Conflicted on whether I have a foot fetish?

[Anonymous]

I'm very conflicted on whether I have one or not. It's just I do get very turned on by attractive feet (girls' of course), and I've watched and gotten really turned on by foot fetish porn. But, I don't know if I'd actually want to take part in that kind of stuff in real life. There are two reasons for this. One, as they say, objectively feet are gross and I am a tiny bit germaphobic and you know, you walk everywhere with them, and there might be fungus down there, etc. The other main reason is social pressure. Currently its social status is taboo and sometimes just because of that I myself think, "Yeah that's gross. Why would I want to do that?" Just because of its negative connotations. Also, I heard that many girls would dump a guy over that, and well I'm already suffering from severe scarcity (check out myTake on what I mean by that: ) at this point in my life (and always have really). So that's going to significantly reduce my dating potential too. So on one end, I do find it really hot and all, but on the other hand there are a lot of complications that can arise from this. In either case, I wouldn't hesitate to give foot rubs and massages and would probably want to do that, at least (and most girls seem to be fine with that based on what I hear online), but I am not sure if I'd want to suck/lick their feet. I also want to say, however, that my general sexual tastes, based on what I find hot in porn and getDare (BDSM site where they give you individual BDSM-esque tasks to complete for self-pleasure), I would be submissive and like mild BDSM (mostly in the context of tease and denial). That's really my main sexual fantasy. Again, this isn't based on any experience with sex, but through exploring what sexual content I find to turn me on the most over the past few years. Also, as a side-note, I may be Under 18, but I am turning 18 in 3.5 months, so I'm not a 13- or 14-year-old asking this.

[Anonymous]

You're right, feet are gross. But you don't have to want to suck/lick them to consider yourself a foot fetishist. You can just enjoy looking or rubbing or what have you.

My advice, ignore social stigma. If you're feeling as self-conscious about it as I am, then just wait until you meet a partner that you are comfortable with, and drop hints to see how she feels about her feet and the fetish. There really is no need to rush into dating. If you narrow down your pool, you will actually be happy when you do start dating. You know that you won't have to hide yourself and pretend you are something you're not. If someone is so ignorant and shallow that they will dump someone over a harmless fetish, then they're not for you.

[Anonymous]

TL;DR most girls won't care, I used to suck on my ex's toes. Foot fetishes are really not that oddball. There are way crazier fetishes to be had. And I have some of them.

[Asker]

Also conflicted on whether you should tell a girl very early on or wait and ease into it as the relationship progresses. The downside to the former is that you'll lose a lot of dating potential. The downside to the latter is that you will have emotionally invested a lot into the relationship, so that will hurt much more and waste a lot of time (instead had she known from the beginning). I've heard people supporting both sides. And you know, I hope what you're saying is true because I've heard people say that they were dumped by every girlfriend they had because of this very thing, so... and if you look at polls online, around 80% of girls hate the idea of foot fetish.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't act like its some condition and they will be cool with it. Just start with a foot massage before sex and work your way up. If you don't put a label on it then she won't either. She will just assume that you really like her feet. When you come forward and say shit like "hey babe, I have a foot fetish" it makes it look like something went terribly wrong in your childhood, but if you just let it happen, no one will say a word.

[Asker]

Would you ask to give a foot massage or just do it?

[Opinion Owner]

I would just say "hey take your socks off" then start massaging her feet.

[Asker]

What if she's already barefoot?

[Opinion Owner]

I'd ask her if she has ticklish feet while simultaneously reaching over to massage them.

[Asker]

Alright, thanks mate.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you do have a foot fetish.

[Asker]

But what should I do about it? That's really what I'm conflicted over then, as you can see above.

[Opinion Owner]

Enjoy it! I've had one for years!!!