Guys, Is he intentionally trying to knock me up... or?

... or is he really uneducated about sex? And does he like me or not in ur opinion? (No judging or lectures please, I only want my question answered) Hello, I'm 17 (nearly 18) and I've been chilling and hooking up with a 23 year old guy. I honestly do not know where him and I stand because although he's super nice to me, tries to get to know me, tells me things about himself, takes me out on dates (dinner+movies), made it clear he wants to continue seeing me, he has not asked me to be his girl-friend:/ I don't know if he see's me only as a friend w/ benefits or if he's waiting to make it official relationship until he knows me a bit better since we've gone out on only 4 dates so far (we did end up having sex after 3 of the dates) I've had one friend w/ benefits before him (only other guy I've had sex with besides him and guy I lost my Vcard too) and he never took me out on actual dates or was as sweet as this guy is sooo I'm really confused as to if he likes me or not or how to handle this because I am starting to fall for him even though it's only been a few dates and if he only sees me as a hookup then id rather end this.. I don't know if this matters and sorry if it's TMI but when we have sex he also prefers to not use a condom because he says he wants to make it more "romanic" but I can't tell if that's bullshit or not. The first time we did it we didn't use one and he was being like super sweet? Like kissing me on the forehead and asking if I was comfortable and stuff but I was so paranoid afterwards I've made him wear one the times after that and he was upset I could tell but he was cool about it and wore it anyways when I told him too. Umm yeah I don't know the reason why he prefers to not wear one? either he's intentionally trying to knock me up or he is really really uneducated about sex because as a 23 year old man he should be more responsible especially since I'm 17.. yeah?
He likes me and is waiting to make it official.
Vote A
He only see's me as a friends with benefits and he doesn't see me as a girlfriend.
Vote B
Other (plz expand)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't know if he's intentionally trying to knock you up, but you seem to know better - or at least you sound like you should. He definitely should know better. If you aren't ready to get pregnant, then don't have sex with him (or anyone else) anymore and only have sex when you find that person and are ready. Yes, he should be more responsible. But you aren't being responsible by knowing what's right and wrong and still doing the wrong thing. You still have time to get your head together and start understanding responsibility. Talk to your parents. They should help you. Don't think you won't get pregnant, because 9 times out of 10, you will. And the cost of a child is practically in the same ballpark as buying a house. If you ain't ready to buy a house, you certainly ain't ready to have children yet.

  • Are you using some other form of birth control? This is probably more than a friends with benefits since he is taking you out, but he's an idiot for not using a condom.

    • My parents think I'm a virgin so if I ever asked for birth control they'd murder me and he knows this so I agree with you he is a major idiot. I also agree with you that it's possibly more than friend with benefits but I don't know why he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend, or brought up our status then:/

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What Guys Said

(6)
  • Hello friend now lets talk about benefits. O your pregnant well goodbye/ lets get an abortion together.

  • There are some nasty, controlling guys who use pregnancy as a way to gain control over younger girls. I think this is what's going on here.

    • Hmm. what do you mean why control me?

    • Some guys knock girls up on purpose. Because she's pregnant, she may face rejection from her family, loss of her job, the need for more income to pay for the baby's expenses, etc. He then alternately offers and withholds money and support, making the girl/woman dependent and anxious. That's how they use the fact that the girl is pregnant to control her.

  • Are you not on the pill? If he thinks your on the pill it's unlikely he's worried that you're going to get knocked up.

    You should be more worried about STI's if your unsure if you're the only one he's seeing or has seen or not.

    As for you're other questions, that's something you would have to ask and/or make clear to him. That's you want to make it 'official'.

  • He's an idiot for not using a condom. One of those guys thinking "It will not happen to me".
    Even if *you* know you're clean, he can't know:
    www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...-us-tee_n_90977.html
    You're only 17: are you prepared to raise a child? Can you afford it? Read this: money.cnn.com/interactive/pf/cost-of-children/

  • I am afraid so. You should find a boy your own age. It's just my opinion but sometimes guys can be very shallow.

  • So you're having underage sex with a 23 year old. I don't know why would want to get you prego, that should scare him away