25 year old male who is still a virgin. Should I lose it to a prostitute?

Question

I'm 25 years old, I have never had a girlfriend, been kissed or had sex.

I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself that I have never had a girlfriend or lost my virginity. Now this isn't because of the way I look, it's because I'm such a social recluse.

I don't go out an awful lot and I feel very uncomfortable in bars and clubs. I suffered from a lot of social problems when I was younger, I was so painfully shy from around 13-22 that it hindered my ability to make friends. 

I've been on one date in my life, it was arranged by a friend of mine who knew a newly single girl. We went to a resturant and it went horribly because I was so nervous and uncomfortable. I did try online dating for a while in my early 20s but nothing ever happened.

I feel such a massive failure. I realize that being a virgin over the age of 25 is big drawback in society and is off putting to a lot of women when dating. I don't want to be going into my 30s being a virgin as it would be impossible to get a girlfriend. So I need to do something about it.

I've considered potentially going down the very sad sad desperate route of doing it with an prostitute. I feel I have no choice because of my age. I need the experience as I know women will never want to date a guy my age without any form of romantic experience.

It sounds pathetic and desperate I know but that's the way my life is at moment. I'm very down about it.

Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue? Or should I just wait and see and do it in time when I'm ready?

I feel massively under pressure tbh.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think the best way to address your "v-card issue" is to try and put yourself out there more. Enlist a good friend's help if that would be useful to you. Being a virgin isn't a huge issue anyway. Sex isn't rocket science, nor is inexperience a deal breaker, and you'll pick it up easy if you pay attention and care about pleasuring your partner.

The thing is, sex with a prostitute is probably not going to change much. In fact, I think based on what you've written here it might even make you feel worse. You view going to a prostitute as desperate and pathetic - imagine how you'll feel if you actually go through with it.

What you're trying to do is address a symptom (lack of sexual experience), while neglecting to work on the cause and root problem (shyness, isolation), and that's why you're not going to find a satisfactory solution going down this route.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes because being a virgin is such a terrible thing. Just because you do it once with a prostitute, it doesn't mean you're going to magically have all the sex you want. Most likely you still won't get sex unless you pay for it. Is that the life you want? Good luck

BreatheMe · Accepted Answer

Ugh please don't. I'd rather date a 25 year old virgin than a guy that slept with a prostitute. What's the rush? It'll happen for you. Just get yourself out there.

Surfofthenomad · Accepted Answer

Well, maybe therapy could help with the social anxiety, I'm not too much of an expert on that. I used to be shy around women until I started working out and changed my diet, etc. etc... Eventually it increased my testosterone so much that I was just horny all the time and wasn't scared to talk to women anymore. When you do meet a girl to sleep with, don't tell her you're a virgin, just play it straight. The best thing to do is just study, study, study sex. Go to your local bookstore and find some books, I would highly recommend some on cunnilingus because that's what the ladies loveeeee. The first time I did cunnilingus I knew what I was doing because I read up on it so much, but don't limit yourself to just that. Try to figure out as much about sex as you can.

WalterRadio · Accepted Answer

Take a trip to Bangkok, Prague, San Juan, Manila, Kiev, Singapore, Cartegena, any number of places, depending on your taste and budget.

You could go to the bars look for a girl that suits you, you can find someone who is very sweet and looks like a virgin (but don't get fooled). Find one at a mall (many non-prostitutes in places like Bangkok and Manila will accept money for sex), or hire a local to help find one for you (either a pimp at an escort company or most any regular gay guy). Hire her for a few days for the GFE. Be careful not to get ripped off though. If decide to go to the Philippines, there is a good chance your bargirl would marry you if you asked.

NeglectedDyldo · Answer

Personally I don't think you should be ashamed of either. Everyone is different.

There are people who rape, abuse, hurt, bully, mock, belittle, harass, stalk and/or cheat on others people. These are people who should be ashamed. Not you.

If you want to lose your virginity with a prostitute, do it for sexual confidence, not because you're ashamed of being a virgin.

psychomonkey · Answer

How will a prostitute help you?

Anpu23 · Answer

Stop, relax, the more you stress on it the worse it gets. If you think that you need to do this to move on with your life. Then do it, if it's because you are being pressured by outside influences then stop trying to make them happy.

R3d_Anonymous · Answer

Nah man. Socially it won't help you. Women will in fact be more turned off if they find out that you lost it to a prostitute.  You should get therapy or counseling man.

Mother_of_kittens · Answer

Why not waiting for your true love instead of a prostitute?

Octavius · Answer

When you get with women just don't tell them you're a virgin. Most guys lie about their virginity and say they lost it. They aren't entitled to your sexual past. If they ask just say you don't like to kiss and tell.

genericname85 · Answer

My brother lost it to a hooker at 26. Worst decision of his life, he says.

Nathand · Answer

yea... when you die everything on earth won't matter any ways.

SkaterDude · Answer

losing it to a tree via tree hole has more dignity than losing it to a prostitute

jwhit · Answer

Sleeping with a prostitute won't help you develop the social skills necessary to get a girlfriend. You won't be a virgin anymore but you might end up regretting it.

abc--123 · Answer

Why not loose it to 2?

Anonymous · Answer

i'd rather hook up with a guy like this than a guy who lost it to a hooker

Anonymous · Answer

I would say why not

Anonymous · Answer

Look for a girlfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

Man i would say gone ahead in do the prostituion thing I a lot of guys do it than you think I look good but i still did it i dont care what other people think