybe?

For me, chemistry is an important factor and I've got to feel that with his mind, body and soul. He's gotta make me laugh, take life just seriously enough, be ambitious, have his own life, have something to say and be interested as well as interesting. Sometimes, I find that guys either go overboard in demonstrating they have it all going on or empty vessels but flash. I am not saying these things apply to you but to answer your question, clicking with someone sometimes takes a 100 hours of try before buy.

[Robbey]

No connection, no chemistry, no attraction, bad manners, uninteresting, drunk, hit on me are all reasons why I've not gone on a second date with someone.

[meatballs21]

Bishes be cray cray, yo. I went on a first date with a cute one, we met for coffee, were having such a good time we extended it to dinner. After dinner we walked and talked more and said goodbye, I texted her the next day and she suggested we meet up after the weekend.

A few days before the weekend the texted again and said she was worried she was going too fast and needed time to 'process'. I said sure, that was fine... and I never heard from her again.

*shrugs*

[OlderAndWiser]

If women consistently treat you in a particular and unusual way, it is either something about you, or something about all of them. Which seems to be the more logical conclusion?

[psychomonkey]

Dude some guys don't even get to the first date. Either they didn't feel a connection or you don't have the qualities they want (which is totally not your fault).

[Anonymous]

Because she wanted to

That's the only reason she needs. It's the first date, she doesn't owe you anything