I might have sex for the first time tomorrow, should I tell him i'm a virgin or will it not make a difference?

Question

I'm 19 1/2-third year college student and in the finance firm where i'm an intern at-I met a man 2 1/2 years ago. We've talked and gotten to know each other. He's 30 and he's the sweetest, when we first met I was always insecure about our relationship because he has all sorts of older women (close to his age) after him and that brought my self-esteem down because they were more experienced and he's successful and extremely attractive. After all this time of dating, I have finally decided to have sex with him for the first time and even "planned" a getaway for us tomorrow but should i tell him I'm a virgin or will he not care? Should I just keep it to myself?

restore · Accepted Answer

Are you absolutely positive you want to lose your virginity to this 30 year old? I made a mistake similar to this-yes I called it a mistake.

He was quite older, but I did it because I didn't want any attachment and I had no feelings for him. He never knew that I was a virgin (there was no need for it) and I never found out that he took mine away.

In your case, you like him and trust him. It might be a good thing to do. Do not push yourself into having sex with him. You should have spoken about this before to be honest with you. Maybe wait it out, tell him, and then hear his side of the story. Go with no expectations. Good luck :)

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Here's the problem; since you're a virgin, there is a chance that you will bleed after penetration and it is going to be painful. If you don't let him know, the experience could not only be uncomfortable and hurt more since he wouldn't be taking his time, but he could get a bloody surprise when you're both finished. I think if this guy cares about you, he would be able to handle the knowledge of you being a virgin.

LJHam · Accepted Answer

Um, you've been dating him all this time and he still doesn't know that about you? That's usually something you share with a person you really care about when you want them to really care about you. Be honest with the guy, he deserves that.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Guys tend to be a little bit more gentle with women who have no sexual experience than they are with women who have a lot of sexual experience. Also, don't put out in order to compete with "older women (close to his age) [who are] after him". Have sex because you want to.

Broswater · Accepted Answer

Let him know. First time my errr hurt abit and there might be some herm ''bleeding'' abit too. Just tell him so he will know to be ''gentle'' :)

inlovewithyou2014 · Answer

You should probably tell him. Because it might hurt and you don't want him to hurt you. So be sure to communicate with him what you like/dislike.

NotMyUsername15 · Answer

You should let him know.

abundantlyrich · Answer

He has to know. He would hate to get a sore penis after that out of a surprise.

nakedalligator · Answer

Yeah, tell him. And besides, if he's with you he would prefer younger women. He deserves to know your a virgin, I would want to know, you need to treat a first time differently.